well, the title says it all basically, i would be grateful to any people willing to sacrifice some of their time to reading the two pages (i mean, come on, it's really short) of my small story that has been, after millenia of waiting and hoping, published on this cool website (i mean that) and now is ready to engulf anybody who's willing to tinker with it... hmmm. don't mind this intro, it's a bit off, i know, but it's cool when you have the ability to write something and you actually get other people to read it... and for free... yes, this is the magnificence of this site - providing the opportunity. ok, just give me any comments on the story, they'll all be appreciated and answer a simple question: does it make you wanna read more, to go on with the plot? thank you
P.S.: for some obscure and magical reason, there are question marks in my text where three full - stops should be. like this:
... ---> ?
so, when you see that and wonder what are those ? about, you'll know.