What's the worst fantasy novel ever IYO?

This is an enjoyable thread--I'm surprised it hasn't been resuscitated in three years, so I'll do the honors. I won't call these "the worse ever", but they are certainly books I disliked, almost all of which I didn't get very far into.

HERESY - Anselm Audley (there is a reason most authors aren't published until after they can buy liquor)
ELDER STAVES - Steve Oliverez (vanity press = embarassingly unedited)
THE LEGACY - R.A. Salvatore (too many masturbatory combat scenes on how uber-kewl Drizzt is)
SPELLFIRE - Ed Greenwood (just kinda silly and boring; having read this almost two decades ago, my only vague memories are of Elminster in bed with the Simbul, after having cast Viaggra's Mighty Phallus)
VELLUM - Hal Duncan (despite the well-wrought prose, the book is pretentious and inarticulate; too self-consciously "literary")
 
Alchemist said:
This is an enjoyable thread--I'm surprised it hasn't been resuscitated in three years
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The I-Put-It-Down-And-Wanted-To-Burn-It Thread provides a more recent insight in books people apparently do not enjoy overmuch :)

Thanks to forums like these i rarely pick up a really dreadful book nowadays, but as to the question 'worst fantasy novel ever'...hmm...first one(s) that come to mind are the Tamuli books (Eddings). Jordan-like character description and interaction led me to never pick up another Eddings..
 
Robin Hobb's assassins apprentice. as soon as they started killing puppies (like page 3) I put it down and said "No thank you"
 
oh and also David Eddings God whatever series. man that was awful. what happened David??? what happened.....
 
I've read plenty of rubbish fantasy novels in my time (Bitterwood, The One Kingdom, Stormcaller, any Terry Goodkind novel) but I think probably the worst novel of all was Krondor: The Betrayal by Ray Feist.

How the author that wrote the classic Magician could turn out a book as dreadful as Krondor is just beyond me. I know he was going through some serious difficulties in his personal life, but it doesn't excuse what is a woeful book. Nor does the fact that the story started as a video game.

If would-be writers wanted an example of how not to write a fantasy novel, then look no further than Krondor. For a start, there's no plot. The protagonists wander from town to town on a hopelessly linear storyline that goes nowhere. To make matters worse, there's not one interesting character in this novel, and little in the way of character development.

This book redefines the word 'dull.'
 
In general I don't hate on self-published fantasy novels, because it's like beating up a retarded five-year-old for spilling milk on your shoes* -- you're just a jerk if you wail on someone that utterly helpless, and also it's a waste of time because they're never going to understand why you're doing it -- but I will make an exception for Robert Stankey. I mean "Stanek."

The whole Keeper Martin's Tale phenomenon is unbelievable. I think the guy has to have mental health issues; it's the only explanation for how he created entire "fan forums" populated by sock puppets and wrote 500+ fake Amazon reviews for himself. Some crazies collect their poop in jars, Stanek posts his on Amazon.

No, I have not read the books; no, I'm not going to. I haven't even read the free excerpts on Amazon because I still need my eyes, thanks, and I'll be out of a job if they spontaneously combust in their sockets.


(* -- It's completely different if a self-published "author" asks you to comment on his or her work. In that case you can and should be brutally honest, even if it's only to say "like every agent, editor and publisher who looked at it -- and probably your fourth-grade English teacher too -- I have only one thing to say: FAIL." It's okay, you can make them cry when they ask for it.)
 
JHerzog01 said:
Robin Hobb's assassins apprentice. as soon as they started killing puppies (like page 3) I put it down and said "No thank you"
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You need to keep reading. If the killing of puppies was all that turned you off then if you read to the end of book one you may find yourself pleasantly surprised. That's all I'm gonna say before I spoil things.

However, if there were other things that turned you off, don't bother. But in my opinion this is one very special fantasy series that I greatly enjoyed reading.
 
I doubt I have a viable "worst* to mention, since I'm usually warned off bad fiction before I get into it. And if I don't get the word I smell it myself, since paragraph-by-paragraph style makes or breaks a book for me.

