Just watched The Golden Compass (It's called Northern Lights, damnit!), and... Yeah, it was a load of balls. Complete snowballs. Nothing funny about it, nothing compelling, a plot that had more holes and missing parts than edam cheese and just nothing that good about it.
The kid who played Lyra's friend creeped the hell out of me, it had that annoying twerp whose name I forgot (He's in the first Nanny McPhee film, Love Actually and he had an appearance in Doctor Who), the accents were horrifying, and not to mention there was no real... I dunno, it felt fake. Dakota could be a good actress (Not seen anything else with her in), but she was seemingly older than most of the younger cast members and stood out like a sore thumb - She was taller, she acted way too maturely for her age (Which really just... didn't gel) and I just thought that whilst she could have been great, the way her role was mutilated just ruined it all.
I was watching it thinking "I don't remember that in the book", "I don't remember that in the book" and just with a nonplussed expression. Oh, and for all they tried to be nice and gentle with it, they went and ballsed it up by having one polar bear punch another in the jaw so hard that the jaw flew off, and then he killed him. What? Seriously, What? How on Earth did it fit in with the rest of the film?
It was only worth it for Eva Green's witch (Yummers) and for Jack Shepard, Ian McKellen, Derek Jacobi and Christopher Lee, all of whom went to complete waste considering their talent and experience.
Sigh. Avoid at all costs, because it's just a load of droppings. The redeeming features can't save it at all. Spend your money on the book instead; It'll last longer.
