A comedy Fantasy

[Morgan]

ok... I'm prostrating my work humbly before you all... I have uploaded the first chapter of my fantasy/comedy to sffworld. If the have either the time or the inclination, then I would appreciate your thoughts on the work.

it can be found at: http://www.sffworld.com/authors/e/ewington_andrew/fiction/limpitmuskin1.html

be warned it might offend the mainstream fantasy-loving readers out there, so if you have a heart condition, heavily pregnant or suffer from a bad back, then I advise you not to join the ride.

thanks. M.

 

[Morgan]

as an addendum the beginning scene has been changed from what is originally on Sffworld - (I re-edited after a drunken binge and I'm much happier with it - if you wish to read it in it's latest incarnation - then PM and I'll happily direct you to where it can be found.)

M.

 

[Morgan]

*...hmmm maybe I should have offered free beer as an incentive...*

 

[Vladimir]

uuh free beer?

I'll read it for beer

when I've got time anyways

 

[Morgan]

Originally posted by Vladimir
uuh free beer?

I'll read it for beer

when I've got time anyways

give me a postal address and I'll mail one to you... what brand?

 

[Vladimir]

well... after reading the 3 first pages I get the urge to strangle this Morgan fellow with my bare hands and torch down the inn ... good work

 

[Morgan]

Originally posted by Vladimir
well... after reading the 3 first pages I get the urge to strangle this Morgan fellow with my bare hands and torch down the inn ... good work

that's anti-heroes for you

 

[Morgan]

*... what about if I throw in a packet of pork scratchings too?...*

 

[KatG]

I couldn't read all of it, but I would say that you are doing something funny, and not at all irregular or controversial. And I'd suggest again that you definitely read Glen Cook's Garrett P.I. series; it may be helpful. The first one is "Sweet Silver Blues" but any of them will do ya.

I don't usually read the stories posted for feedback as I don't have time, but I couldn't stand the pleading.

 

[Morgan]

Originally posted by KatG
I couldn't read all of it, but I would say that you are doing something funny, and not at all irregular or controversial. And I'd suggest again that you definitely read Glen Cook's Garrett P.I. series; it may be helpful. The first one is "Sweet Silver Blues" but any of them will do ya.

I don't usually read the stories posted for feedback as I don't have time, but I couldn't stand the pleading.

...the irregular and controversial stuff comes later... 'probably end up being banned by the church' sort of controversial, but hey, I'm already destined to burn in hell...

thanks for taking the time to take a peek, I'll cease badgering the members further and let it duely slip away to the second page and into obscurity...

I'll go onto amazon now and get myself a copy of 'Sweet Silver Blues'...
(update: Amazon is out of stock... so I'll wait until they get a new batch)

cheers! M.

 

[KatG]

Originally posted by Morgan


...the irregular and controversial stuff comes later... 'probably end up being banned by the church' sort of controversial, but hey, I'm already destined to burn in hell...

thanks for taking the time to take a peek, I'll cease badgering the members further and let it duely slip away to the second page and into obscurity...

I'll go onto amazon now and get myself a copy of 'Sweet Silver Blues'...
(update: Amazon is out of stock... so I'll wait until they get a new batch)

cheers! M.

Well we've been hashing this about in Taboos, but sf and fantasy are primarily secular and the "church" never bothers to look there. They couldn't ignore Rowling of course, but if you asked such folk to name ten fantasy writers besides Tolkein and Rowling, most probably wouldn't be able to do it. So though it may be controversial stuff in your real world, I think that you will find that sf/f publishers will just shrug. Like I've said, comic fantasy has been around a long time. It exploded into a major sub-genre in the late eighties and in general, is both highly irreverent toward major religions and traditional fantasy.

 

[Morgan]

that's a relief... last thing I'd want is the church issuing a fatwah on me (joke)... anyhows that's not the only thing the main protagonist proceeds to assault... there's homosexuality (nothing wrong with it... just the main character has a problem with it)... also he's an ageist.. sexist... and every other 'ist' I can think of... the fun part of all that is that he has to eventually face up all of these...

 

[OgreWolf]

Seemed like you didn't get much feedback, so I just wanted to tell you that I have read part of your story, and will read the rest, just a little busy reading for my physics exams.

 

[Morgan]

Originally posted by OgreWolf
Seemed like you didn't get much feedback, so I just wanted to tell you that I have read part of your story, and will read the rest, just a little busy reading for my physics exams.

Hey! That's cool! Much appreciated... sorry to hear about the physics exam -all I ever remember from physics was standing on plastic bucket touching a vandegraph (or whatever that thing was called) and being prodded by a sadistic teacher with a metal bar - and they wonder why I turned my back on rocket science and embraced comedy...

Good luck by-the-way

 

[OgreWolf]

I have now read the whole story (what was posted at least). I liked it very much.
I don't know very much about the plot yet, so I cannot comment upon that.
However, there are things I can and will coment upon.
I think the first scene is a little strange, and begins to reveal a story/plot/whatever, but then stops and the whole scene just becomes a collection of funny scenes. Although I find these scenes funny, I think maybe you should have spread them out to other parts of the book. The story looses its progression and the focus is more on the comic things. You could for instance the toilet scene, it could have been placed anywhere in the story really (if they ever return to the inn/tavern/whatever again, that is). AND I believe that the comic scenes would be better if they were more spaced. Gives the reader time to ponder.
Overall, as I said, I liked the story, and would like to read more of it if it was posted.
Hope the feedback helps!

--------------------------------------------------------
If you would like, you could check out my stories:
URL=http://www.sffworld.com/authors/fiction/u.html]OgreWolf's Shortstories[/URL]
Håkon Ulvestad is me.
WARNING: they are not comedies.
Promise of Lions is a Prologue, so you know.
Don't know if they are any good either.
Anyway...

(hmm, was a bit much advertising maybe?? (Naah).

 

[Morgan]

Hey Ogrewolf, cheers for the info...

I've been so close to this for 4 years now that it's nice to get a someone else's perspective on the opening scene - (I will just add that the beginning has been changed so that you're not thrown straight into the inn scene but brought gradually into the town of Slagholm.)

With regards to the plot - The direction of plot of the book hasn't been fully shown in the opening chapter - (Arin and the Orb) - but a crucial plot for the entire trilogy has (Morgan and the missing Earl's Niece) has. Other sub threads are hinted at (like Limpit short of Money) as a bit of a tease - I quite liked the idea of mis-direction at the beginning so it prepares the reader for anything.

Also the toilet scene could have been added anywhere - but I wanted something hideous and disgusting from the outset and superfluous to the plot so the reader is in no doubt that this isn't a regular fantasy world. But again, there's no reason why it couldn't appear later.

I hadn't thought about the spacing of the jokes, (I was seeing this as more of a sit-com where the jokes need to come thick and fast - rather than the slower pace of reading) - so I'll think on that point some more.

Your feedback was more than helpful!

Once I've finished chapters 42 and 43 (Thus finishing the story) - I'll go back and re-look at the opening scenes - cheers! Morgan.

And of course I'll happily read your work in return! (Be a pleasure- though I won't be able to read it until next week as I'm off after today) - M.