I have to say, however--at the risk of offending many fans--I thought The Mists of Avalon was a real bummer. Such mushy, repetitive, underthought writing. I think that the feminist message charmed the socks off the susceptible. That was a cult with legs, though; still strong, though Ms. Bradley has passed on. (Hmm... wonder whether there was a samite-clothed arm holding a sword.)
 
Hands down The Naked Empire by Terry Goodkind. Just awful...

The series was going down already, but for the love of everything that I hold sacred, it was bad.

I'm not sure it's the worst ever, but it's the worst I have ever read. Needless to say I didn't continue to read the series and now I cringe every time I see a book from Goodkind.
 
I MUST stop reading threads like this. I mean, some of these books are bad sure, but ...

Takoren Wrote, re Hobb's Assassin's Apprentice:
You need to keep reading. If the killing of puppies was all that turned you off then if you read to the end of book one you may find yourself pleasantly
surprised. That's all I'm gonna say before I spoil things.

However, if there were other things that turned you off, don't bother. But in my opinion this is one very special fantasy series that I greatly enjoyed
reading.

Listen to this wise man. As he says, if it was the slow pace, the unending spiral of despair, or something else that turned you off, to each their own and that's perfectly understandable. But, if its just the puppy thing, ... I'd keep going. For my money Hobb's Farseer Trilogy is a truly special story, some of the most contemplative and character driven medieval fantasy I've read. And ... trust in the power of the pooch. I have said too much already.

I really don't enjoy bashing books, and I'm not sure I've ever read a book to which I would presume to apply the dark name of "worst ever". That said, David Bilsborough's The Wanderer's Tale is pretty bad, its clunky writing, flat characters, and obvious self-satisfaction, [which only becomes worse when you read the interviews], elevating it to a degree of suckitude which I must say I have rarely beheld. The book provides lamentable evidence for one of the very simplest arguments as to why quest fantasy isn't in the ascendant just now, and why publishers don't seem to be printing as many of them as in days of yore: they can't find any good ones.
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SUZUKI GSX250FX
 
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For me it's the The Sword of Shannara. I was stuck in hospital with appendicitis and this is all i had to read. Anything by Terry Brooks is pretty bad IMHO.
 
Alchemist Wrote:
SPELLFIRE - Ed Greenwood (just kinda silly and boring; having read this almost two decades ago, my only vague memories are of Elminster in bed with the Simbul, after having cast Viaggra's Mighty Phallus]

I shall step into this thread once more and say that in some ways I find Ed Greenwood to be a puzzle. I play Dungeons & Dragons, and have read quite a bit of the material he has written for the game, [all of it world-building and character information for the Forgotten Realms, the setting he created and in which his novels also take place.] I have also read a lot of his on-line commentary on the setting, including a lot of info on characters like Elminster and The Simbul. Going by these sources the man is a genius: a marvellous builder of traditional fantasy worlds who really pays loving attention to the minute details of his creation. His is the best RPG material I've ever read, ever, by miles. And these characters? Elminster and his gang who often seem so flat and overpowered and sex-obsessed in the novels? They aren't. He explains them in ways that make real sense, and turns them into dynamic personalities that are easy to like.

And then you try to read one of the novels ... and they are horrible. Truly bad. Spellfire, as Alchemist says, is a silly, fragmented mess with far too much going on, virtually no character development, and little discernible in the way of an engaging plot. And they do not get better. In fact they get worse. He showed some signs of a slight improvement earlier in the 2000s, the high point of which was a collaboration with Elaine Cunningham, who is the rather unappreciated, [relative to Salvatore, who used to be enjoyable but is now collecting pay-cheques but still sells reams and reams], best author ever to work in the Forgotten Realms, followed imo by Paul Kemp. However, he has now slumped back into awfulness quite completely. I just don't get it. I mean, I could see novel writing not being a forte. World-building and novel-writing are not the same thing. But to screw up a world and characters he knows so well, so completely, ... maybe its his editors making him include all the nonstop silly action and immature sex, to appeal to Wizards of the Coast's covetted thirteen-year-old boy audience. I mean, he still wouldn't be good, but people might not get the wrong impression of the world and characters so much if his editors would get him to ease off on these elements.

Momentarily back on topic: I shall submit Ed Greenwood's Elminster in Hell, as something that could give The Wanderer's Tale a serious run for its money, from its title to its horrible interior.

