Looking for feedback

[wolfie]

Ok...I did what you suggested and read the story without reading the interim posts.

I liked the story, the soft aching, longing feel of it, the sense of hope, for that's what I took from it. I did skim some of the posts in this thread but didn't go that deeply.

Technically, the constant need to explain who is speaking actually took more from the story than anything else. It was distracting to me. A thread I read earlier dealt with the use of "said" and I have to agree with the individual who said that it's a good word and to use it. Some of the alternatives that you chose sounded discordant to me, seemed not to fit the mood of the passage.

Aside from that...I really enjoyed it. It was...well, it had a nice sense of balance, I thought. And you do employ a nice sense of description without going overboard. Good job!

 

[John]

Thanks Wolfie,

Indeed I need to pay more attention to the way I handle dialogue. I will have to think about what I'm doing and get more practise.

Jon