Internet Friendships....

[Susan Boulton]

1. What do you think of them?

2. How long have you "talked" to people I mean in years, not online in one session *g*

3. How deep has your friendship gone?

4. Have you ever met anyone you have spoken to online in the flesh?

My answers.


1. They can be enlightening and fun, but they can snare you into situations you would not place yourself in, in normal life. You need to be a bit more careful I think on line than in real life.

2. I have internet friends going back 5 years, most are casual only a couple are quite close.

3. Only a couple of times deep enough to call "real" friends. My editor M., Jacquin and S., a sparring partner from another forum. Others more casual and light hearted mates.

4. Yes a number of them, though most at Seminars of a historical nature. First grinned at Jacquin over a 500 hundred year old maile shirt in a draughty tent in Ludlow.

 

[Pantalimon]

1. What do you think of them?
I don't see why they can't be just as strong as real life freinds, but you'd have to have a lot of mailing and posting to equal many of my good freinds in the real world.

2. How long have you "talked" to people I mean in years, not online in one session *g*
No years at all, normally I'm a bit of a nomad even though I have been online for years. I setteled on a few forums so we'll see

3. How deep has your friendship gone?
So far it just been nice to see some posts from certain people and chat with them via posts or email in a way I would do with some real lifers. Some people I feel very comfortable chatting with. The people I consider as freinds on the net offer me a different perspective on my life that my real life freinds could not offer me.

4. Have you ever met anyone you have spoken to online in the flesh?
No

 

[e-Morgana]

1. This is a subject close to my heart, which I've discussed at nauseum with a few people in my time. I think my opinion on this subject, is a little different to most people out there and I find that a lot of folk (especially in real life) can't understand how I can feel so close to people I've never 'met'.

I personally think that a cyber friendship is just as valid as a RL friendship and I place as much importance on some of them, as I would a friend in real life. I admit that it may take longer to develop this friendship. But over time, if you talk to someone often enough and learn how they respond in situations and react to events, you can get to know them very well.

Sometimes the unpredictable can happen, sometimes you may misjudge people or they may misjudge you; sometimes words can be misinterpretted and difficulties can arise. But I think overall, I tend to put a lot of faith in my own abilities to judge people's characters, and it hasn't led me astray too often. I have had the odd nasty experience but the positives FAR outweigh the negatives.

2. My longest relationships (with Cadfael and Shehzad) would be about 18months to 2 years.

3. I tend not to chat 'casually' very often. I usually only get involved with the whole chat thing once I have established some kind of rapport with a person on the boards first. Also occasionally when others are introduced by a mutual friend.

I have a few people who I consider extremely good friends - especially Cadfael, Sammie and Shehzad. Cadfael especially has helped me through a very, very tough year - and has the soggy cyber-shoulder to prove it.

4. No I haven't met any of them. But if ever I'm in England, I know where I'd be making a bee-line for - Wigan and London.

Sorry about the rambling, but like I said at the start, it is a subject I tend to rant about.

 

[kater]

1.) Interesting but I'm an out and about person so whilst interacting on places like this is fun I still think RL relationships to be much more important. Although I think by meeting people on here first, if you then meet them in real life you are far more prepared to accept them for who they are rather than by physical appearance.

2.) Almost 3 years(I think) with some guys off a site called Gemmellmania, one of who is here under the alias Loque.

3.)Ummmm thats a tough one, we talk about our lives and the deeper issues but not all that regularaly, at least not recently anyways.

4.)Yes but they were friends of a friend and so it was kinda inevitable that way, I haven't gone out of my way to see people of forums if thats what you mean.

 

[Eldanuumea]

This subject is close to my heart also. I have been online for a bit less than a year, and on forums only since late spring.
I have found a circle of friends through one particular forum, the one I think of as my "home" on the net, that are as close to me and dear to me as any friends in the flesh could possibly be.
And I have a larger circle of good friends that I chat with and email on a regular basis.
I have spoken on the phone with one of my forum pals, and it was a tremendously meaningful experience. I wish I could speak with more of them in this way.
There are no words to express how much my little net circle means in my life. My days are made warmwer and brighter by their presence, and I receive much needed affirmation and warmth from them. The word "love" is not too strong for the way I feel about several of them.
My husband does not consider such friends "real," but I do. And I treasure them.

