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  1. #346

    Is this correct

    I do not want this redone. but could someone please tell me if this is correct grammatically etc, and what slight modifications could be made to make it better (in terms of grammar and punctuation)


    An advertisement, as well as promoting a product or service, can also contain messages in
    the form of connotations and different discourses, that affect peoples views on life in
    general. Advertisers put certain texts, such as images and writing, into the
    advertisement which can support or oppose a cultures dominant belief on a topic,
    and in doing so, can help to advertise the product. Discourses such as gender,
    family, class, technology and race are present in the Mitsubishi Motors advertisement
    which are all put in place to help market the merchandise. Certain denotations and
    the signified meaning in unison with certain discourses will be analysed to
    find the true social and cultural messages.



    thank you

  2. #347
    I AM too a mod! Moderator Rocket Sheep's Avatar
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    I dunno, as a work of speculative fiction it's terribly bland. I think you should start with an action scene and bring in your main character early so the reader has someone to identify with.

    Oh wait... is this your homework? Do you want SFFworld to do your homework for you?

  3. #348
    it is my homework for english, but i don't want it done for me, it's just i want to do really well, and with this being a grammar forum i figured you guys could help. But if this is the wrong place to post this i am sorry.

  4. #349
    Master Obfuscator Dawnstorm's Avatar
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    Well, this thread is the best possible place on these boards for your query, but these boards aren't exactly the best possible place on the web. For this kind of query, a dedicated grammar board for students such as usingenglish.com might be better. More people go there; among them English teachers from all over the world.

    That said:

    1. "...messages in the form of connotations and different discourses, that...": Depending on how you read the comma, there's either one comma too few or one to many, here. The two possibilities are:

    a) appositive commas: "...messages, in the form of connotations and different discourses, that..."

    b) relative clause comma: "...discourses that..." = no comma, because the relative clause is a defining one ("messages that affect" rather than "messages, which happen to affect...")

    2. "connotations and different discourses": "different" may not be the word you're looking for, here. Different from what? If, as I suspect, you mean "different from each other" "various" might be a better word.

    3. "a cultures dominant belief":

    a) culture's

    b) "belief" may not be the word your looking for, here. A belief is specific to a single item, such as "the belief that tomatoes as sentient". I think you may mean "ideology" here, or "belief structure", or something like that.

  5. #350
    infomaniac Expendable's Avatar
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    "...and different discourses, that..."
    I'd suggest taking out the comma here and replacing "that" with "which", but that's just my opinion. Second everything else Dawnstorm suggests.

  6. #351
    Sacorian
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artistic Wizard View Post
    You would use the word WHOSE. This is the possessive case of who or which used as an adjective........WHO'S is a contradictionof who is or of who has.......I hope this helps.
    Contraction of who is perhaps? lol

  7. #352
    Sacorian
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    Heh heh What about "Tblues Cat" as in Mr Cat first name Tblue
    J[/QUOTE]

  8. #353
    Hi all again.

    Just wondering if this sentence works (the previous sentence notes that the character is looking at a well, and specifically the bucket that's full of water):
    The slosh as he gripped it was sweeter than.... [and so on]

    Does that work, when I want to say: 'The slosh that he heard as he gripped it was sweeter than...' (a clunkier sentence, which is why I currently use the previous sentence).

    Thank you!
    Last edited by Teatime007; February 28th, 2008 at 04:23 PM.

  9. #354
    I AM too a mod! Moderator Rocket Sheep's Avatar
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    The slosh is the subject of the sentence, therefore "it" now refers to the slosh.

    Is slosh a sweet sound?

    Is "sweet" too modern for a storyline where there's wells and buckets?

    I only have questions, sorry.

  10. #355
    Hi all again!

    Is this grammatical? (a character who's just arrived home after beinglost in the countryside):

    'Whatever it is you're scouring the depths of your mind to suggest that I crawled through, I probably did.'

    Two possible errors: 'scouring the depths of your mind to suggest...' - should that be 'scouring the depths of your mind FOR to suggest', or is that still incorrect? I know you can say 'whatever it is you're about to suggest that I crawled through', but I can't work out if my version above - with the FOR - works.

