Lost Breed - the meeting room

[lior]

Well, here it is.

Next, please!




[This message has been edited by lior (edited September 10, 2001).]

[voider]

Hi all, I had a neat post to go under the first one but sanclemente99 beat me to it. If you are going to turn this into a porn story count me out............Dag what do you have to say about it?

[Erebus]

Well, Voider, I don't know about Dag, but I was certainly disappointed by the content of the post to which you refer and have deleted it. Dag has been made aware of my decision, and San...I apologise for having to edit your post but it's really not what I believe we're after here at SFFWorld. If you have an objection to what I have done, then by all means, please contact Dag and I'll leave it to him to adjudicate.

Thanks everyone,

Neil

[voider]

well,were off again. Thought I would post a little mood setting stuff to get the collective juices flowing ...................next!

[Steven Savile]

So are we running with this or killing it?

[voider]

Gee neoxp, i'm not sure I follow you.I mean "put a thousand lives to death" I thought he is the only one of his kind left or at least thus far. Or does this aply to somthing else yet to be posted hmmmmmm."Hosts generosity"Another hmmmmmmm."his power"and of course "accepted their hospitality"So many questions so little space, but then again all's fair in love and posting, or is that love and editing .....any way good job i'll wait and see what happens ........next!

[NeoXP]

Thanks for the remarks voider. ill try to edit my post to clarify a few points.

[sanclemente99]

My apologies to anyone and everyone that I offended with my post.

My intention was not to create a "porn" story. I carefully selected my descriptives to to introduce a profound -- if maturely expressed -- mood of loneliness through a remembrance of an event as a soldier on leave may recall it.

Apparently I failed in that and instead offended. My apologies again to one and all. erebus, thank you for deleting the post.

Please understand why I won't be posting again.

[daigoro]

Sorry about this sanclemente99. I hope you understand that this is not personal meant in any way, it's just as Erebus says that this is not what we feel sffworld.com should be about. We're just trying to make this a safe haven for all the younger people that we know visit the site.

[voider]

SAN.,we all make mistakes, We should learn somthing from them.Now you know what not to do. Beside's that since I was the one to post my objection I feel it only right to welcome you back(I forgive you)
Isn't anyone else going to post anything?
(I seem to be at an impass)


[This message has been edited by voider (edited September 12, 2001).]

[An8el]

yes san clem, if you had your e-mail listed, I would be writing you personally to beg you to continue posting. It's not a personal thing, but a social issue. I wouldn't want to lose your imaginative voice because of a fear of what someone might think - which is what's happened. None of us have an objection, probably none of the "kids" on this site object either, but their parents probably would object.
Angel

[NeoXP]

Hi
I recently posted in this last collaberative story but unfortunatly i want be able to post story-parts again since school has started... so feel free to delete my post if it causes some inconsistancies in the story. Maybe when christmas begins i would take part in another cillaberative story.
Thanks.

[This message has been edited by NeoXP (edited September 14, 2001).]

[voider]

I added some more as this story is moving a lot slower. (due to WTC attack I think)

[This message has been edited by voider (edited September 14, 2001).]

[lior]

Voider, I will take the liberty of making a few suggestions for you, and PLEASE understand that it is not criticism, I'm only trying to help.
I would suggest you use paragraphs, it makes the reading a lot more easy.
also I would urge you to hit the space bar more often, as sentences blur and mingle with each other.
God knows that my own spelling is far from perfect, and this is not an english class and you don't have to spell everything in a flawless way, but too many spelling errors can undermine what you are trying to do and that is to tell your part of the story.
when I write I keep a dictionary by my side for those long or complicated words, not because I fear that everyone will say "he can't spell", but because I want to make the story as much as readable as I can. I think that when you read a story and find a spelling or grammatical error, you don't think of the story anymore, but on the words and sentences that make it.
Again, I make mistakes too, but I try as much as I can to avoid them.
I saw you edited the story twice, try and use the edit function to better your tale concerning style, I assure you that if you use pragraphs, spacing and check your spelling more often, your posts will have a much better impact!

lior

[voider]

An8el,"Kadabra" is the word I was hoping someone would pick up on. You know, like the words you say when you do a magic trick to make somthing disapear.
"ABBRA KADABRA"
Small matter though,
For some reason I keep picturing the birds you wrote about like the one's in the movie DARK CRYSTAL have you ever seen it?They were like buzzards with buldging eye's and long necks.I can't wait to see how these talking birds fit in and what they do next!