What's the worst fantasy novel ever IYO?

LOTR's is by far the worst trilogy

I will always be biased when it comes to LotR, because it was the first High Fantasy novel i read, so it shaped my views of fantasy and i will inevitably compare every other fantasy i read to it. Yes, sometimes it is slow, but i've found interesting and captivating enough to read it around 7 times :D. The worst fantasy i've ever read i didn't actualy finish, it was "Ill-made mute" By Ceilia Dart-Thorton, the language was so flowery and.... ergh, i can't describe it. I found it so confusing, that for the first 10 paged i had no idea what was going on. I gave up after the first chapter, i not a very patient person and i don't see the point with suffering through a book i can't stand. But that in itself is a good thing, because by never finishing books i hate, means that all the books i read the whole way through, which subsequently stick in my memory, i enjoy. So, i find it hard to find any book that i completely hate (except for Ill-made mute, which was my most recent diaster).
 
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If the LOTR is the worst trilogy around, epic fantasy can't be in such bad shape. But I guess ficusfan is just enjoying shocking the Tolkienophiles. I'm not uncritical of the LOTR, by any means, and nothing is beyond question; but Tolkien can write a sentence in good narrative English, which is more than can be said for some people.

With you on the Ill-Made Mute, Gemini; it gets my vote as one of the worst books I've read. I read it all the way to the end in a kind of masochistic daze of wonder... I mean, there's flowery prose styles, but man, this was a jungle. I didn't know what was going on, either.

I looked up Robert Stanek's fulsome praises on Amazon, out of curiosity. They are rather strangely similar. I guess the reader review function on amazon is open to abuse, but you'd think Amazon would exercise some kind of control when it gets that flagrant.
 
Two novels that stick in the mind as terrible were The Isle of the Dead by Julia Gray and Dragon something by Melinie Rawn.
 
FicusFan said:
Absolutely agree, just badly written and boringingly choked with narrative.

Man do I feel a whole lot better about our recent discussions if I use that as a benchmark lol! ;)
 
David Drake's Lord of the Isles are easily the worst fantasy books I've ever read.

Robert Jordan's "Crossroads of Twilight" deserves special mention, though, because it's the only fantasy book I found myself visibly angry after finishing. After limping along through books 6, 7, and 8, the WoT plot actually picks up substantially in "Winter's Heat" (book 9), and for a few months, I found myself looking forward to a WoT book for the first time in years... then along comes Crossroads, which makes even the slowest, most plodding points before it in the series look action-packed. I only barely resisted the urge to throw the book through a window.
 
juzzza said:
Man do I feel a whole lot better about our recent discussions if I use that as a benchmark lol! ;)

Perhaps not. Maybe I am deranged hahahahahahahahahah :eek: :D and you are in a worse spot than you thought ?

This ray of sunshine brought to you by philistines everywhere :)
 
Lord of the Isles, meandering rubbish....I collapsed nullified half way through. Dreadful writing, improbable motivations.
 
Ramz said:
LOTR's is by far the worst trilogy

Thats telling 'em! It is written by a smart ass knowitall who obviously thought far to long and hard about each and every sentence and just wanted to pound his ungreatful high falutin stupid intelligence into all of us when all we really want is just a bit of kickass violence and sex. Oh and its full of morals too which really makes me sick. And what about all them refences to these guys and places that arent even there, huh? And the rhyming - jeez!

(Sorry - couldn't resist! Actually the worst fantasy I can think of at the moment is Mark Anthony's Beyond The Pale. But that isn't because of bad writing as such, but rather totally shameless derivation.)
 
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Julian said:
Thats telling 'em! It is written by a smart ass knowitall who obviously thought far to long and hard about each and every sentence and just wanted to pound his ungreatful high falutin stupid intelligence into all of us when all we really want is just a bit of kickass violence and sex. Oh and its full of morals too which really makes me sick. And what about all them refences to these guys and places that arent even there, huh? And the rhyming - jeez!

(Sorry - couldn't resist! Actually the worst fantasy I can think of at the moment is Mark Anthony's Beyond The Pale. But that isn't because of bad writing as such, but rather totally shameless derivation.)


I actually enjoyed Beyond The Pale . It wasn't earth shattering, but I don't think that it was by far the worst in fantasy,either.
 
