Critique: Beginning of an idea.

[Dawnstorm]

Way to go! It's a great feeling when things fall into place.

 

[Susan Boulton]

Way to go! It's a great feeling when things fall into place.

It does, though this morning I have been kicking myself. I have done tonnes of research for this, yet it suddenly hit me this morning that before 1945 Remembrance Day (11th Nov) wasn't called that. It was Armistice Day. I have read it in book after book, but it hadn't sunk in!! Bless word for the find and replace function.

Also a bit of back tracking (yes I said I wasn't going to do it, but never mind) I wanted to change the response of the Inspector to the information Hardy gives him. I want Hardy to believe Parker does not believe him, it sits better with the murders, and the upcoming final scenes... Besides, would you believe an old army friend who you know suffered from "shell shock", and is still suffering from it in many ways, when he starts on about "hands" ROFL!

You know when I have finished this story I am going to link this thread on my livejournal, it might be interesting to keep, then track the progress of the novel's submissions there, as I do with my other work.

 

[Susan Boulton]

Chapter Twenty-one, yes on that one lol...

This is solid in outline and half written. I need to finish it, maybe tomorrow, but today been thinking on the out line for the following four chapters.

Twenty-two will be pretty straight forward, fate of one character will be decided. Been a lot of internal debate about this, but fate is settled now...

Twenty-three four and five

Twenty-three will take the villan, from when he was last main POV, through his actions in chapter twenty-two and towards the final act. Now his actions will be shown from a different POV's in the following two chapters. This chapter (23)will take him to a certain point. Chapter twenty-four will take female lead from where she was last main POV, through the inter-action with main villian, and beyond the point where his chapter ended. Chapter twenty five will take the main male lead from when he was last main POV, through his inter-action in the end of the villian's chapter (23) through the end of the female lead's chapter (24) and then his chapter will bring about the final end of the story.

Now, would covering certain parts of the action from three different POV's in three following chapters be too much?? I won't go into great detail, each will see different things and the action will break off on each one and continue in the end of the following (does that make sense) I want to draw the three characters together, but the ending will be from the same POV as the beginning of the story and will be in away a mirror image of what happened then.

 

[KatG]

Now, would covering certain parts of the action from three different POV's in three following chapters be too much?? I won't go into great detail, each will see different things and the action will break off on each one and continue in the end of the following (does that make sense) I want to draw the three characters together, but the ending will be from the same POV as the beginning of the story and will be in away a mirror image of what happened then.

It depends on whether you want to do it that way or not. I know that you wanted to keep the number of pov characters limited in this story and it seems that you have done so. Without knowing the ins and outs of the chapters, I'm not sure whether I could say that it works or not to have the three, but having the spread of three perspectives would seem to me to give you the opportunity to close off plot threads, add last character details, and develop themes effectively along with the action.

If it's a pov per chapter, I can't imagine that it would seem choppy at all. Your tone/style for the story has it with a fragmentary edge to it, that will likely effect the mirror ending, so choppiness is probably not a big concern in any case. Do you feel you're violating your goal or are you relatively happy with your outline plan?

 

[Dazzlinkat]

Sounds like a tough but fun challenge. And, you seem to have it well-set in your mind so I think you can comfortably pull it off.

 

[Dawnstorm]

It's not too much. Since your writing tends to focus on character rather than action, I'm pretty confident you'll do a good job of it.

 

[Susan Boulton]

It depends on whether you want to do it that way or not. I know that you wanted to keep the number of pov characters limited in this story and it seems that you have done so. Without knowing the ins and outs of the chapters, I'm not sure whether I could say that it works or not to have the three, but having the spread of three perspectives would seem to me to give you the opportunity to close off plot threads, add last character details, and develop themes effectively along with the action.

If it's a pov per chapter, I can't imagine that it would seem choppy at all. Your tone/style for the story has it with a fragmentary edge to it, that will likely effect the mirror ending, so choppiness is probably not a big concern in any case. Do you feel you're violating your goal or are you relatively happy with your outline plan?

It is a POV per chapter, and yes, I am happy with my outline plan. I have gone over and over this during the last few weeks and it is the only way it is going to work. I have cut the amount of characters present at the end, hopefully closing off their part in the plot in a neat way.

I am just worried I might bore the reader with covering part of the same ground with each character. I suppose it is a case of write it and see.

Dawnstorm;

focus on character rather than action

A tight, narrow focus, yes it is my style. Is it right or wrong, I can't judge. I know my work is not the big, epic stories, concepts and backgrounds that are filling the book shelves these days. I narrow it down to the individual, maybe too much.

