The Grammar Query Thread!

[davie]

I think the real question here is: Shouldn't there be a comma after "Oh" in the afore?

Just kidding.

I would also like to whole-heartedly agree with milamber_reborn, though. I have noticed that my writing is markably better after after or while I am reading a good novel -- and I do find myself thinking about the author's style. It's both a good and bad thing. It's like being in a drama class... you have more appreciation for what the actors are going through, but it makes it that much harder to suspend disbelief and accept the story (in my experience, anyway).

-David

Edit: "[A]bove" changed "afore" as the post was unceremoniously shunted to a new page. :P

[An8el]

Here's examples of writing style...numbered for easy reference.

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand
times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million
can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

[Miriamele]

Very clever examples, An8el (by the way how is one supposed to pronounce your name?). Where did you get that list from? It really gets the points across.

[An8el]

A friend knew I like to write, so I got sent the entire list as a joke. I don't know where he got it. It's very artistic when what you are saying and the way you say it are congruent.

For my name, you would say, "Angel." The "8" signifies the number "g" because when I write I make gees look like eights.

What I just write is a puctuation agony! I'm always wondering if I'm explaining that correctly. I just spelled out the numbers phonetically so it would be less confusing. Did I get it right?

[milamber_reborn]

I disagree with double negatives; its commonplace and can be used for emphasis.

Fragmented sentences are great. Used for emphasis and is more style than bad grammar.

[davie]

Originally posted by An8el
Here's examples of writing style...numbered for easy reference.

...
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
...

Is the joke that "irregardless" above should be 'irregardlessly"? I had to think about this, because it wasn't something I was aware was incorrect (if my assumption about the joke is right). I've just come to accept "irregardless", regardlessly.

My advice regarding your question, would be to write, "g's", but I think the main concern is to do whatever gets the idea across most effectively.

Peace,
-David

P.S. I don't particularly like double-negatives, but sometimes they get a more subtle idea across: "Almost, but not entirely, unlike tea."

[davie]

It appears that I have learned a new lesson today. Apparently I had never caught on before to the fact that "irregardless" is not a word at all. Well, consultation of "The Elements of Style"'s list of commonly misused words set me straight. Here's to learning something new every day, and publicly making a fool of yourself in the process. Huzah!

-David

[Patois]

I taught English comp. for 12 years at the local junior college. One of my favorite punctuation examples was this:

A good dog knows its master.
A good dog knows it's master.

(And haven't we all known dogs like that?)

[An8el]

My advice regarding your question, would be to write, "g's", but I think the main concern is to do whatever gets the idea across most effectively.

I would have written it "gs" because it's not a possessive. It didn't look right, so I spelled it out, "gee." Your way just looks better, but it doesn't make sense to me. Anyone else have a clue?

Proud to be foolish, huh? You *can* edit your posts so you don't look entirely clueless forever. I have another friend who declares, "I make as many mistakes as it takes."

[davie]

I did know that you can edit posts (look back through the thread and you'll see I've done it in the past). I decided that I had rightly earned my status as "fool" and so should not shrink away from it.

[Patois]

One more punctuation goody that I've remembered since the last post:

The difference a hyphen makes:

I saw a man eating lobster.

I saw a man-eating lobster.

And a couple of misplaced modifier funnies:

Scratching and barking, I watched my dog.

Swinging from tree to tree, the scientist studied the monkeys.

[davie]

I am reminded of Jack Smith's wonderful sentence: "I saw a man chasing a cat with a broom in his underwear." Which leads to the obvious question, "Did the cat have back problems, or was it the man who had the broom in his underwear?"

[Sammie]

Originally posted by An8el
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

Shouldn't be too problematic for many - sitting in a classroom with 20 other 3rd year degree students the other day, was shocked to discover that i was the only person in the room who could tell which of the sentences the teacher was putting up were in the passive voice, and which were active. (And we're talking sentences like ''the cow ate the grass")

(As a side note....if you keep interrupting people with the correct answer, they murder you with looks....and if you don't, you die of frustration. And if you start explaining how you can tell which sentence is which, be prepared for the french teacher to get miffed...!)

[kater]

Ummmm lol? Thats a very clever list An8el, reminds of an annoying english teacher I had at A-level

[An8el]

...A smarty pants teacher. Anyone who would make learning this kind of thing that fun would be pretty cool. Imagine a test where the teacher says, "give a sentence that succinctly violates a rule(s) of grammer and note which rule(s) it concerns..." Probably that's where the list came from!