Priestvyrce said:
I actually enjoyed Beyond The Pale . It wasn't earth shattering, but I don't think that it was by far the worst in fantasy,either.

Well, you'll have to admit, original it ain't.

In fact, the book basically amounts to an amalgamation of the ideas and styles of other authors. Take, for example, one of the book's main characters, Travis. He's a man sick at heart who's thrown into another world, learns he has great powers there, but does not wish to use them. Sound familiar? Sure, it's Covenant, from the Stephen Donaldson series.

Then there's Melia, some sort of sorceress, who talks exactly like Polgara (from David Edding's Belgariad series). Also, we are presented by Gandalf in the form of Falken, a travelling bard. Falken delivers a speech at a council of rulers somewhere halfway through the book that reads so much like sections from LoTR's Pelennor Fields that it takes your breath away. At this point, Anthony simply steals sentences from Tolkien. Compare Anthony's "Elsara, Empress of Tarras, had come at last" to Tolkien's "Rohan had come at last". Oh, and remember Tolkien's Eowyn, facing the Nazgul king? And the Nazgul saying: "Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!" - to which Eowyn replies: "But no living man am I! You look upon a woman." Remember? Well, here is Anthony's version: "None can stand before me", spoke the icy king. "Then kneeling I shall strike you!", Ulthor cried.

All this is, frankly, such unabashed derivation that it leaves one a little - well, giggly, I guess.

So - is Beyond The Pale really the world's worst fantasy? Well, perhaps not. There are good things about it as well: after all, it's well-paced, reads easily and, whichever way you look at it, it's sorta fun. And I'm sure Anthony knew what he was doing and perhaps just got carried away by wishing to emulate his forebears. Besides: the sixth (or so) volume in the series has now been published, and it may well have developed into something little more arresting.

But it's pretty bad nonetheless :eek: !
 
J V Jones' The Bakers Boy. Five hundred pages of words, about fifty pages of plot. All I can say is that the editor should be shot. It did make a good fire starter, though. ;)
 
I probably said this elsewhere but Ian Irvine's Geomancer drove me nuts. Its the only book I have never finished and I gave it to my nephew as drawing paper. He's three years old and he made a bloody better job in writing over it!
 
butterfly said:
I probably said this elsewhere but Ian Irvine's Geomancer drove me nuts. Its the only book I have never finished and I gave it to my nephew as drawing paper. He's three years old and he made a bloody better job in writing over it!


I know how you feel.

I wonder what possessed Ian Irvine to make him think he could write well.
 
I must say, it is nice to find a forum whos topics arn't filled with posts such as "This book sux like totaly man!!! Its got 2 B the wurst book ever!!!"

Like, that really helps me, man. ;)
 
Ian Irvine's Geomancer

I didn't got too far with this one, it was simply bad. I vaquely remember the setting being a bit of a rip-off of the Iron Dragon's Daughter.

but, for anyone still considering whether to try it, this says it all:

SFX, December 2002
'A page-turner of the highest order … Irvine can now consider himself comfortably ranked next to the works of Robert Jordan and David Eddings. Formidable'
 
Jirel of Joiry said:
I must say, it is nice to find a forum whos topics arn't filled with posts such as "This book sux like totaly man!!! Its got 2 B the wurst book ever!!!"

Like, that really helps me, man. ;)

Welcome!

Jirel is pretty cool ;) Good choice!!
 
LOTR's is by far the worst trilogy

It was only a matter of time before someone typed that...

I myself did not enjoy reading the series (Halfway through The Two Towers I just flipped to the back and read all about Tolkien's world. Found it slightly more interesting than the actual book.) But I don't like a lot of books that others love (Anything by Erikson, for example).

Personally, I've been lucky. Most of the fantasy books I've read are pretty good, and the only one's I'm not interested in have been bought by others.
 
Sir Apropos of Nothing, by Peter David.

I like comic fantasy and I am always happy to try a new series, but I guess that sometimes you just strike out. I didn't like Sir Apropos because I kept feeling that I was being beatin over the head with the lead's anti-anti hero status.There is only so much a person can take. The book may have goten better but I droped it in the middle. More time to read Pratchett :D

And thanks Julian, your're cool too.
:p
 

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