 

[KatG]

I am just worried I might bore the reader with covering part of the same ground with each character. I suppose it is a case of write it and see.

It won't bore the reader because it is offering different perspectives. If the reader finds those perspectives interesting throughout the whole novel, why would they not find them interesting in tandem? It's a narrative structure that might not work but might work brilliantly. I don't think the novel would work so well if it were all in Hardy's pov, for instance, so I for one would be eager to see how you set it up.

 

[Dawnstorm]

Is it right or wrong, I can't judge.

You don't have to. All you really have to do is write a story you're happy to put your name under. That's all that matters, really.

I know my work is not the big, epic stories, concepts and backgrounds that are filling the book shelves these days.

I think you're underestimating both your work and the market, here.

I narrow it down to the individual, maybe too much.

Not at all. My point was much like KatG's last post: if the emphasis is on the characters, repeating a plot element won't seem repetitive, because the things that matter are new.

Or in short: perspective is part of the story, and can be as important as, or more important than plot.

 

[KatG]

Oh yes, I forgot that part, where she thinks she's not writing for the market. How fully do we need to bang it into your head that the fantasy market is much wider than the cadre of epic war novels with which you are obsessed? Not that I don't like those sort of novels, just that they really aren't the only game in town.

Historical fantasy has now become an official sub-category of the market, and is gathering an army. The books in that army are not huge, epic tales with casts of thousands, although some of them do take place during wars, and most of them are pretty much suspense stories, as usual. I personally have given up trying to keep up with all the different novels coming out now. It's just impossible, especially when everybody's publishing all the authors from each other's countries. Which is pretty cool.

In any case, please stop trying to compare Hand to epic fantasy novels because you are not writing an epic fantasy novel. You are writing a historical fantasy thriller. Think Elizabeth George and All Quiet on the Western Front. Actually, you are more noir than those. Think Dashiell Hammett mixed with WWII movies. Have you read Tim Powers' Declare yet? Because that's sort of what you are doing, but in a different time period, etc.

 

[Susan Boulton]

Lol! I have had HE, RS now KatG thump me over the head for my negative mutterings. I shall go away and try and finish the (insert very rude word of choice here)book, and not moan again (well for a month maybe... )

 

[KatG]

You're allowed to moan, and you are allowed to doubt yourself. I'm just trying to counter your Inner Weasel who keeps telling you that approaches that work for you are a bad idea because George Martin doesn't use them. Oh wait, he does!

 

[Hereford Eye]

You are allowed to doubt yourself once every blue moon and no more. Get back to work!

 

[Susan Boulton]

Well, been battling the Inner Weasel all week. One more chapter written. One step closer. Hopefully the next one won't be so bad, bit more action to write in this, the last one was a lot of talk and will, I am sure, need a lot of work in the edit.

 

[Dazzlinkat]

I hate writing dialogue! Congrats on making it past that chapter.

 

[Susan Boulton]

Nothing written for well over a week, due to computer problems. At the moment it is behaving (though I going to be saving my manuscript to my flash drive today, just in case) I have cleared the decks, so hopefully will get most of the day on the machine. I need to get as much done on this first draft as I can this week.

Four chapters to write that is all. I am averaging about 3,000 to 4,000 words per chapter. That's 12,000 to 16,000 words to write. Not much if you say it fast. I have two chapters fairly solid in outline and in my head, the other two are brewing. So it should be easy (Ha! who am I kidding!)

I have no excuses, no research that needs to be done now, just need to write.

 

[Dazzlinkat]

super glue your pants to your computer chair ... works wonders for getting writing done, hehe

 

[Susan Boulton]

Chapter Twenty-two done. 86,000 words. Three chapters to do till the end of this first draft.

Computer slowly dying. I am managing roughly a page before it freezes up and it has to be rebooted. Major meltdown coming I fear.

Will transfer the work to the other half's lap top and finish it there. Approx 9,000 to 12,000 words to do now. Will most likely take me three weeks if I am lucky (with work and other commitments) Still, hope to start editing it in September. submitting most likely the beginning of November, or maybe leaving it to January, next

I am proud of this work. The idea has been with me for a long time and now it is nearly done.

 

[Dazzlinkat]

Congrats on fighting along with your melting computer! Hope you get everything done as planned. You got an eye on a new super-computer?

YAYYYY! This work is leaving you with a warm fuzzy feeling

 

[KatG]

Well you should be proud. Thanks for letting me know your schedule. Good luck with the computer stuff.