The Couch Potato

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Season One

1.04 "Phantom Traveler"

Tapping into the fear of flying many people have, this episode sees a man named George boarding an airliner - who is himself uneasy about taking a plane - be possessed by a strange, black mist-like creature, and under its influence while in flight, he opens the emergency door and the plane goes down. Only seven survive, and Dean and Sam are called in by the airport manager, who says that their father once helped him with a ghost he had in his house, and as he can't contact John he has turned to the two sons. They ask for all relevant information on the crash, and listen to a strange sound on the CVR (Cockpit Voice Recorder): a low moaning, whistling sound. The investigators have taken that to indicate some sort of technical problem on the aircraft, leading to its downing, but Jerry, the airport guy, is not convinced.

Listening to the CVR recording the brothers make out the words "No survivors" and are convinced there was some otherworldly explanation for the crash. They go to see one of the survivors, in fact the guy who last saw George as he opened the emergency exit. He has checked himself into a psychiatric hospital, as he believes he has gone mad: there is two tons of pressure behind the emergency release - how could one man have opened in midflight? He also tells Dean and Sam that George had weird black eyes. The boys visit George's widow, but can find out nothing interesting about him: he was just an ordinary guy, a dentist on his way to a conference.

They next pose as Homeland Security in order to get access to the plane's wreckage. They find some sort of odd residue on the emergency exit and take it back with them for analysis. Meanwhile, the pilot of the downed plane, who is one of the survivors, is about to take command of his next flight. As he does, the weird black entity seeps into his eyes. He quickly loses control of the small aircraft and crashes into a field. The brothers meanwhile have identified the substance on the door as sulphur, clear evidence of demonic possession.

Travelling to the scene of the second accident, they again find sulphur traces in the wreckage, and conclude that the demon, which is obviously taking possession of people, is going after all of the survivors of the original crash, to ensure nobody escapes. With this information in hand, the brothers contact all of the remaining survivors to see if any intend flying that day. Only one does, the stewardess from the original flight, and unable to stop her the boys have to board the plane themselves, in order to exorcise the demon and save everyone on board. One small problem: big bad Dean has a fear of flying!

Onboard the plane the boys think it may be the stewardess, Amanda, who the demon has possessed but their test - pronouncing God's name in Latin backwards - does not support that hypothesis. After checking most of the passengers they come to believe it's the co-pilot. Trying to explain the situation to Amanda at thirty thousand feet is not easy, but she believes them - partially at least - as she says on the original flight she thought she noticed something weird about George's eyes, but had just shrugged it off. She helps the boys lure the co-pilot out and after some trouble with air turbulence they perform the exorcism that forces the demon to exit the man's body. As it does, it screams at Sam that it knows what happened to his fiancee, but Sam finishes the ritual after Dean drops the book they have been reading the verses from, and the demon vanishes, an electrical charge buzzing around the plane before it rights itself.

Back on the ground, Dean is interested as to how Jerry got his number, and he says he got it from their dad's voicemail. The brothers are surprised at this, since last time they checked their father's voicemail was not working. They call it and do indeed get the voicemail, with the additional message that if someone is in trouble they can call Dean. This is a big relief to them, as it means their father is still alive and out there somewhere. Still, why hasn't he then contacted them directly?

MUSIC
Black Sabbath: "Paranoid"
]
Rush: "Working man"
Nichion Sounds Library: "Load rage"

QUESTIONS?
Was the demon just playing on Sam's fears when it said it knew about his fiancee, or does it really know what happened to her? And what did happen to her? We saw her explode into flames: what else can there be?

Is John Winchester alive, and if so, why has he not contacted his sons? Is he trying to prevent attention being drawn to them? Is he unable to get in touch? Is there another reason?

The "WTF?!!" moment
Sort of not really one here, but the climax of the story with the turbulence and Dean dropping the prayer book is pretty stunning: the whole exorcism scene on the plane is pretty breathtaking.

PCRs
As Dean Sam and Jerry discuss the poltergeist their father helped Jerry out with some years back, a passing employee remarks "Poltergeist? Man, I love that movie!" Referencing the eponymous horror flick that had most of us checking under our beds back in the eighties.

As the boys "suit up" to look more respectable if posing as members of the NTSB (National Transportation Safety Bureau - don't you ever watch Air Crash Investigations? - they investigate any aircraft disasters, crashes, downed aircraft etc) Dean mumbles "Man, I look like one of the Blues Brothers!" A reference to the cult 80s film of the same name, starring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd.

When Dean is trying to get Amanda the stewardess not to board the plane the possessed co-pilot is flying, he calls her and tells her there has been an emergency with her sister. He pretends to be a doctor, and uses the name James Headfield. This is far too close to James Hetfield, lead vocalist with Metallica, to be coincidence, especially given the fact that the band were namechecked by Sam as he perused Sam's "dubious" choice of music in the car in the pilot episode. (Just to back this up, later on the plane as Dean tries to remain calm he is humming, and Sam asks him if it is Metallica he's humming. It is.)

As Dean tries to explain to Amanda about the spirit possessing the co-pilot, he remarks "I don't have time for the whole "The truth is out there" speech right now". Another reference to The X-Files, of course.

1.05 "Bloody Mary"

Investigating the death of a man whose eyes appear to have liquefied, Sam and Dean speak to the dead man's daughters, one of whom blames his death on her sister, saying that on a dare she faced the mirror in the bathroom and spoke the words "Bloody Mary" three times. There is a legend about a vengeful spirit who will come for anyone who does that, but the older sister does not believe such stories. Later two of the other girls are messing about, talking on the phone, and one, Charley, listens as the other, Jill, making light of the legend says the name three times while standing in front of a mirror. She screams, and Charley screams back, but then she laughs as it was all a joke. When Jill hangs up the phone though, she sees her eyes begin to bleed. She is found dead the next day.

Gaining access to Jill's room the boys shine a blacklight on the mirror and reveal on the back the name "Gary Bryman" carved on it. There is also what looks like a handprint. Turns out he was an eight-year old who was killed in a hit and run, and Jill the one driving the car. Back in the house where the original death took place, they reveal another name: "Linda Shoemaker". This is the wife of Stephen, the man whose death brought the boys here, and they're told she died of an overdose, though they wonder if the father killed the mother? There is another handprint to accompany the name.

The brothers are forming something of a working hypothesis now. As both victims of "Bloody Mary" were involved in fatal acts that may have gone unpunished or even unknown, she must be wreaking revenge on those sort of people. This would lead to the conclusion that she too was murdered and her killer never brought to justice. They turn up the name Mary Worthington, and find that indeed she was killed: her eyes were removed with almost surgical precision, but no-one was ever charged with her murder. She did apparently manage to scrawl three letters on a mirror - "tre" - which could refer to a surgeon whose name is Trevor Sampson. This also fits in with the fact that she was having an affair with a man whom she referred to in her journal only as "T", and that she had intended to tell his wife.