Ha! I just noticed I am suddenly dubbed a "senior" member! Not bad for less than a week!! lol It just is a sign that I am beginning to like it here quite a lot!

 

[e-Morgana]

Originally posted by Eldanuumea
My husband does not consider such friends "real," but I do. And I treasure them.

See what I mean about similar ideas, Elda - are you sure we are not the same person??

 

[Eldanuumea]

Perhaps we are sisters in another life........perhaps my circle of beloved net-friends is about to expand........

:::::thinks of the men and women she's grown to love dearly since April and has a sense of wonder that there is more to come:::::

 

[Radthorne]

My perspective may be a little different, since it's only been recently that I started participating in a "fun" capacity. When I first signed up at SFFWorld, my only experience was with the board at iUniverse, which was defintely not a "fun" board - it was all practical stuff on publishing matters. So my first interest in SFFWorld was as an extension of that, and I just hung around the Fantasy and Writing forums. However, everyone seemed to be having such a good time here that I just couldn't resist getting involved in non-serious stuff too... and while not in the spam-leading league as some of the regulars, I do try to check in every day and post if I have something either fun or worthwhile to say.

1. What do you think of them?
I think they can be very meaningful, and have the capability to be as strong as any other type of friendship. Perhaps it's useful to think of them in terms of the old "penpal" concept, updated for the modern day and age. People who used to write to one another but had never met could have very strong feelings for one another, and I see that happening here too. I agree that one must use good judgment, since body language is absent from the equation. Overall, it seems that folks on this board behave quite well. I can see a lot of evidence of strong relationships.

2. How long have you "talked" to people I mean in years, not online in one session *g*
I'm not in the "major league" group of folks like e-M and Cad, just a bit player; so I'm not sure I've really "talked" at any length with anyone. I would like to become friends with some more folks, and hope that will come about in its natural course.

3. How deep has your friendship gone?
Not very, yet. Good things can always happen! Although we haven't had a great deal of one-on-one "conversations" as yet, I think the person I feel the most affinity for here is e-M. She's both level-headed and fun, and of all the folks here the one I'd probably most like to meet. (Hmm, Australia; long way from the States... Well, we'll work on that...)

4. Have you ever met anyone you have spoken to online in the flesh?
No. There are at least two SFFWorld members who live not far from me, and I've offered up the possibility of lunch, but have not had any takers as yet. (Note to e-M: may I offer you a "virtual" lunch? Can you suggest a good cafe in cyberspace?)

 

[Kirby]

1. What do you think of them?
Oh, terribly untrustworthy.

2. How long have you "talked" to people I mean in years, not online in one session *g*
About three years.

3. How deep has your friendship gone?
Deeper than the very bowels of the earth. Wider than the widest of wide things with extra width.
But there are folks online that I find interesting and thought provoking, who are nice to talk to. Some have common interests. Pretty much, that's what I would hope for in any friend.

4. Have you ever met anyone you have spoken to online in the flesh?
Not yet. But I hope to, chance permitting.

I think internet friendships are basically the "Penpals" of today.
Sometimes the writing aspect gets left to time and dust - but there are always a handful that you keep in touch with for a long time. These ones I think are the ones you meet!

 

[Marie]

For me internet friendship are the same as friendship is in reality.
I have very strong feelings for my internet friends.
I love them and I know I am a part of their lifes and they are a part of my life.
We share happiness and laugh,
but we also share grief, pain and tears.
I try my best to be there for them and support them in the best way I can when their lifes are hard and they feel sorry and sad.

In fact my best friends in reality I have been meeting at the internet at a Swedish site.
Some of them live pretty far away from me,
but we use to travel to each other.
This friends I have known for years.
The sweet people at Fandom I have only known since early spring this year.
They also live much more far away so it is not so easy to meet them.
But I have already plans to meet some of them some day.
I really hope my plans will work out and I will have enough money to do the trip.

