I am seeking literary representation for my 98,000-word Young-Adult Fantasy novel Child of Dreams. The intro is a bit on the boring side...but serviceable, I guess. Might want to think of personalizing this for each agent?
Every single night[comma]
Adrian Moor watches his mother die before his eyes. In tortured dreams[comma]
he relives the moment of her death, helpless but to watch as she is beaten and burned alive during a genocide that occurred before he was born. The bold bit makes no sense. How on earth could she die before he was born? I imagine them pulling his crying, infant body from her mangled body? Also, it is very clunky. Read it out loud. Maybe we need more context about his magical abilities in this sentence?
Adrianís life is further [why further? consider cutting]
uprooted when three Legionnaires, fabled gunslingers, arrive at his uncleís inn and reveal to him that he is a descendant of the Ascillians, an ancient people despised due to [cut 'due to', use 'for']
their strange magic. This revelation shatters the bond between Adrian and his cousin Connor, who suddenly regards him as something vile and abnormal. The Legionnaires tell Adrian that the king has need of him, and that the [cut 'the']
he means to make use of Adrian no matter what [consider cutting 'no matter what']
. For in the dead lands known as the Ruins[comma]
rests the Source of Light. S
only an Ascillianís touch may revive it. Not sure about that last sentence. I just wanted to make a new sentence out of that because it is so important. It needs to have more of an impact.
As Adrian sets out on this perilous mission[comma]
he must come to terms with not only what he is[comma]
but also the immense weight of the duty expected of him. All the while uncertainty eats at him, and he wonders if he should truly help save the people who slaughtered his race.
No short story publications?
Thank you for your consideration.