Donna Shoemaker is angry with her friend Charley for having stirred up trouble and bringing the boys in on the case, thus reopening the old wound of her mother's "tragic" death. She snaps "Bloody Mary" three times in a mirror in front of Charley. Nothing happens but it scares Charley, and a few moments later she starts to see the apparition in every reflective surface: mirrors, windows, glasses ... and her eyes begin to bleed. Sam and Dean meanwhile have tracked down the mirror on which Mary Worthington wrote, but just then they get a call from Charley, who is hysterical, and they have to take her to their hotel.

They cover all reflective surfaces so that the ghost has no medium through which to travel and wreak her vengeance, and Charley admits that her boyfriend committed suicide over her, something the harpie may blame her for. Dean and Sam leave her in the hotel and go to find the original mirror. Luckily it was sold to a shop in the town, so they break in and smash every mirror while calling her name three times, forcing her eventually into the only mirror left, the one she wrote on. When Dean smashes this - as Sam's eyes begin to bleed and he drops to the floor - he thinks he has saved the day, but Bloody Mary comes out of the mirror in person, so to speak. Dean grabs one more mirror and reflects her own image back at her, finally destroying her.

MUSIC
The Rolling Stones: "Laugh? I Nearly Died."
Def Leppard: "Rock of Ages"
Fall Out Boy: "Sugar,We're Going Down"

QUESTIONS?
What is it Sam is hiding from Dean about Jessica's death? When he faces Bloody Mary in the mirror, she taunts him by saying "You never told her the truth—who you really were. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? Those nightmares you’ve been having of Jessica dying, screaming, burning—You had them for days before she died. Didn’t you!?! You were so desperate to ignore them, to believe they were just dreams. How could you ignore them like that? How could you leave her alone to die!?! You dreamt it would happen!!!"
Can that be true? Could Sam have had foreknowledge of what was about to happen, and if so, why didn't he warn Jessica, move, do something?

Although it's not totally integral to the plot, the murder of Mary Worthington seems to have sparked the malevolent spirit that drew her into the mirror. So was she killed by the surgeon? Was it Trevor Sampson? We're never told, but if it wasn't then perhaps her quest for vengeance has been misplaced. Although she was killed and her murderer never brought to justice, so perhaps in the long run it doesn't really matter who killed her, just that her death went unavenged, spurring her to a supernatural killing spree. Still, the facts do seem to stack up.

The "WTF?!!" moment
When Dean smashes the mirror at the end, and Bloody Mary lunges OUT of it at him!

PCRs
None

Note: This is a dark episode, light on laughs and very bleak. It opens on a girls' slumber party, truth-or-dare but it quickly turns chillingly horrific and as the secrets come out and the story unfolds, it's pretty clear this is a serious one. That's probably borne out in the fact that there are no PCRs at all in this, and the only moment of light relief that comes in the whole thing is when Dean rushes outside, as they ransack the shop near the end, and claims to be the owner's kid. A disbelieving cop squints: "You're Mr. Yamashiro's kid?"

There's even a dark subtext in the story, as if the main plot wasn't bleak enough, hinting that Sam may have known about Jessica's impending death, as he follows through on the guilt that must be eating him up inside by trying to sacrifice himself to Bloody Mary, or at least being the decoy. As the episode ends, it looks as if he sees Jessica standing on the road, but as she disappears we're no wiser as to whether she was really there, or if his tortured brain is just playing tricks on him.
 
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Just after 24 aired and began "ground-breakingly" bumping off major characters a small UK series was getting its premiere and taking serious flak from the security services for its "laughable" and "unrealistic" portrayal of MI5. This was the new series from Kudos supremo Jane Featherstone, although credit for its creation is given to David Wolstencroft, its main writer, and it dealt with the hazards faced by a team of MI5 (British Secret Service) agents as they raced to foil plans, stop bombs going off and thwart (or in some cases, engineer) regime changes, all before breakfast.

While the world portrayed in Spooks may be far removed from the reality of working for the most secret organisation in the UK - or may not; they're just that secret you would not know, and if you did, they'd probably have to kill you! - the dangers they face, the situations they find themselves in and the dramas they go through each week are all too believable. Certainly, there are too many young, sexy, hip people in the organisation, but then, who wants to see a bunch of old spies run around? You have to have a certain suspension of disbelief to enjoy the show, as indeed was necessary with anything from 24 to the new (or old) Hawaii 5-0, but that's TV drama for you. It rarely accurately reflects reality: when it does, it's called a documentary.

But one of the things that stood Spooks apart from the vast slew of other drama programmes on TV at the time was their willingness to kill off major characters. With an almost gleeful sense of abandon, nobody was safe. 24 may have sprung the odd surprise during its run by allowing some major leads to die, but I don't believe any show before or since has knocked off its main characters so regularly, so much so that it almost became expected. Every few seasons there would be almost an entirely new cast, and while you would think that would grate on viewers, getting used to a whole new bunch of faces, somehow it worked, and we took to the new guys easily, almost but not quite forgetting the older hands.

Literally nobody was safe. Who would be next to suffer an unexpected death, just when we believed them to have escaped? With Spooks, you just never knew, and that added an extra element of tension and unease into the programme. When you know the star can't possibly be shot, stabbed, run over, pushed off a bridge or anything else that might lead to his or her death, you get a little inured to the sequences where it looks like he or she has been killed. You know they're going to survive. But not with Spooks.

Anyone was fair game, and you didn't even have to be a big star either. When one of the "back room boys", whom we'd all come to like, meets his end in one of the earlier seasons it's so much a shock it's almost a hammerblow. Even with Spooks' reputation at this point, you think no, there's no way they'd let him die! The guys will come to rescue him. But they don't, and Spooks scores another hit on the disbelief scale. We come to see that anyone - anyone - can be bumped off if the story calls for it, and as a result we really worry when one of the guys or girls is in a tight spot and look like they might not make it out, which in most cases they do but there's always the possibility that this time they won't. To add suspense, some of the seasons ended on cliffhangers that hinged on the question of whether someone lives or dies, and you had to wait till next year to find out.

Although the stories seem fanciful, they had an unsettling way of coming true. Without implying that terrorists were watching the show for ideas, there were a lot of parallels in how the stories went and how history turned out soon afterwards. Coincidence of course, but chilling nonetheless. And without the great staple of the spy thriller, the Russians, to take the role of the bad guy in their stories, Spooks found a whole rock-underside full of demagogues, despots, terrorists, oligarchs and corrupt officials, arms dealers, state heads and more to take the part. There is, sadly, no shortage of evil people in the world.

