Horror Story lost....

[Jay232]

I've thought of an exorcist type twist to my book. There is a blond girl ghost in the house who appears to be about eight years old. Ally eventually wants to communicate with the little girl, but doesn't know the dangers of the quija board. She brings through a demon possessed spirit of a dark haired girl, out only for harm and through another session, before realizing what evil she had brought through, she communicates with a man who asks for her help. Later that spirit collects enough energy and turns on her. So she now has two demons in her house along with the blond girl who was only a 'reaccuring ghost' unaware of her death and unaware that Ally is even there. Or maybe I will make her an intelligent ghost and have her try to message Ally to warn her of what she had brought through the windows of 'hell'.
Is that a slow start or does it sound ok?

[Expendable]

Sounds great. Write it!

--Ex.

[Jay232]

I've made some edits to my prologue thanks to you, ex, and I've decided to post it in the community. I invite any critiques and suggestions!
I was thinking of calling it Sara's Beacon and putting a bigger backround into the little girl's character and how the little girl will be the biggest factor in the 'happy ending', but it popped in my head and I can't think of anything else Ex, if you got ideas for a title.....LOL j/p

[Expendable]

http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/229p0.html

I like the changes but hmm, not sure if its telling too much. What does everyone else think?