I think you are much closer to agreeing on most points and are getting riled up over lesser points.
I hopped over to wikipedia and it defines a romance novel as...
The romance novel is a literary genre developed in Western culture, mainly in English-speaking countries. Novels in this genre place their primary focus on the relationship and romantic love between two people, and must have an "emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending."
Regardless of modern variance it sets the tone and agrees essentially with KatG's definition.
So in my mind Paranormal Romance = story centered on a romantic relationship (or plural, what the heck) + supernatural elements.
I don't actually care how many readers, fans, reviewers, etc protest, personally I say they're wrong. Some of them aren't reading/writing a PNR novel. Some of what they say is PNR is actually UF w/heavy romantic subplots.
They know what they like, but it doesn't mean they are right about the definition. And I think calling them wrong actually helps the discussion and clarifies things a bit.
Because then you can label things as PNR easily and accurately.
And for UF you then explain why it isn't PNR, but it does have X amount of romance w/a discussion. That serves the purpose, I think.
You can do what you like, but I'm going with KatG's definition as it makes the most sense. Of course I doubt I'll review any books for this thread at the rate I'm reading them.
I think this whole thread would be much smaller and less cantankerous if it had been titled - How much romantic content is in this book?
But I think that most folks would blow over it even though that's EXACTLY what they want to know.
But they will read - Is it a Paranormal Romance Novel, so the thread's title does it's job.