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And so to the cast. As I mentioned, this is fluid to say the least, so each season (or episode) I'll mention any changes. When the series begins we have, working from left to right:

Zoe Reynolds, played by Keeley Hawes. Keeley would of course later find fame in Ashes to Ashes, another Kudos production and spinoff from Life on Mars, both of which we will be featuring here next year. Zoe is the youngest recruit to MI5, and desperate to prove herself both as an agent and as something other than the "token girl".

Tom Quinn, played by Matthew McFayden. Tom is the senior agent, the man in charge of the day-to-day operations and the one who takes command "in the field". He comes across as a little cold, as perhaps life in MI5 has made him, having seen so much death and horror.

Tessa Philips, played by Jenny Agutter (yes, the show attracted some major stars, both of TV and film). She is the senior case officer for Section K, the division the Spooks work for.

Sir Harry Pearce, played by Peter Firth. Head of counter-terrorism and the overall boss here. Pearce is the only one who would last through all ten seasons (sorry if I gave anything away there!)

Danny Hunter, played by David Oyelowo. Another junior officer, who joins about the same time as Zoe Reynolds. The two find themselves supporting one another emotionally as Tom has little time or patience to ease anyone into a life as a spy.

Helen Flynn, played by Lisa Faulkner. Helen is a junior administration officer, but her role will only last up to the second episode, resulting in a shock scene that flooded the BBC switchboard with complaints when it was first aired, and was the first time Spooks sent a broadside across television viewers' bows, showing they were not going to be just another show.

There are other characters, some who go in and out of the series in various roles, some who become integral to it as support characters, but we will introduce and talk about them as they arrive. For now, the is the main cast that took to the air with the first ever episode of a show that was to pretty much take British (and later American) TV by storm.
 
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Note: this is the first real main story arc episode, and as there are a few standalones and the arc doesn't really get going till season two, I'll be marking important episodes, those central to the arc, those that contain or point to big revelations and major plot points, with this image in future. So when you see this, you know it's time to pay attention.
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Season One: "Signs and Portents" (Part Four)
1.8 "And the Sky Full of Stars"

Here we see the first real attempts to get to the truth behind the Battle of the Line, why the Minbari surrendered and what happened during that twenty-four hour gap in Sinclair's mind. Persons identified only by codenames (Knight One and Knight Two) arrive at the station and rent quarters in one of the more deserted, rundown sectors, setting up some elaborate machinery. With the help of one of Babylon 5's security personnel, who has got in over his head in debt, they set up a virtual reality cybernet matrix which allows them to create a nightmarish world in which Sinclair is held against his will. In effect, they enter his mind through the use of the machine they have installed, and to which Knight Two is now hooked up.

Using every sort of interrogation method they can, the two try to break Sinclair and make him tell them what they want to know. They're unaware, or refuse to believe, that the commander is as much in the dark about what happened when he "went dark" for twenty-four hours as they are, and that even if he wanted to tell them, he couldn't. But the two men are convinced he sold out Earth to the Minbari, was turned into an agent for the aliens and that's why the Minbari surrendered. Unable to defeat humanity, Knight Two says (blissfully ignoring the fact that the aliens had very much defeated Earth and were about to consolidate their victory) they decided to recruit a "fifth column", a band of traitors and inside men who would pass back information to them and help them move to the highest positions of authority on Earth. Defeat from within, sleeper agents helping to procure for the Minbari the victory they could not achieve through force of arms. Again...?

It's the first time we see a re-enactment of the Battle of the Line, though it won't be the last. The title of the episode comes from Sinclair's despairing description of their hopeless task: "And the sky was full of stars, and every star an exploding ship!" He knew then that the game was up, that Earth was defeated and determined to go out fighting he set his Starfury fighter on a collision course with one of the Minbari cruisers, but blacked out before it hit. When he woke, the war was over. Nothing the two Knights can force from him will change that story, as it is all he remembers. His mind is a total blank for that period.

However, the virtual reality cybernet does conjure up, whether from his mind or from somewhere else, an image he has not seen before. Or at least, does not remember seeing. Or does he? It does look familiar. He is surrounded by grey hooded and cloaked figures, beyond them it's dark and Sinclair cannot make out his surroundings. One of the figures shoots a beam of light at him and he collapses. Seizing upon this new information, Knight Two asks Sinclair what he's hiding, but Sinclair does not know; as far as he's aware, he isn't hiding anything. And yet...

Knight Two counters his hot retort that he did not betray Earth with a smart question as to how he could know that, if he can't remember what transpired during those twenty-four hours? Sinclair admits to himself he has no answer to that, but he does agree that something has been bothering him, something that has made him question just how much he actually blacked out, and what may have taken place during that time. It refers back to the pilot episode, where he confronted the Minbari who had been sent to kill Kosh. Just before he took his own life, the warrior told Sinclair "You have a hole in your mind", which is true, he does: there's a whole day he can't account for, and it worries him.

As they re-enter the virtual world at the behest of Knight Two, more details begin to coalesce, dragged, it would seem, from Sinclair's memory, and now he begins to remember. He sees his ship, on a collision course with a massive Minbari cruiser. He sees it loom large in his viewscreen, then be pulled in to the ship on some sort of tractor beam. He sees himself again surrounded by the grey figures. He is restrained to a large triangular structure. One of the figures approaches him and hold up a small grey metal triangular device before his face, and it glows. He somehow is free, and moves towards one of the figures, pulling back the hood and gasping as he realises he recognises the face underneath the cowl. But again he is shot, and collapses, and his memories dissolve.

Pushed to breaking point, Sinclair marshalls the strength to break free and the feedback knocks Knight Two out. Sinclair runs and punches Knight One, who has come into the room to check if all is okay, and Sinclair grabs a gun and runs out. The psychological torture has been such though that he no longer knows where he is, and believes himself back at the Battle of the Line. When Garibaldi, who has been searching for him, finds him he is ready to shoot, but Delenn approaches him. He however seems to recognise her as an enemy, but she convinces him otherwise and leads him out.

Later, as Knight Two is being taken back to Earth for trial, Sinclair speaks to him but the man's mind has been fried and he makes no sense. Garibaldi tells the commander that he believes the two - the other of whom is dead - were part of a covert, deep-cover Earthforce mission to try to either uncover traitors in its command structure or paint those individuals as such, and he doubts they'll hear much about the trial, or Knight Two, once he returns to Earth. Delenn later asks Sinclair if he remembers anything about the Battle of the Line, and he says no he does not.

But he does. The virtual reality cybernet has awoken in him memories that have been, it would seem, suppressed, and that twenty-four hour period is no longer dark or blank to him. However, the answer has raised even more questions: important, possibly crucial ones, and Sinclair is determined to get to the bottom of the matter.

