The Top 5 Earth Invasion Methods from Movies
It’s a scenario that makes the perfect block buster: you’re at the office, or driving home with the kids, or even at the local watering hole when you hear an ear-shattering blast.
Entire buildings shake. Cars screech across asphalt and crash into each other. Even the wind rages away as if trying to escape the impending danger.
People flood into the streets and scream in horror at the sight of an intergalactic armada.
Whether they’ve come for our water, our brains, or our ramen noodles, they’ve brought technology far superior than our own, with intentions of kicking mankind’s sorry little butt.
And the technology used varies just as much as their anatomy.
They come in battleships. They come in meteors. Heck, they even come ridding bolts of lightning.
What’s the absolute best that I’ve seen?
Here’s my top 5 methods to invade Earth taken from Hollywood movies.
Note that these methods have nothing to do with the quality of the movie, just the sheer genius of the technique.
5. Brute Force: Independence Day
This is the default method of invasion, and it’s easy to see why.
If I’ve got hundreds of battleships capable of traversing galaxies, and all you got are airplanes and helicopters, then I’m going to simply burst through the ozone layer with absolute awesomeness.
We’ve seen this in countless movies, but by far Independence Day did it the best.
Huge cites in the shapes of massive metallic disks push aside the clouds and hover over the capital of every first world country, using Earth’s own satellites as a means of communicating a countdown to release the ultimate judgment: a super ultra plasma blast.
And anyone left standing is finished off with squadrons of advance fighters, complete with green projectiles.
It’s a classic plan.
4. Camouflage: Chicken Little
You’d think that an animation filled with talking, semi-naked animals wicked enough to actually give their children names like Fish Out of Water and Runt of the Litter would have concepts just as childish, but the invasion tactic used by the aliens in Chicken Little is just as serious as the sky falling.
You’re walking to the grocery admiring the beautiful day. The perfect weather makes it easy to get all your errands done. Suddenly, the very sky cracks and breaks apart and morphs into hundreds of battleships.
Unlike the brute force method, no one, not the random child with a telescope, not the military, not even the government’s billion-dollar sky monitoring program saw it coming.
The entire fleet just appears, making maximum use of the element of surprise. We never knew what hit us.
You could imagine the kind of panic that takes place at the sight, something that this animation does a very good job of demonstrating.
3. Already Here: War of the Worlds
If I were an alien flying by a planet filled with precious natural resources and populated by primates so primitive they don’t even know how to build a hyper drive (duh), what would I do?
That’s easy. Bury some giant robots underground and wait a couple thousand years, of course.
That way, you wouldn’t have to worry about where to park those damn battleships.
This is what happens in War of the Worlds, and it’s done with some great special effects.
A storm suddenly appears and with it comes bolts of lightning that repeatedly strike the same spot (and you thought it was impossible). Upon investigating, an earthquake shakes the ground, causing buildings to crumble and the street to cave in.
From out of the sinkhole a robot slowly rises till it towers over everything. A low-pitch horn echoes out, gas releases from a chamber, weapons swivel into position and it begins blasting everyone, leaving human ashes floating around like flakes of snow.
One word: damn.
2. Ultimate Brute Force: Chronicles of Riddick
This is similar to normal brute force, except taken to, you know, the ultimate level.
In Chronicles of Riddick, the battleships literally fall from the sky like meteors.
Everyone knows they’re coming, hearing rumors of conquerors from the Underverse that have been converting or destroying every planet they encounter. Everyone prepares for them, with weapons pointing to the sky and shelters ready to be occupied. The army even shoots at them on sight, launching a barrage of anti-aircraft missiles and ammunition.
But they come down with such force that nothing stops them.
They slam into the ground, releasing tons of dust and debris miles into the air, blocking out the light.
And when the surroundings are finally visible again, huge fortresses stand planted right in the middle of the city, already releasing hundreds of ground troops and supporting air forces.
Everything is conquered in moments.
1. Wormholes: Avengers / Transformers 3
Wormholes are shortcuts through spacetime, a fold in space that creates a “tunnel” from one location to another, no matter the distance or year.
While only theoretical, it has often been used in science fiction as an instant way to traverse galaxies, whether natural or artificial.
As an invasion tactic, aliens send one or a team of representatives to Earth where they establish a device that opens a wormhole, bridging our planet with theirs.
This combines the advantage of surprise from camouflage with the advantage of transport from being already here. By establishing a bridge, the alien army just steps from their world to ours, reducing intergalactic pit stops to nil.
We saw this recently in both Avengers and Transformers 3.
Sparks flash as a dark orb of nothing appears in the sky, wind drawing towards it. Slowly, it grows larger until it’s big enough to absorb an entire building. Machines of war then emerge, firing on everything they encounter.
Let’s hope the civilization that discovers how to create wormholes traverses the universe with intentions of peace.
So these are my top 5 picks for how to invade Earth. What’s yours? Let me know in the comments.
Bio
Jevon Knights is a fantasy writer and blogger who wants to entertain with amazing stories and enlighten with great content. He posts science fiction fantasy topics on his blog, Knights Writes, and invites you to download his collection of short stories “the Knights Scroll” for free.
That was funny. I’d have to say that my favorite is #2: Ultimate Brute Force. When one can plunk down entire cities…damn.
Thanks.
I also have to admit that, while I don’t think it’s the best, #2 is definitely my favorite.
I loved Independance Day. Let’s hope we can fight back like that if we have to. Unfortunately I don’t have government connections good enough to hide out at Area 51. Well written and really funny piece Jevon. 😀