Whilst in another thread the other day, I remembered another stinker: It pains me to say this, as I enjoyed his early work and I recognize that his glory days are behind him, but The Dreamers series by David Eddings, coauthored with his wife. Here the Eddings's manage to be derivative, not of anyone else, but of themselves, spitting back up their own style and dialogue, as well as some characters from previous series in a purile mash that has lost all its joy and zest for life. A truly horrible series.
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VAAAPP
 
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I'm going to mention a five-book series as the worst cause I just can't pin down which one was the worst since they're all equally bad. The Cleric Quintet by R.A. Salvatore is the absolute worst thing I ever read. I've mentioned this several times already in other threads but it's worth mentioning here.

First of all, the bad guys have the kind of evil you find in comic books published in the 1960s. I know bad guys who are evil because they are evil are a staple in fantasy novels and sometimes that's ok, but there's a huge difference between smirking as the man you framed is led to the gallows and cackling with glee as you burn down the orphanage.

Second of all, the character is waaaaay to whiny. I like some of Salvatore's other work, but he writes the literary version of a hi-octane action film. That style is great when the main character is badass dark-elf who duel wields scimitars. Cadderly, however, finds it way too difficult to justify killing a man who's trying to kill him and everyone he loves. AND, his main weapons throughout the series is an enchanted walking stick and "spindle-disks" which I'm pretty sure is a yo-yo by the way it's described. The Cleric Quintet are the kind of books where a small team of heroes fights off dozens of baddies with barely a scratch on them at the end of the fight. And I'm ok with that, but please give your main character a better weapon than a f***ing yo-yo!

Lastly, the characters are annoying in general. Especially the damn dwarves. And I have a personal bias towards dwarves so messing up dwarven characters to the point that I hate them means you'd have to be trying to make them unlikeable on purpose. Yet he wasn't.
 
I actually liked the stormcaller as it required the reader to think and we were always a little behind the protagonists.
I also unlike others liked the book for the fact we never really know the extent of Kastan Styrax's powers untill the 3rd quater of the second book, this is different to other Fantasy novels that spoon feeds there readers information on the antagonists.
 
(Irrelevant, I took care of your double-post.)

I don't know if I consider my self a "Martinista," but I must say that's a surprising pick for WORST fantasy. I was spellbound with the first chapter, myself.

My "worst" pick would be Sword of Shannara. It's been years since I tried it, but I remember I couldn't get through it. I know some people love those books, but the one I tried didn't hold my interest.
 
I don't know what the worst ever is, but the worst I've ever read was:

The Sword of Maiden's Tears by Rosemary Edghill

I read it many years ago. Terrible, terrible first book in a series that I don't think she ever finished. I later discovered that Rosemary Edghill was a psuedonym for romance novelist who had switched to SF/fantasy. Nothing wrong with that if they can pull it off...she did NOT. Ugh.
 
Radone said:
Oh, Mage. Really? Now, you've gone and done it. Better run, kid. Here come the Martinistas to burn the heretic...
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I know, I'm back for more, as if I haven't caused enough havoc in other threads.

Seriously though I was just throwing the out there. Everyone take not of the IMO.


It's not really the worst, but I'm scaling it compared to its hype. The worst ... hmm, from what I've read I'd say Forsaken House by Richard Baker. It's a Forgotten Realms novel, and ... well, let's just say it reads like a game. Bad, bad writing.

Oh, and Myrren's Gift. Gag.
 
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Lady Envy said:
For me it's the The Sword of Shannara. I was stuck in hospital with appendicitis and this is all i had to read. Anything by Terry Brooks is pretty bad IMHO.
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I'm about 10 pages from the end; my considered opinion is that it starts a bit clumsily, picks up quite nicely from about chapter 15, and then has a slightly eye-glazing climax of endless battle manoeuvres and proto-fascist bloodline obsessions. i'm sure some people really go for the tactical details but I personally find the threat or spectre of war more exciting than the minutiae of troop movements.

Also, is it me or is there literally only one female character in the entire book? I mean, including incidental characters and all? Sausagefest of Shannara more like, lolololololol
 
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