Important Plot Arc Points
(This is, as I mentioned, the first proper "arc" episode, where all those little clues we've been getting, dropped like breadcrumbs along the path, tidbits of information, pointers and indications that something larger might be taking place, begin for the first time to fall into place. There's a long way to go before we know the whole story, certainly, but at least here we can start to fit one piece into the jigsaw, and Babylon 5 begins to be seen as something more than just an episodic sci-fi show.)

The Battle of the Line
Arc Level: Red
Finally we see the famous battle; we hear Sinclair in his position as squad leader advise his men, lead them and then quickly see a trap is being sprung, but finds himself unable to stop his men being slaughtered by the Minbari. Angry, vengeful and with no real hope of survival anyway, he resolves to take down one of the enemy cruisers and sets his ship on a collision course with it. Up to now, that's as much as we have known. Sinclair blacked out, came to twenty-four hours later and the war was over.

Now, more details are beginning to emerge, details that start to fill in that missing blank period in his life, the "hole in his mind" that the Minbari assassin spoke of. We see that he was taken onboard the cruiser, seemingly tortured, examined and probed by what appear to be members of the Grey Council, the shadowy rulers of the Minbari. He also sees that he recognised one of the members, and now sees the face of Ambassador Delenn behind the cowl he pulled back. What was she doing on that cruiser? This also plays into her warning to Lennier, on his arrival, not to call her by her title Satai, so that no-one will know she is a member of the Grey Council. Clearly, the Minbari blanked Sinclair's memory, but why? What did they not want him to remember? And why does Delenn want her membership of the Grey Council kept from everyone?

Sinclair's partially-returning memories of the Battle of the Line are of course the main arc plot point in this episode, but there are also foreshadowings of a change in the power structure back home, with dark elements within the government getting stronger and coming a little more out of the shadows, as if they are no longer afraid to be discovered. We've already seen Home Guard, and of course the Psi Corps flexing their muscle. Before long, we will see pretty cataclysmic changes in the balance of power, which will impact on the series right up and into the fourth season.

The Grey Council
Arc Level: Red
Who are the Grey Council? Nothing is known of them, save that they are a shadowy conclave who speak for, make policy for and direct the Minbari people. Like a ruling body of high priests, their word seems to be law and their edicts unchallenged. Delenn is a member, so what does that mean for Babylon 5, and for Sinclair in particular, who must assume now, with his memories partially regained, that she was complicit in, and may even have taken an active role in, his abduction and torture?


Some additional notes:
Although not a part of the main arc, per se, we do see into the soul of Dr. Franklin here, when he is asked by Delenn what he did during the war? He replies that toward the end of the war, all xenobiologists were ordered by Earth Force to turn over their notes on Minbari physiology so that effective genetic and biological weapons could be created. Delenn asks him if he did, indeed, hand over his notes. "I took an oath that all life is sacred. I destroyed my notes rather than have them used for killing," he answers.

This tells us more about the man than a hundred action scenes could. We will find, as the series goes on, that the good doctor certainly knows how to handle himself. He may kill, if it is unavoidable, but at heart he is a man of peace, a healer who is just as likely to run to the aid of a fallen enemy as a comrade. He does not generally differentiate between the wounded on either side: to him, a patient is a patient, even if an hour ago that patient was trying to blow the doctor's head off. He has taken the Hippocratic oath, and nothing is more sacred to him. This will later put him in a very tough position, when he has to reconcile that belief with carrying out acts he would never have thought himself capable of, for the greater good.

"Oh dear, JMS...!"

Although there is some great dialogue in this episode, one line stands out to me as just terrible. JMS is a great writer, of that there is no doubt, and even a genius can have an off-day, so we can forgive him the odd slip. However, this quote made me think that maybe he was tired when writing this, or just wanted to finish something and so didn't give it too much thought. It's only one line really, so nothing to make a big fuss over, but its banality and lack of originality disappointed me. Sinclair speaks about the truth to Garibaldi. ""Everyone lies, Michael. The innocent lie because they don't want to be blamed for something they didn't do, and the guilty lie because they don't have any other choice."

Even ignoring the terrible lines, the concept is flawed. The innocent do NOT lie: they almost always tell the truth, and the guilty CAN lie, but it's not like they have no choice, as Sinclair asserts. If anything, in fact, the guilty are more likely to lie than the innocent, as the former have something to hide while those who do not have no real reason, normally, to lie. So the whole thing is a really badly-thought-out and badly-written line. It's only a few words, but perhaps because of how good some of the other dialogue is, it tends to stand out to me, and annoys me.

Quotes
Knight Two speaks in a very grand, pompous voice, but he has some excellent lines as he speaks to Sinclair (the only person he does talk to, other than his partner in crime).

"Maybe you're asleep. Maybe you're insane. Maybe you're dead. Maybe you're in Hell. Not that it matters much, Commander Sinclair, because wherever you are, wherever you go, you're mine!"

"It's shadow-play, without form or substance".

"We'll walk together across the bridge of synapses and neurons, into the very heart of your memories, to find the truth about what happened at the Battle of the Line!"

"They took you aboard, fixed you some milk and cookies. Asked you to work for them. Nobody wants to die, Commander, especially in the cold of space. You agreed."

And Commander Sinclair waxes tragic about the Battle:
"They were my friends. I watched them die, one by one. For years afterwards, whenever I saw a Minbari, I had to fight the urge to strangle them with my bare hands.... We never had a chance.... When I looked at those ships, I didn't just see my death. I saw the death of the whole damn human race."

Most interestingly, when Sinclair is taken aboard the Minbari cruiser and the grey figures silently circle him, he shouts at them "What do you want?" The significance of this, whether intentional or not (and one always has to assume the former with Straczynski!) will become clearer soon, and certainly as season two gets going.

Sinclair's vow, as the episode fades to credits, is also telling, and a marker for the future: "Personal Log. I remember. I was taken inside a Minbari cruiser, interrogated, tortured. Was that the Grey Council? Maybe. Maybe. Before they surrendered, they must have blanked my memory and let me go. And Delenn--what was she doing there? What is it they don't want me to remember? I have to find out. I have to!"


1.9 "Deathwalker"

The arrival of an alien at the station causes controversy when it's rumoured that she is an infamous war criminal, Warmaster Jha'Dur of the Dilgar, whose name is whispered in hatred and anger as Deathwalker. She is responsible for countless atrocities, among them war crimes against G'Kar's people, as the Dilgar fought against both the Narn and Earth in the past. That war, however, ended over thirty years ago and all remaining Dilgar died when their sun went nova, so Sinclair and Garibaldi, and Franklin, who examines the woman purported to be Deathwalker after Na'Toth, who has sworn a blood oath against her, attacks her at the docking bay, are all skeptical that this could be the same person.