    Secondly, the part after the comma. Substituting the beginning with a bit that I know works: 'whatever it is that you're about to suggest that I crawled through, I agree. I probably did.' - is that better? I don't know if I can follow an 'object' - 'whatever it is' - with something like 'I probably did.' Or perhaps: '... that I crawled through, yes. I probably did.' (or even '... that I crawled through: yes. I probably did')

    maybe the whole sentence needs redoing!

    Any suggestions appreciated,
    Thanks
    Last edited by Teatime007; March 13th, 2008 at 04:33 PM.

  11. #356
    Master Obfuscator Dawnstorm's Avatar
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    Complicated, that one.

    1. scoure [something] for [something]. So, yes, you need the "for". The "whatever" stands in for the objects of both the "for" and the "through":

    "to scoure through [depth of mind] for [whatever] to suggest that I crawled through [whatever]"

    So that's grammatical (though possibly a bit convoluted).

    2. Adding "yes", or "I agree" doesn't make a difference since it's a parenthetical phrase that expresses agreement. Whether it's there or not has no influence on "I probably did." None at all. That's why you should probably not end the sentence after these phrases, but continue with a comma: "whatever..., yes, I..."

    3. "I probably did," is problematic. It suggests, from the previous clause, "I probably did [whatever]," but the meaning is "I probably did crawl through [whatever]". So the "did" falls short. In dialogue, it's quite likely that people say that, because of the convolutions of that sentence. But it's not, strictly speaking, grammatical. (Unless I'm missing something, which isn't impossible.)

  12. #357
    Gloriam Imperator kged's Avatar
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    This one is a bit dull - it's not related to a story I'm writing or anything, it's a recurring issue in my working life. Nonetheless, I ask for your help. The facts:

    I'm a Court clerk in the Family Law Courts here in Manchester. During each case that comes before my Judge, there is a meeting of the professionals involved in the care of the relevant child(ren) - the solicitors, the social workers, the Guardian, teachers, etc. It's a key event in the progress towards a resolution of each case, and features in about 75% of all the orders I have to draw up after hearings. The question is: what should this event be called? Is its proper name:

    "the professionals meeting";

    "the professional's meeting";

    or,

    "the professionals' meeting"?

    I've given this a lot of thought and I'm damned if I can figure this one out (bloody comprehensive education). Advise me.

  13. #358
    Master Obfuscator Dawnstorm's Avatar
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    Google finds more "professionals meeting" than "professionals' meeting" or "professional's meeting", though I found them all. In compound nouns, that is if you say [proFEssionals meeting] rather than [professionals MEETing], the apostophe is often absent.

    The logical interpretation would be "professionals' meeting" as a possessive noun-noun compound, while "professionals meeting" would be a plural noun-noun compound. In practise, I think, the distinction makes little to no difference.

    If it's not a compound, you need "professionals' ".

  14. #359
    Thanks for the reply - I keep wanting to use these types of sentences, but want to clarify once and for all whether they work.

    'Whatever secrets the box may have kept hidden, Tim was unable to find them.'

    Does that work? 'Tim was unable to find whatever secrets the box kept hidden' does, but I'm not sure the sentence rearrangement above does. An alternative is: 'If the box hid any secrets, Tim was unable to find them'.

    Thanks.
    Last edited by Teatime007; March 16th, 2008 at 08:38 AM.

  15. #360
    Master Obfuscator Dawnstorm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teatime007 View Post
    Thanks for the reply - I keep wanting to use these types of sentences, but want to clarify once and for all whether they work.

    'Whatever secrets the box may have kept hidden, Tim was unable to find them.'

    Does that work? 'Tim was unable to find whatever secrets the box kept hidden' does, but I'm not sure the sentence rearrangement above does. An alternative is: 'If the box hid any secrets, Tim was unable to find them'.

    Thanks.
    Yep, your sentence works, and your reasoning is sound, too. The alternative works, too.

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