 

[e-Morgana]

Originally posted by Radthorne
I think the person I feel the most affinity for here is e-M. She's both level-headed and fun, and of all the folks here the one I'd probably most like to meet. (Hmm, Australia; long way from the States... Well, we'll work on that...)

(Note to e-M: may I offer you a "virtual" lunch? Can you suggest a good cafe in cyberspace?)

Oh my, Rad - I'm deeply touched that you feel that way about me. I had no idea.

I must admit you have tickled my chuckle muscles yourself on occasion.

As to 'virtual lunch' - sounds great. Don't really know any good cybercafes though - will have to ponder awhile on that one.

 

[Pantalimon]

Ha! I just noticed I am suddenly dubbed a "senior" member! Not bad for less than a week!! lol It just is a sign that I am beginning to like it here quite a lot!

I can't leave you alone for a single weekend Elda and your already beating my post count!!

 

[Susan Boulton]

Originally posted by Tblue
1. What do you think of them?
Oh, terribly untrustworthy.

I am hurt *sniff*

Not yet. But I hope to, chance permitting.

Hope so too soon, but remember to bring Bu and IV along...

 

[Kirby]

Bu might not be allowed on the plane (he could be too much of a handful to travel with!), but I think IV will be okay, as long as nobody touches his sword!
I can see it now - "Officials seize half-centimetre weapon"...


P.S. nice with the seasonal Avatar...
hmmm - (looks at own av') - Red it is, then!

 

[Sammie]

Hol, can i claim partial responsibility for the existence of this topic? *looks hopeful*

1. What do you think of them?

I think they're great ....but i get sick of defending them to friends who don't use the net like i do...

I think the ease with which i form casual friendships online has been a confidence boost, too.

2. How long have you "talked" to people I mean in years, not online in one session *g*

Umm...about exactly a year, for Morgana, Shz and Cad, as far as IM chat-thingies go. 'Got to know' them on the boards first tho, which brings it up to about 16 months. But honestly feel that you don't get any real insight into someone's nature/personality etc until you start talking to them more in 'real time' than the boards allow.

3. How deep has your friendship gone?

Usually not very - my net friendships tend to be pretty casual ones. In the case of V (Morgana) and Shz, though, I'd say they're pretty comparable with some of my better 'real life' friendships. I don't think I'd want a great list of ppl online that i felt that way about tho - i think it's best to keep the majority of your friends 'palpable' .

4. Have you ever met anyone you have spoken to online in the flesh?

Nope

 

[Sammie]

Ahhhhhhhh...........Tblue what happened to your EYE??!!

*passes over eyedrops*

(it's making mine itch in sympathy!!)

 

[Susan Boulton]

Originally posted by Sammie
Ahhhhhhhh...........Tblue what happened to your EYE??!!

*passes over eyedrops*

(it's making mine itch in sympathy!!)

It's gone festive!!!!

 

[Jacquin]

1. What do you think of them?

Depends, some I love dearly, some I like a lot, some I have a laugh with and some people I hate with a passion.

I'm kinda kidding about that last one but I think that friends are friends whether they are from the net or the local pub.

2. How long have you "talked" to people I mean in years, not online in one session?

The longest I'd say would be a friend from London that I started exchanging the odd email with about 5 years ago.

3. How deep has your friendship gone?

Extremely, there are people I have met through the internet that I know consider family.

4. Have you ever met anyone you have spoken to online in the flesh?

Dozens, sometimes I am very surprised but normally I find that they are how I thought they'd be (except perhaps a little shyer in the flesh)

 

[Susan Boulton]

Re: Re: Internet Friendships....

Originally posted by Jacquin


Extremely, there are people I have met through the internet that I know consider family.

Ditto: mate

Dozens, sometimes I am very surprised but normally I find that they are how I thought they'd be (except perhaps a little shyer in the flesh)

Well, don't think that's me

 

[Eldanuumea]

Originally posted by Pantalimon

I can't leave you alone for a single weekend Elda and your already beating my post count!!

Oh, I have a long way to go to catch up to you, Luv! And I had to find something to do with you off enjoying yourself, didn't I?