However, after a search of her ship reveals a Dilgar uniform with insignia on it which seems to confirm the patient as Jha'dur, the infamous Deathwalker, and a strange chemical is also recovered, there seems little doubt, strange and unlikely as it may be, that this is the same person who led the Dilgar invasion of 2230. Sinclair gets a communication from Earth, where a senator there tells him he is to make arrangements to send the mystery woman to Earth as soon as she is fit to travel. Sinclair's protestations that they believe her to be Deathwalker, and thus a war criminal more deserving of imprisonment and trial than free passage to Earth, fall on deaf ears, and he is ordered to carry out the senator's directions.

Meanwhile, G'Kar, who has taken the arrested Na'Toth into his custody, explains that although he understands and agrees with his aide's blood oath, Deathwalker has discovered something that could help the Narn in their quest to become stronger and take their place among the superpowers of the galaxy, and that this once, she must put her revenge on hold. Like Sinclair, he has orders too to convey the Warmaster to his home planet.

Summoned to medlab as the patient regains consciousness, Sinclair is told by her that she is indeed the war criminal, and that she has been sheltered and protected by a Minbari warrior clan, which is why when she arrived at the station she was onboard a Minbari vessel. She tells the commander that she has developed an anti-ageing drug, which she calls an anti-agapic, and is prepared to bring it to Earth so it may be further refined and then distributed to all. Sinclair is stunned: Deathwalker has in effect discovered the fountain of youth, the secret of immortality. She herself is living proof that it works, and she knows the value and importance of her discovery.

G'Kar, meanwhile, has made a very generous offer to Jha'dur to try to get her to take her drug to Narn instead of Earth, and she agrees to consider it, providing she's given Na'Toth's head on a platter! Angry, G'Kar leaves, and stirs up trouble by making it known to the other alien representatives that the Earthers are trying to "smuggle" Deathwalker off the station. Deathwalker is a horror figure in many of their histories, and most have encountered tales of her cruelty and barbarism, and they are loath to let her leave. They demand a full session of the council be convened, to instigate a trial of the war criminal. Faced with a fullscale riot and the very real possibility of the deaths of many, Sinclair has no choice but to accept their terms.

The session does not go well. Although Londo votes against the trial - as he has nothing to gain from it, and Deathwalker never attacked his people - G'Kar unsurprisingly votes yes, but with a caveat: the trial must take place on his home planet. When that idea is shouted down, he changes his vote to no. Although Sinclair had expected the Minbari to vote yes, they do not, as they have a dirty secret they need to keep about Deathwalker. With only Earth and the League of Non-Aligned Worlds voting yes, and Kosh as ever abstaining, the vote is defeated and the trial cannot take place.

Angered at how the vote turned out, some of the races call in ships from their forces to blockade Babylon 5, demanding Deathwalker not be allowed leave the station. Placing Babylon 5's defences on full alert, Ivanova warns the ships off but the situation is deteriorating. Sinclair sees he has no choice but to call another session of the council and reveal the truth about Jha'dur's amazing discovery. They all agree it is a huge opportunity for all races to benefit, and agree it should be developed, but want Deathwalker tried afterwards. Sinclair agrees that once they have synthesised the serum and can make it without her assistance, the Warmaster will be turned over to the League. The compromise is accepted, and a ship made ready to take Jha'dur to Earth.

Before she leaves though, Deathwalker can't resist telling Sinclair the truth behind the anti-agapic: its main ingredient must be taken from living beings, so people will have to die, probably in the millions or even billions, for others to live. She is very pleased with the dark symmetry of the situation, but Sinclair snarls at her to get off his station.

As the ship departs, the jumpgate opens and a Vorlon ship comes through. Without hesitation it destroys the ship carrying Deathwalker, to the surprised cheers of all watching. Kosh, who has come out to witness the attack, tells Sinclair humanity is not ready for immortality.

Great as this episode is, there's a really stupid, pointless subplot where Kosh engages Talia Winters to mediate in negotiations he is having with a weird alien being called Abutt. The two speak in riddles, and it seems Abbut is a "Vicar", or VCR - a human recording device. But the story goes and went nowhere, and whether it was part of JMS's original plan or not to use it, I don't know but it now stands as a completely unrelated and loose thread that was never tied into the massive tapestry of Babylon 5. It's a loose end, and there are seldom any of those in this story, which is why I think it annoys me so much.

Important Plot Arc Points:
Kosh/Vorlons

Arc Level: Red
To be fair, there aren't really any important arc elements here. It's interesting though to see that Kosh, the Vorlon ambassador, finally takes an active role in events, as his people decide the younger races are not ready for the tremendous power that living forever brings, and take steps to make sure they do not get the chance. Kosh will now again retreat into the shadows, and we won't really hear from him again for a few more episodes, though he will always be around, waiting, listening, observing, perhaps planning.

The Wind Swords/Hole in your mind
Arc Level: Green
It's clear from what Jha'dur says that the Minbari war clan The Wind Swords sheltered her, and in truth it turns out that they did more than that, because Lennier later tells Sinclair that during the war against Earth they came to the Grey Council with weapons of mass destruction which they had obtained from Deathwalker. The Council had been at the time unaware of their involvement with the Dilgar Warmaster, and being an honourable people were and are embarrassed by the revelation. This is why they voted against the trial, because in such a proceeding, surely this most damaging skeleton would have been dragged from its closet, tarnishing their reputation and perhaps making them complicit in the Dilgar's warcrimes?

Also, Deathwalker mentions that the Wind Swords have spoken often about Sinclair, and that they say, yes you guessed it, he has a hole in his mind.

Quotes
Unsurprisingly, Warmaster Jha'dur gets the lion's share of the best quotes from this episode, and Sarah Douglas, in the role of Deathwalker, delivers these lines with the chilling contempt of a serial killer who knows she will never be brought to justice for her crimes, for she has in her possession something far more valuable to any living being than revenge.

Deathwalker to G'Kar, on his offer to have her come to Narn: "I will consider it, Ambassador, if in addition I may have just one thing: the head of the animal who attacked me in the landing bay!"

Deathwalker to Sinclair: "You know the way of command. Yes, the Wind Swords are right to fear you.... they have sheltered me for many years, in return for certain services. They speak of you often, Sinclair. They say you have a hole in your mind."

Deathwalker to G'Kar: "You're very well informed, G'Kar. Our reports always said you were a clever one--and a good resistance leader, too. If Earth Alliance hadn't taken a hand in our invasion, we might have helped your kind wipe the Centauri out completely."

Garibaldi on Deathwalker's intentions: "She wiped out entire races, destroyed whole planets, experimented on living beings. Now she wants to make everybody immortal?"

Garibaldi to Sinclair, on his plan to get Jha'dur off the station and back to Earth, as ordered: "Better pray to that God of yours you're right, Jeff, because if any of the League ambassadors find out about this 'deal,' they'll tear Babylon 5 to pieces."

