Vanishing Point

[lemming]

Hi everyone... my short-short story Vanishing Point just got posted today, so I guess I want feedback. It's funny, I wrote this so many years ago and my style has changed so much since then, I feel like someone else wrote it anyway. But I would like to hear what people think. Thanks....

[enazwo]

Good day to you
I just finished reading your story. I'm afraid that I won't be much help in constructive criticsim because I really did completely enjoyed you tale.
There was a charmming poetic whimsy to your narrative.
I enjoyed the descriptition of her voice sounding like cotton balls falling on snow.

When a story is one page there is only so much space to develop your tale. However I found the read pleasant and satisfying, even with the amibgious nature. And even with that I let my imagination go with it.

I liked your story very much.
Sincerely
enazwo

[Erebus]

Well, for me, Vanishing Point was a refreshing read; short, concise and written with an almost poetic eloquence.

I felt that the story was perhaps a metaphor for death or the loss of someone close, at least, that's how it came across to me. As Enazwo has already said, there's little to fault in such a small piece, but it's a great example of your writing style, Lemming, and I look forward to seeing more of your stuff!

[lemming]

Thanks for the replies guys... I guess threads like these are a lot shorter when nobody comes in with inappropriate comments to rile things up!

If anybody ever feels like posting a meaner and more specific post here though, please do so. The story's so old I may never edit it again, but then again, I might.