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  1. #1
    Lord of Wallumbilla Gregorius_H's Avatar
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    Critique: Impressions on a character...

    Okay, I've posted a new story in the community section (about twenty seconds ago actually). It's a story that had been sitting untouched on my hard drive for about six months, I dug it up a few nights ago and decided to finish it. It's called 'Guardian'. There's a character that appears towards the end, (called 'The Collector') that is also going to be making a rather significant appearance in this larger work that I'm planning. I need to know what people think of him.

  2. #2
    I have to say that he is a very interesting character.. I would like to read what impression he would have in your larger piece of writing. He's described well, I have a pretty detailed picture in my mind of what kind of person he is. You're a very good writer

  3. #3
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    Jay is right, he is very well described. I particularly liked the comment about being "like a knight from the gutters" (although the last bit about "of the universe" may be overkill).

    My one gripe with the character is his dialogue. The catatonic zombie-speak seems to work against his colorful appearance. I'd either spruce up his lines a bit or simply make him mute.

  4. #4
    Lord of Wallumbilla Gregorius_H's Avatar
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    Hmmm, I agree. Perhaps the zombie speak wasn't a good idea. I've decided to change the character a little bit (actually, a whole lot) now. Before he was just mindlessly going about a task, without really understanding why. But now I think I want him to know exactly what he's doing, and why, even if he doesn't know how he's doing it.

    In the larger piece, which I just finished my plan for today, he kind of plays the role of enigmatic horror/dark fantasy villain. Bascially there's a town (population 400) that is bombarded by a bunch of random objects falling from the sky one day. The objects (everything from ancient broad swords to pool tables) target people as they fall and crush/stab/slash/impale/etc. everyone in the town. Then the army moves in... and the Collector shows up, spouting something about how "The Clans are mobilizing..." and the apocalypse starts in motion...

    It's pretty crazy, but I like crazy.

    Do you think the reader needs to know about the Collector's past, or is it best left unexplained in the larger work? Do you think there should actually be places in the novel written from his perspective, or would the character loose some of his mystery that way?

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Gregorius_H
    Do you think the reader needs to know about the Collector's past, or is it best left unexplained in the larger work? Do you think there should actually be places in the novel written from his perspective, or would the character loose some of his mystery that way?
    I wouldn't think parts coming from his perspective would be good because just like you said he would loose some of his mystery. But it does all depend on what kind of character you are creating. From what I gather, it's best to let him keep his mystery On the other hand, somewhat of a background would be ok. Too many questions is annoying, I've seen movies that I just want to kill the TV because it was so confusing. Books too ...... But if you explain just enough throughout the story or something I'm sure it would work well.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gregorius_H
    Do you think the reader needs to know about the Collector's past, or is it best left unexplained in the larger work? Do you think there should actually be places in the novel written from his perspective, or would the character loose some of his mystery that way?
    I'd have answered sooner, but finding out that you were only 17 sent me scrambling for a bottle of Grecian formula. Now, while brown-colored oil drips down my forehead, here's the reply:

    You could go either way. Some readers like to walk a mile or two in the villain's shoes. Some like mystery. It's really whatever you want to do. My recommendation would be to write a couple of chapters from his experience. Even if you don't like them, you can always take them out later. And it's good practice. Might even help you think through his transformation from zombie to "enigmatic horror/dark fantasy villain", which would be good since readers usually fall in love with a villain's mind, not his body.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go towel off the head wax.

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