Deathwalker, on the effect her drug will have on the galaxy: "Delicious irony ... that those who cursed us will have to thank us for the rest of time."

Deathwalker's last words to Sinclair: "You and the rest of your kind take blind confidence in the belief that we are monsters--that you could never do what we did. The key ingredient in the serum cannot be synthesized; it must be taken from living beings. For one to live forever, another one must die. You will fall upon one another like wolves. It'll make what we did pale by comparison. The billions who live forever will be a testimony to my work, and the billions who are murdered to buy that immortality will be the continuance of my work. Not like us? You will become us. That's my monument, Commander."

Kosh (after the Vorlon ship has destroyed Deathwalker's vessel) to Sinclair: "You are not ready for immortality".

1.10 "Believers"

This was the point when I sat back in shock and realised once and for all that Babylon 5 was going to be nothing like Star Trek, or at least, the Star Trek I had seen up to this point, where when a major or even minor character is due to die, they always find some way to save him/her/it at the last moment, in some cases actually bringing them back from the dead. In at least the early seasons of Star Trek the Next Generation, and of course the original Trek, and before Deep Space Nine rewrote Roddenberry's "everything will work out by the closing credits" playbook, you knew that no matter what danger they faced, the crew of the USS Enterprise were going to make it through. Sure, Captain Kirk or Data or Crusher might SEEM to be in a hopeless situation, near death, or impossible to rescue, but you knew that they'd find a way. The good guys always won, and the innocent were protected.

Yeah. :rolleyes:

But Babylon 5, and particularly this episode, changed all that. Surprisingly for its pivotal nature, it's one of the very few episodes not written by JMS, penned instead by science-fiction author David Gerrold, (though the main plot and idea were from the mind of the series creator) and it's a total gem. Essentially this episode lays out the fundamental challenges in dealing with a race (read, religious group) who have strong views against surgery, to the point where they will refuse to allow a procedure that may save their lives, or that of their loved one, if it goes against their beliefs. This is the situation Dr. Franklin finds himself in, when Shon, a young boy suffering from a respiratory condition fatal if not treated, comes onboard the station with his parents, aliens who call themselves The People of the Egg, and about whom little is known.

The condition is easily treatable, Franklin tells the parents, but when they learn there is surgery involved they refuse to give their consent, for their people believe the soul is housed within the body - literally - and will escape if the body is cut open. Franklin can't believe anyone would give such superstitious nonsense credence, but is bound by his office to respect the wishes of the parents. Unfortunately, this conflicts directly with the oath he took as a doctor, and he petitions Sinclair to allow him - and when he will not, to order him - to operate on the boy. Sinclair says he must be the parents' advocate, as there is no-one else on the station to whom they can turn, and Franklin testily reminds him of the commander's instruction to his predecessor to operate on Ambassador Kosh, against the Vorlon government's express wishes. Sinclair demurs, saying it's not the same thing.

Franklin advises the parents there is another, less reliable procedure he can try on Shon, which does not involve surgery, and though he and his assistant doctor know this is a faint hope and only putting off the inevitable, they use it to play for time. When it's clear the alternative method is not working, he feels, the parents will cave and ask him to save their son, as you would expect any mother and father to when their child is in danger. He has reckoned though without the aliens' unshakeable faith and their belief that their son will lose his soul if cut, and they again refuse to allow the procedure, even though it looks like the only other option is to allow their son to die.

Franklin then forces Sinclair's hand by making a formal request for the commander to intervene and order him to operate on the boy. Sinclair says he will consider his options, and the parents, believing the commander will vote against them and with his CMO, seek the help of the ambassadors on the station. However, for various and different reasons, each decline to get involved. No-one wants to pick up this particular hot potato. And even Earth Central, whom Sinclair has contacted for orders and/or guidance, pass the buck back to him, telling him it's his decision and nothing to do with Earth. Babylon 5 is a neutral station, and so Earthforce can't apply their own rules and regulations to visitors. Of course, they do so when it suits them: this is just a handy way out for the authorities back home.

Sinclair eventually tells Franklin he has decided to support the parents' decision, after much agonising, and Franklin, furious that the child will die - even though Shon himself has confirmed he does not want the surgery if it would "cost him his soul" - goes against his CO's orders and performs the operation. It's a success, and Shon is saved, but when the parents realise what Franklin has done they are aghast, and take the child away with them. Franklin, congratulating himself for having stood up to the commander and done "the right thing", is idly researching what little information they have on the People of the Egg when his blood freezes. Tearing out of medlab and towards the visitors' quarters, he arrives too late, to see that the parents have killed their son, whom they considered to be only a empty husk, devoid of its soul after Franklin's procedure.

Stunned, Franklin can do nothing. It is already too late; the child is dead and the parents are leaving the station. He is inconsolable as he talks to Sinclair in the garden, but the commander, who says he should really ask for the doctor's resignation, admits that it was a hard decision, especially involving a child, and agrees to let the matter rest. Franklin has, after all, his own personal hell to deal with now, as he mulls over whether he was right to discount a people's beliefs and go against the parents' wishes. Now, they have not only lost their son, but believe him to be an evil spirit, and can never feel about him as they once did. In trying to save Shon, he has damned him, and the boy's family, for eternity.

This episode, apart from being a total shock ending, gives us our first real insight into the mind and heart of Dr. Stephen Franklin. On the surface he's a competent, even brilliant surgeon with an almost pathological desire to do right by his patients - witness his destruction of his xenobiological files, rather than let them be used to create weapons - but underlying all this is a deep arrogance that as a doctor he knows better than most, if not all. In many ways, and he says it himself in this episode, Franklin plays God, although he does not actually believe in God. This incident will however shake his previously rock solid belief in his own judgement, and will make him question if the right thing to do is always the best thing.

Important Plot Arc Points
None, really. The episode is pretty self-contained, and even the subplot in which Ivanova chases Raiders who are attacking freighters is pretty nondescript and not important to the overall story.

Quotes
Sinclair to Franklin, as he informs the doctor of his decision not to allow him perform the lifesaving operation: "Who should I believe? You, because we share the same beliefs? Or do we? ... What makes a religion false? If any religion is right, then maybe they all have to be right. Maybe God doesn't care how you say your prayers, just as long as you say them ... What we hold sacred gives our lives meaning. What are we taking away from this child? ... I have to refuse to sign the order. I can't allow you to perform the operation."

Kosh, when asked to intervene by the parents, is typically cryptic and no help at all: "The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote."

