View Poll Results: Your favorite?
- 5. You may not vote on this poll
The Final Solution
The Walls of Grummidge Hall
The Ruuvian Text
A Company in Red: A Tale from the Empyrean Chronicles
Results 1 to 14 of 14
October 24th, 2012, 05:16 PM #1
September - October SS Voting Thread
We had less entries than I was banking on, but it's still more than last time.
Taramoc - The Final Solution
Daily Rich - The Walls of Grummidge Hall
norm - The Ruuvian Text
Slynt - A Company in Red: A Tale from the Empyrean Chronicles
Well actually now that I posted them, they seem like a lot ... eh 4? That's twice as many stories as last time.
Anyways enjoy your readings folks, and vote away once you've made a decision
October 24th, 2012, 05:19 PM #2
October 26th, 2012, 03:07 PM #3
All four have excellent parts, but only one consistently hit the mark for me and that was The Ruuvian Text.
The Final Solution should have been the winner. It has everything:Time travel, a nice middle-class family in peril, Nazis, the works. I got confused near the start with the description of the home invaders, which made me think I had completely misread the opening paragraphs. They told me we were in modern-day suburban USA, while the description of the home invaders initially made me think they had turned up in full SS gear, and Patrick's almost matter-of-fact acceptance of the situation made me think he was a Jew of that period. The Big Idea of Hitler being played by a Mossad agent is interesting, though not much of a surprise by the time we get to the reveal, and the justification of being forced to play the part to the end, not worth spending so much word-count on. Saving the family with another time-traveller was an easy get-out, and made no sense with the rest of the story or Claire's character.
The Walls of Grummidge Hall was so close, so close! Sorry DR - nothing to fault it, just not quite my cup of tea this month. Maybe the thought of skeletons getting their freak on was too much.
A Company in Red: A Tale from the Empyrean Chronicles. Absolutely excellent, from start to about 500 words from the end, which just did not work for me. I felt like the capable adults had been transformed into simulacrums of standard teen protagonists, because only children would think the best way to expose the evil baddie is to smash your way into his bedroom in the certainty you will find the evidence you need. And then, you deny us seeing him getting the thrashing he so richly deserves. NO!
The Ruuvian Text was, in a way, lucky I'm on a Lovecraft kick at the moment, because that's exactly what this is. Gentleman scholar seeks forbidden texts from ancient beings beyond the galaxy, discovers awful evil, goes mad - it even has clawed creatures lurking in the cold, dark depths. Classic Lovecraft mythos story, with a straightforward but nicely underplayed sci-fi turn. Could have done without the feelgood ending.
October 27th, 2012, 04:40 AM #4
Thank you for the kind words, Zachariah! "Absolutely excellent" kind of made my day I struggled so much with this tale and as you correctly spotted, the last parts aren't good at all. I spent so much time working on the first half, and the last half I rushed through to get it done before the deadline. To hear (read) that you liked the first half made it worth the struggle.
October 29th, 2012, 03:26 PM #5
- Join Date
- May 2010
- Newmarket, Ontario Canada
- Blog Entries
This was a tough choice. Each entry had things I liked, and disliked.
The Final Solution - I voted for this because I most enjoyed the concept and its intricacy. I could see how someone could argue that Claire coming back as an old woman came about too suddenly. I could see how one could argue that certain parts felt unrealistic ( some of the dialogue exchange between the captor and his hostages seemed odd). But the story and the idea had me entranced to the point that none of that really mattered. There are hints of genius here.
Time travel; it always ends in disaster doesn't it?
The Walls of Grummidge Hall – Good concept, the important details were revealed at a good pace, which hooked me in and had me wanting to know more. The story didn’t really “wow” me though, it felt like it needed. . . Something. Not sure what. I think what it came down to, was that the skeletons’ existence felt somewhat pointless. I’m not sure I really cared all that much whether or not they all disappeared.
A cute concept, but it needed a bit more life to it- No wit intended.
A Company In Red - I was almost ready to vote for this, but you picked a bad point in the story to leave your readers hanging. The entire story built up to a conflict and then stopped right as the conflict was ready to take place. The twists and turns were well hinted, they were subtle enough to make me feel clever when I clued in to what was probably going on, and a bit excited in anticipating that potential reveal.
The important details of your world were shown with just the right amount of subtlety, everything was disclosed without bashing the reader over the head, and at the same time everything was revealed with clarity, I wasn’t in the dark at any point. Not quite G.R.R.M level storytelling, but perhaps not all that far from the mark either.
All that said, I enjoyed each entry, but I think they all could have used a bit more editing. Some sentence restructuring, some clarification of scenes here or there. But overall I enjoyed reading them. I just wish I could have finished the story that I was working on for this round and submitted it on time, I was looking forward to it.
Oh well, back in the closet it goes. Hopefully I can resurrect it again sometime soon.
October 30th, 2012, 04:25 AM #6
And thanks to you as well Norm for the high praise. Even though I screwed up by not getting the story done, your comments tell me that at least for the first part of the story I was onto something.