Obtuse Leaving Response
1. I was the first person to come to ChrisW's defense. I came to respect Chris and for a time was even going to contribute to his blog.
2. I was not banned the first time. I left and requested my account be closed. Make no mistake while sffworld could ban 3rdI, they could never keep me off of this forum if I wanted to be here. They could ban a thousand different IP addresses, entire IP Ranges, and it would make no difference. However because I have a great deal of respect for Mark and Dag and because I am not some foolish child if they decided to ban me I would respect that and I would not return.
3. What is relevant however is that it seems I have disrupted the experience of another member in such a manner as to make that member want to leave. I am not so cold a bastard as to not feel bad about that. Therefore I will not log in again.
Obtuse please return.
I have made some friends here that I think are quality people. Those people know who they are. If any of you would like to stay in touch pm me your email address. I will check my PM's periodically today and after that I will request Mark to close my account.
Isn't this whole "obtuse leaving " a little bit of drama over nothing, I'm still new here, but the guy only made 18 posts in the last 12 months , it's not like he was contributing much.
Smells like look at me look at me tbqfh.
tbqfh no drama. Obviously Obtuse wasn't posting because he/she wasn't comfortable. Obtuse was a long time member and has more right to be here than myself. Fair is fair.
Originally Posted by Rulkez
I appreciate your sentiment and believe I understand your point 3rdI, but I do not agree with it. No one member has more of a right to be here than another, no matter how long they have been here, or how many times they have posted. You should remain here if you want to.
Originally Posted by 3rdI
I feel bad that Obtuse, or any member, has left. It is a good forum, and as Obtuse noted before leaving, that is not necessarily an easy thing to find these days. But let us not make any mistake here. Obtuse chose to leave and was not forced to leave. Obtuse did not seek to improve the conservations (that is not meant as a slight, I haven't improved the forum one bit with any post of mine). Any of us have the option to work to improve something we care about, even something like an online forum.
The mods/admins here are fantastic for this community. This would not be a good forum to visit if it was not for them. They have as strong a passion for this place as any team of mods/admins could have. It is evident in their contributions, whether that be with the mod hat on, or off, by adding passionate conversation to this place. Through this conversation, they also get to know the members of the forum and are able to appreciate their POVs and work with them as much as possible whenever issues do arise. The mods here do work to make this a better place, but not just through their moderation. I don't think they get enough credit for that at times.
3rdI, if the mods I described above have not asked you to leave, then trust me, you deserve to be here just as much as me, Obtuse or any other long standing member on this board. You bring a lot of passion and energy to your posts and I think that is a positive to this board. I am sure there are times you made mistakes or rubbed people the wrong way, but there are plenty of times people have done that with you too. It happens, especially on the internet. We are all human. If Obtuse wanted to work with the mods, with you on whatever problem there was, or just in general by trying to promote more of a positive atmosphere, then that was an option that was available. It wasn't taken and instead decided to leave. It doesn't make this a better forum by another member leaving too. :(
Ideally, I would prefer that no one leaves. I'd like to see both Obtuse and 3rdI stay. I even feel bad about ChrisW being banned, despite him making it clear several times that he disliked me personally!
My ideal situation is that people just learn how to follow the SFFWorld rules, and get along. That's why I started the recent "Can't We All Just Get Along?" thread (which, ironically, is the thread where ChrisW got himself banned).
I'm not innocent, I've had my share of warnings and even strikes. I think everyone needs to just take a deep breath, and let the drama subside. All members are equally welcome, there is no seniority system around here.
Do people really get this involved with internet relationships?
drama, such drama.
It would appear that my self-imposed exile only had enough steam for four months. I've found myself missing the community and wondering how the place has changed; how it's stayed the same. So I've been lurking about for several days now, and it seems like the issues I was having have worked themselves out. Discussions seem to be interesting, enjoyable and useful once again. So I think I'd like to come back. Much thanks to the SFFW staff for not taking my rather short-sighted suggestion that they could delete my account to heart. Before I jump back in and try to find a place in the community again, however; I want to offer up some apologies.
First, to the community as a whole. As MattNY pointed out above, I could have worked within the system that is SFFW to affect change and solve the problems the forum was experiencing, but instead I chose the easy route and simply bailed. Even worse, I acted a bit childishly before I did. I stand by the complaints I had, but I'm not especially proud of how I chose to react to and express them. So my apologies to the community for being a jerk as I exited.
Second and more importantly, to 3rdI specifically and to anyone else who believed my vitriol was aimed at them. Part of the above-mentioned childish behavior was a bit of name-calling, of which I am especially not proud. I don't think I called any names that were too awful, relatively speaking, but that isn't really the point. Name-calling, no matter to what degree, is useless, immature and disrespectful. It is something I try very hard to avoid, though I failed completely in that attempt when last I was here. So 3rdI, I am glad you're still here and I hope you (and anyone else who felt slighted) will accept my apology.
He's not here anymore.
Originally Posted by Obtuse
I honestly can't remember this event, and I'm sure that goes for many people, so all I'll say is welcome back and I hope it's more pleasant for you this time around.
Yes, I'm sure most people don't recall it, but I felt the need to offer my apologies anyway, just in case. It was the right thing to do.
As for 3rdI, I saw a post from him as recently as the 11th of this month and several from last month, so I thought he was still around. Too bad.
Glad you are back :) I pop in from time to time. My conduct here has not always been the best. Part of that is ego, part is a general distaste for authority. Really though, looking back over the last year, I took all this way too seriously. Spent way too much time arguing with the staff over policy rather than discussing and discovering good books.
Originally Posted by Obtuse
My bad if I ever offended you in any way. Peace.
Wow, what drama have I missed here at SFFWorld over the years? :p