Sinclair, furious at Franklin for going against his explicit orders, and ignoring the express wishes of the parents: "Who asked you to play God?"
Franklin: "Every damn patient who comes through that door! They want me to make it go away, or make it better, or make it not so. Well, if I have to accept the responsibility then I claim the credit too! I did good!" (Rather worryingly, here the doctor is comparing himself to God, and quite believes it, within this restricted frame of reference admittedly)

Sinclair, after the tragedy: "What makes us human is that we care - and because we care, we never stop trying."
Franklin: "No, what makes us human is that we have so many different ways to hurt." (Personally, though this is an important line, I'm still not quite sure if he means we have so many different ways to hurt each other or ourselves, or if he means we hurt in so many different ways by the choices we make).

Mother alien: "My husband cannot forgive you for what you have done, Doctor. I am not allowed to forgive either, but if it was in my power, I would."
(Whether this represents a cultural shift beginning with the mother, in which she realises that sometimes their rigid faith should not always be adhered to in every situation, or whether she is just recognising the fact that Franklin tried to save her son, at the expense of possibly his own job, is unclear.)

The different reasons/excuses proffered by the various ambassadors for turning down the parents' request are interesting, not only in how different they are and what a slant they put on the situation as seen through alien eyes (other than those of the People of the Egg, I mean) but in that they are all, to one extent or another, right and understandable. Why should an alien government interfere in what is basically none of their business, and more, go essentially up against Earthforce and the command structure of the station on which they all depend to conduct their business in a neutral environment? Nevertheless, the replies and responses are interesting to list:

The Narn view:


G'Kar: "I'd never even heard of your world until two days ago, when my research staff acknowledged your arrival. Interesting little place, but it has really nothing to offer the Narn Regime. You see, alliances are built on mutual advantage."
Mother alien: "We're not asking you to negotiate a treaty: we're asking you to help save our child."
G'Kar: "But you're asking me to exercise my authority on your behalf. What were you thinking when you petitioned us?"
Father alien: "We thought your dislike of the Earthers would be enough."
G'Kar: "Enough for us. Not for you. We do not casually entangle ourselves in the affairs of other species."

Centauri policy:
Londo: "Ah, I sympathise entirely, my dear. This is a difficult and distressing situation."
Father alien: "Will you help us?"
Londo: "Well, I would have to go to the Council, and request injunctive relief. The Council could have Commander Sinclair's decision set aside once he makes it, but I would have to get approval from my world. And I am certain that they would want me to justify the cost, yes?"
Father alien: "Cost?"
Londo: "Research. Committee hearings. All the necessary paperwork involved. Unfortunately, we are on a budget here. We cannot justify such expenses for non-Centauri. Just how much justice can you afford?"

The Minbari position:
Delenn: "I understand your frustration. It must be difficult for you to feel so powerless."
Mother alien: "You cannot imagine. We cannot eat, we cannot sleep. We can no longer focus our thoughts on our daily meditations. We are consumed by this. And no-one listens, no-one hears."
Delenn: "I cannot tell you how much all this troubles me."
Father alien: "Then you will help?"
Delenn: "We Minbari have our own relationship with the legerdemains of the Universe. Matters of the soul are very private, very personal to us. We have suffered the interference of others in this area, and are thus ourselves forbidden to intervene in matters such as this."
Mother alien: "You're refusing because of your beliefs?"
Father alien: "We thought the Minbari were the most intelligent of the races."
Mother alien: "We are only trying to save our child".
Delenn: "That is also what Dr. Franklin believes he is doing. Whose belief is correct, and how do we prove it? No. On this issue, the Minbari cannot take sides."

In the case of the Narn, G'Kar is only interested in building alliances, making allies and strengthening his people's position in the Council, and indeed in the galaxy. Interestingly, he is led in this direction anyway - not that this is not the standpoint he would have spoken from anyway - by the way in which the aliens approach him, commenting on the strength of the Narn and asking for their protection: asylum, of a sort. Kosh of course is not worth noting. The Vorlons could care less about the affairs of other races than they do about ants, and unless they are seen as important or connected to their plans, they may as well not be there. However, the mother's question put to Kosh is telling, as she asks him what if it were he that the doctor wanted to operate on, without his permission? This is of course exactly what happened in the pilot, albeit in different circumstances.

Londo can always be counted on to want to see the bottom line. The Centauri are all about profit and loss, and do little if anything that does not benefit them in one way or another. As the ambassador to Babylon 5, Londo tells the aliens he only has a modest budget, and like any bureaucrat must justify any expenses he incurs. His closing remarks could be taken out of the mouth of any high-priced lawyer here on Earth. And when Delenn speaks of interference from others in the spiritual matters of the Minbari, she is obviously referring to the soul hunters, who collected the souls of so many of their great leaders, preventing them reaching whatever afterlife awaits them. It is somewhat hypocritical of the mother to castigate Delenn though for using her beliefs as a reason not to help: is she not trying to do the same thing, in reverse? So as always with religion and faith, it's fine for us to do it but not for you.
 
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Note: I'm having serious issues trying to post the next episode so until I can get this sorted I'll just leave this here to mark the spot. Sorry but I've tried everything so maybe Hobbit or someone can contact me and see if they can work out what the problem is in the text. Thanks. Until then I'll move on.



Season 1: "Three million years from Earth..."

Episode 4: "Waiting for God"

Holly's joke: The most interesting event that happened recently was that Lister pretended he passed the chef's exam, although really he failed. That gives you some idea of how truly exciting some days can be around here.

Rimmer orders Holly to give him access to the crew's confidential reports, and is happy when he hears Captain Hollister's remarks about Lister, less than complimentary. However, he is less than pleased to hear his own report, which is little better. Holly tells Rimmer that he has detected a UO (Unidentified Object), but Rimmer stalks off in a huff. Meanwhile, Lister is reading a book the Cat has given him; Cats read differently than humans, by sniffing scents impregnated into the paper on their books. As he is reading, Talkie the Toaster bemoans the fact that no-one wants to eat toast.

Rimmer comes in, and is more than annoyed that Lister is using his clothes. Even though he's dead, he doesn't like Lister taking his things. The two discuss the possibility that they are alone in the cosmos. The Cat returns with the Holy Book, which tells the Cat people's history, and Lister sees that there are pictures in this one, which depict him as Cloister, the Cats' god. All the facts fit, and in truth this is the case --- Lister is their god, but the Cat scoffs at the idea. Lister asks Holly to translate the Holy Book for him, and Holly says he'll give it a go.

Rimmer runs in, excited and tells Lister that the UO is in fact a pod. Lister goes into the quarantine, and when Rimmer tells him he's to stay there for a month, he walks right out again. When Rimmer goes off to get the scutters, Lister discovers that the pod is in fact one of Red Dwarf's old garbage pods! He asks Holly why he didn't tell Rimmer, and Holly replies that "Well, it's a laugh, innit?" Later, Lister and Rimmer discuss their beliefs, and Lister puts forward the theory that humans may be regarded as a galactic disease, with the result that aliens stay away from Earth. Rimmer, however, dreams of aliens giving him a new body...

