Warzoo
Registered User
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 71
Hi, I orginally wrote this story for the 150 words exactly competition that someone posted here earlier. Anyway, I wanted to take a break from writing my novel so I decided to expand on it. I think I might write a short story about it if there is interest.
Klargon the Terrible
“I’ve killed 28 men!” Klargon said as he slammed his fist on the table
“So?” The friar said, adjusting his position on the crude bench.
Klargon flattened his hand onto the table. “You see that hand there?” he said, looking the friar in the eye. “That’s my third one.”
The friar looked over the table at Klargon’s hand “That’s very… interesting” he said.
“AhhhAhaha!” Klargon laughed. “Yes it is! Now, do you see that scar?”
The friar leaned forward and examined the hand more closely. A jagged white line ran from his wrist, reaching down to his middle finger.
“I cut that scar!” Klargon yelled. “Don’t you recognize it!!”
“Eh?” The friar said.
Suddenly, Klargon reached with his free hand and slammed the Friar’s head down onto his scar. The friar’s head, along with Klargon’s hand exploded into a sickening mess.
“29!” Klargon shouted as chunks of bone and flesh flew in every direction. Standing up, Klargon held out his bloody stump for all the other monks to behold, “Do you see this?!?” A multitude of brown robed monks watched him in horror, unable to understand what had just occurred.
Calmly Klargon began his walk to the door, winding his way through the many tables and chairs that were distributed throughout the meeting hall. Not a single monk stirred from their chair, either too confused or too frightened to do anything about the assassination that had just occurred before them. In the hallway, more monks were already making their way to the sound of the explosion, it was there that they caught sight of the mighty Klargon, walking intently and without concern. At seven feet tall and possessing a horridly disfigured face he was a fearful sight, the addition of a bloody stump made him terrifying.
“Stop brother! You need help!” An older monk said as he watched Klargon stroll innocently by.
Taking no notice, Klargon continued his intentful walk to the exit. His method of execution had caused great panic and confusion among these more or less, peaceful fanatics, it was a tactic he commonly used. Moving outside the temple, Klargon made his way to the main gate. A trail of blood stained the beautiful cobblestone path, from behind him he could sense many eyes watching, he was sure that they were strained eyes, wide and livid with shock.
“What in the name of Tarsos happened?!?” A monk asked as Klargon moved towards him. He was a guard, one of many who patrolled the gate. They were also the only monks who possessed weapons of any kind, their task was to keep the unwanted away from the temple grounds, they did not however have any such mandate to keep the unwanted inside.
Ignoring the monk and his holstered blast pistol, Klargon continued his strange walk to the transport station outside the gate. Behind him he could hear many questions being asked, yet all of the voices he heard contained the weak tone of confusion. The events that had transpired were too sudden and unexpected for any decisive action to be taken. As he neared the transport pad a sleek shuttle appeared from the crest of trees that surrounded the compound. Gracefully it flew into sight and touched down on the landing pad just as Klargon arrived. A door ramp opened to allow him entry, and without breaking his stride he went inside, the doors sealing behind him. As quickly as it came, the shuttle took off and disappeared leaving a gaggle of brown robed monks staring up in disbelief.
Klargon would receive 50,000 credits for a total of six standard months of work. The replacement of his arm being a minor inconvenience compared to such a princely sum. Besides, he was tiring of the arm anyway, wearing the severed body part of a hated enemy lost its charm once the enemy was dead.
Anyway, if I were to expand on it I would maybe tell a longer story about his next assasination and reveal/develop some backstory. I kinda like the character. Anyway, any opinions on the story, weather it is grammar/style/character etc are welcomed.
Regards,
Jon L
Klargon the Terrible
“I’ve killed 28 men!” Klargon said as he slammed his fist on the table
“So?” The friar said, adjusting his position on the crude bench.
Klargon flattened his hand onto the table. “You see that hand there?” he said, looking the friar in the eye. “That’s my third one.”
The friar looked over the table at Klargon’s hand “That’s very… interesting” he said.
“AhhhAhaha!” Klargon laughed. “Yes it is! Now, do you see that scar?”
The friar leaned forward and examined the hand more closely. A jagged white line ran from his wrist, reaching down to his middle finger.
“I cut that scar!” Klargon yelled. “Don’t you recognize it!!”
“Eh?” The friar said.
Suddenly, Klargon reached with his free hand and slammed the Friar’s head down onto his scar. The friar’s head, along with Klargon’s hand exploded into a sickening mess.
“29!” Klargon shouted as chunks of bone and flesh flew in every direction. Standing up, Klargon held out his bloody stump for all the other monks to behold, “Do you see this?!?” A multitude of brown robed monks watched him in horror, unable to understand what had just occurred.
Calmly Klargon began his walk to the door, winding his way through the many tables and chairs that were distributed throughout the meeting hall. Not a single monk stirred from their chair, either too confused or too frightened to do anything about the assassination that had just occurred before them. In the hallway, more monks were already making their way to the sound of the explosion, it was there that they caught sight of the mighty Klargon, walking intently and without concern. At seven feet tall and possessing a horridly disfigured face he was a fearful sight, the addition of a bloody stump made him terrifying.
“Stop brother! You need help!” An older monk said as he watched Klargon stroll innocently by.
Taking no notice, Klargon continued his intentful walk to the exit. His method of execution had caused great panic and confusion among these more or less, peaceful fanatics, it was a tactic he commonly used. Moving outside the temple, Klargon made his way to the main gate. A trail of blood stained the beautiful cobblestone path, from behind him he could sense many eyes watching, he was sure that they were strained eyes, wide and livid with shock.
“What in the name of Tarsos happened?!?” A monk asked as Klargon moved towards him. He was a guard, one of many who patrolled the gate. They were also the only monks who possessed weapons of any kind, their task was to keep the unwanted away from the temple grounds, they did not however have any such mandate to keep the unwanted inside.
Ignoring the monk and his holstered blast pistol, Klargon continued his strange walk to the transport station outside the gate. Behind him he could hear many questions being asked, yet all of the voices he heard contained the weak tone of confusion. The events that had transpired were too sudden and unexpected for any decisive action to be taken. As he neared the transport pad a sleek shuttle appeared from the crest of trees that surrounded the compound. Gracefully it flew into sight and touched down on the landing pad just as Klargon arrived. A door ramp opened to allow him entry, and without breaking his stride he went inside, the doors sealing behind him. As quickly as it came, the shuttle took off and disappeared leaving a gaggle of brown robed monks staring up in disbelief.
Klargon would receive 50,000 credits for a total of six standard months of work. The replacement of his arm being a minor inconvenience compared to such a princely sum. Besides, he was tiring of the arm anyway, wearing the severed body part of a hated enemy lost its charm once the enemy was dead.
Anyway, if I were to expand on it I would maybe tell a longer story about his next assasination and reveal/develop some backstory. I kinda like the character. Anyway, any opinions on the story, weather it is grammar/style/character etc are welcomed.
Regards,
Jon L
