Corrupt A Wish

**Loiren** · May 28th, 2007, 08:00 AM

Granted, but sadly it now has a habit of spontaneously combusting (without burning up) which leaves your skin blistered and burnt for weeks...

I wish that I had enough money to buy some more books and shelves to put them on...

**Rheingold** · May 28th, 2007, 11:27 AM

Granted, but then authors like Alison will never have enough money to write anymore and there will never be a book published again!

I wish I could go to Europe....

**Bree** · May 28th, 2007, 01:19 PM

granted, but turns out europe flooded years ago so you'll be underwater, oh and there's a civil war.

I wish I knew why my dad brought a rock home from Africa.

**Rheingold** · May 28th, 2007, 01:34 PM

Granted, but then you find out it's because he didn't care about you enough to buy something.

I wish I could write like Alison.

**piglover4551** · May 28th, 2007, 02:13 PM

Granted crazy fans would try to break into your house and steal your work...*cough cough* LOL

I wish I had a pineapple.

**Loiren** · May 28th, 2007, 02:28 PM

Granted. Sadly it is now your only food source and is a disturbing shade of blue...

I wish I knew the answer to LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING (or the ultimate question!!!)

Sorry...couldn't resist!!!

**Bree** · May 28th, 2007, 02:28 PM

granted, but the knowlege is too much and you explode

I wish the tree outside didn't look yellow.

**Loiren** · May 28th, 2007, 02:33 PM

Granted. It is now glowing and red, with multi-coloured spots!!!

I wish my body would stick itself back together, as it was pre-explosion...

**Jenny Lee** · May 28th, 2007, 03:47 PM

Granted, but when your body parts come back together, you notice that they are a bit burnt... and for the rest of your life you smell like ash.
I wish that I could become a pinecone and have a power to not blink for 4 whole minutes!!

**Quelogue** · May 28th, 2007, 04:32 PM

I wish that I could become a pinecone and have a power to not blink for 4 whole minutes!!

Granted, but then you germinate into a 40 ft high tree and end up not being able to blink until a forest ranger comes along to cut you down. Oh, and did I mention the dust storms from the nearby desert?

Originally Posted by Loiren

I wish I knew the answer to LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING (or the ultimate question!!!)

Sorry...couldn't resist!!!

Nothing wrong with a bit of H2G2. I wish I had survived the Total Perspective Vortex.

**DaniCarr** · May 28th, 2007, 05:06 PM

I wish I could find Quelogue' wish. (seriously what is it?)

**Quelogue** · May 29th, 2007, 01:11 AM

Extract taken from entry in Wikipedia on the Total Perspective Vortex:

The Total Perspective Vortex, in the fictional world of Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is the most horrible torture device to which a sentient being can be subjected. Located on Frogstar World B, it shows its victim the entire unimaginable infinity of the universe with a very tiny marker that says "You Are Here" which points to a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot.

The machine was originally invented by one Trin Tragula in order to annoy his wife. Because she was forever nagging him for having no sense of proportion, he decided to invent something that would show her what having a sense of proportion really meant. Unfortunately the shock of being placed in the Vortex destroyed her brain, but Trin Tragula's grief was tempered by the knowledge that he had been right and she had been wrong. The Total Perspective Vortex had proved that in an infinite universe the one thing sentient life cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.

The machine produces a virtual reality model of the entire universe by means of the axiom that any piece of matter is affected by all other matter. The Vortex reconstructs the universe through computer processing of a high-resolution scan of a small object. In the words of the Hitchhiker's Guide,

"...since every piece of matter in the Universe is in someway affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation - every Galaxy, every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition, and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake."

My apologies to Ree123 for moving (temporarily) away from the theme of this thread.

**Ingu** · May 29th, 2007, 02:05 AM

Granted... he didn't really make a wish... O.o

I wish Canberra wasn't such a boring town (capital city)!

**Bree** · May 29th, 2007, 11:26 AM

Maybe his wish was for us to read that passage he posted...

Anyway

Granted, but it becomes so popular that you can't move through the streets, it becomes overrun with vandals and you are forced to leave and live in the jungle.

I wish I knew what came before the universe

**Loiren** · May 29th, 2007, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by Quelogue

I wish I had survived the Total Perspective Vortex.

Granted, but having survived it, you are so traumatised by your insignificance that you lock yourself up, throw away the key and spend the rest of your life having conversations with the furniture in said lock-up...

I wish I knew what came before the universe

Granted, but to find out, you need to travel through time and space. There is some confusion on the return journey and you find yourself stuck, 300 million years before the creation of anything, floating (and surviving) in a pitch black area of unknown dimensions...alone...

(they were cheerful, weren't they!!!)

I wish I had a TARDIS