The farm boy, sometimes orphaned, is always destined to save the world from the Dark Lord. Except in the book by superstar writers Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne titled Kill the Farm Boy. Worstley older brother, Bestley, was killed and he remains the lone son of the family. This leaves him a target to be marked as the Chosen One by a pixie named Staph who happens to be wearing just one sock. Like any Chosen One, Worstley sets out to save a princess, joined by his favorite farm-goat Gus. Oh by the way, it is Gustave, as the goat tells Worstley since Staph ensorcelled with the ability of speech. Out sets the hero on his quest, which of course goes off the rails.
Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told.
This is not that fairy tale.
There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.
And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.
There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed.
Unfortunately for Worstley, he has an accident just as his quest is beginning and he meets part of what will make up a truly Motley Crew of adventurers: a rogue named Poltro in employ to the “Dark Lord” Toby; a bard by the name of Argabella who happens to have the ears and tail of a rabbit; the inappropriately skimpily armored (i.e. chain mail bikini) Fia; the sand witch (say it fast) Grinda; and of course Gustave the talking Goat who is the most down-to-earth of this erstwhile Dungeons and Dragons adventuring party.
While these folks are on their quest to find Staph who “cursed” some of them, the characters come to vibrant life. While in form, these characters round out a typical fellowship, Dawson and Hearne do a fantastic job of giving each character their own voice. Even though they were part of a group, I still had a sense that the characters were the hero of their own story. The “Dark Lord” Toby is treated with more disdain by himself than the other characters, Fia is given the character weight required of the warrior she is; Argabella, despite being cursed with some rabbit features, is nonetheless afforded the well-rounded character space she needs to shine in all her glory. Even the sand witch Grinda is more than the spell-casting annoyance she first seems to be. In all, these characters are imbued with respect and humanity. There’s a budding romance between two of the female characters that is as heart-warming and genuine as any romance between characters of a larger party I’ve ever read.
Our heroes schlep through fairly familiar territory, dealing with curses, elves (who pun!), trolls, and arrogant kings. What made this less of a schlep and more of a good time for me was the lens through which Dawson and Hearne focused the story – modern sensibilities, engaging humor, fantastic characters, and a ripping yarn of a lot. The puns and social commentary through humor are obviously going to evoke the works of Terry Pratchett. I haven’t read too deeply in the late Sir Pratchett’s catalogue but there is a spiritual connection between his oeuvre and this book, as is there a kinship between this novel and The Princess Bride. The novel is filled with humor, much of which is in the form of puns. There are several instances of characters punning and engaging in word-play that felt very reminiscent of the scenes in The Princess Bride when Inigo and Fezzik are bantering to the annoyance of Vizzini. More recently readers who enjoyed Jon Hollins’s two The Dragon Lords books would find much to like here.
Some disclosure here: I am a fan of both of these writers and was lucky enough to meet both of them on separate occasions. Both Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne are fun, smart, and thoughtful writers and it was a joy to see them playing together so successfully and complementarily in one story under one cover.
Dawson and Hearne manage to effortlessly walk a line between loving homage to the tropes and tearing them down. It is a fun game to watch them play in this book and what is most pleasing is that more are on the horizon.
Strong recommendation
© 2018 Rob H. Bedford
Hardcover | 364 Pages
Del Rey Books, July 2018
Tales of Pell (https://www.talesofpell.com), Book 1
Delilah S. Dawson (https://www.whimsydark.com/) | Kevin Hearne (https://kevinhearne.com/)
Review copy courtesy of the publisher