The next morning, Holly has deciphered the Holy Book, and reveals that indeed Lister and Cloister are the one person. He tells Lister of a great war that broke out on Red Dwarf between the Cats, as they took Lister's plan to open a hotdog stand on Fiji as their holy doctrine. The Cats fought over the colour the hats were supposed to be that they would wear in the diner, and after the war the two factions piled into space arks, one of them smashing into an asteroid, having used Lister's old laundry list as their starchart! Rimmer has no sympathy or time for Lister, who is somewhat shaken by the amount of destruction and carnage his plan has caused.

Finding no joy with Rimmer, Lister heads off in search of the Cat, and comes across him in the cargo bay, in company with an old priest, who regrets wasting his life living the way Cloister preached, and now no longer believes that his god exists. Lister appears to him, dressed as Cloister, and tells the old man that he has in fact performed well, and will be received into Fiji as a loyal worshipper.

Back at the quarantine room, Rimmer waits with bated breath to see the emergence of the Quagaars (a name for the aliens he has made up!), and is a little miffed when Lister draws from the garbage pod.... a rancid chicken carcass!

Notes:
This is where you really start to appreciate that Red Dwarf is more than just a comedy series, indeed, more than just a sci-fi series. Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, the creators and writers of the series, have set up a whole mythology and religion for the race known as Felis sapiens or Cats. But they've put it together in a way that is weirdly logical, if you look at it, and if you don't have all the facts. In fairness, we can't really scoff can we, when some of us revere the memory of, as Douglas Adams once put it, "a guy who was nailed to a tree for saying for great it would be to be nice to each other for a change", and others who believe their god wants them to kill in his name? In fact, in my view, all religion sucks, as Lister points out in this episode when he says of the Cats: "They're just using religion as an excuse to be crappy to each other!" to which Talkie the Toaster replies, "So what else is new?"

But the Cat mythos is all built around a real event, if somewhat distorted through the lens of three millennia of their history. Lister --- whose name has become corrupted to Cloister (perhaps because he was cloistered away in stasis, perhaps not) --- did indeed save his cat Frankenstein's life. She was pregnant, and due to his sacrifice was able to give birth and basically begin a bloodline that would one day lead to the emergence of a sapient species, of whom we believe the creature currently known as Cat is the last survivor. Yea, as it is written in the Holy Book: Cloister, the Holy One, who gave of his life that we might be saved. In a twisted, very funny way, it all fits.

But because Lister was and is such a slob, Frankenstein (or her later sentient descendants) taught their offspring to emulate his ways: be lazy, eat food that's bad for you, never wash, and so on --- none of which of course Dave had ever envisioned happening or he might have explained to them that his life choices weren't for everyone. The Cats then inevitably as they became more humanoid had a war, splitting into two factions and after the war leaving Red Dwarf in search of "Fyushal" (Fiji), their Promised Land. Sadly, one faction used Lister's old laundry list, believing it to be a star chart, and flew straight into an asteroid!

When Lister and the Cat meet the old Cat priest belowdecks he has been left behind, in a typical cat move, because he is old and infirm, and the other cats did not want to have to look after him: cats are of course notoriously selfish. Quite how he's survived down there is not clear --- though it appears the Cat (our Cat) has been bringing him food, and anyway how did he survive on his own for as long as he did before Lister was revived, having no access to Red Dwarf's computers and thus no way of getting food? That's never explained, but cats are hunters and we assume he was able to catch enough food to remain healthy. Of course, there's then the question too of how he manages to keep looking so cool and unruffled if he's foraging for food, but I guess that's one of the never-to-be-solved mysteries of the universe!

There is a change in the script here, and it's pretty obvious, but maybe it can be explained, like much of the Cats' teachings, by the details changing with the passage of time and the story being handed down from generation to generation. Lister's original plan, which he confided to Rimmer in the first episode, is to have a farm on Fiji, however here the Cats have decided it was to open a hotdog stand. It's a small point, but without the change the war would not have made sense, as the main point of contention was over the colour of the hats to be worn. Wouldn't really have worked with a farm, and can you really see Cats labouring on the land?

Best lines/quotes/scenes

Rimmer asks Holly for his confidential report:


RIMMER: "Holly, give me access to the crew's confidential reports."
HOLLY: "Those are for the Captain's eyes only, Arnold."
RIMMER: "Fine. Well, we'll give him ten seconds to come back from the dead, and if he hasn't managed it, we'll presume I'm in charge." (Waits) "No, he hasn't managed it."
HOLLY: (With resignation) "Whose do you want?"
RIMMER: "Give me ... give me Lister's. Just the remarks."
HOLLY: "David Lister, Technician, 3rd class. Captain's remarks: Has requested sick leave due to diarrhea on no less than 500 occasions. Left his previous job as a supermarket trolley attendant after ten years because he didn't want to get tied down to a career. Promotion prospects: zero."
RIMMER: "I always liked Captain Hollister. Such a great reader of men, was Captain Hollister. A marvellous, marvellous man and a tragic loss to us all. All right, Holly, give me ... give me mine."
HOLLY: "Arnold Rimmer, Technician, 2nd Class. Captain's remarks: There's a saying amongst the officers: If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to Rimmer. He aches for responsibility but constantly fails the engineering exam."
RIMMER: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Holly, Holly. I want my report. Rimmer. Two M's, E, R."
HOLLY: "Astoundingly zealous. Possibly mad. Probably has more teeth than brain cells. Promotion prospects: comical."
RIMMER: "No no no no no, Holly. I want Rimmer. That's two R's, one at the front, one at the back."
HOLLY: "Arnold, this is your report."
RIMMER: "I always hated that pus-head Hollister. He always resented my popularity. That's why he never put forward my proposal to reduce the minimum haircut length by an eighth of an inch. Small-minded, petty-thinking modo."
HOLLY: "Arnold, I'm picking up an unidentified object."
RIMMER: "Constantly fails the exam? I'd hardly call eleven times constantly. I mean, if you eat roast beef eleven times in your life, one would hardly say that person constantly eats roast beef. No, it would be a rare, nay, freak occurrence. Possibly mad? What is he dribbling about?"



Rimmer is angry that Lister has borrowed one of his shirts:


RIMMER: "What's that down the front?"
LISTER: (Checking the various stains) "That's definitely biscuit, um, that's custard, that's definitely ink, and just general sort of dirty marks."
RIMMER: "You can't just go through my possessions!"
LISTER: "Come on, you don't need them any more."
RIMMER: "Because I'm dead?"
LISTER: "Yeah. You're a hologram, and holograms don't need clothes."
RIMMER: "They're my things, Lister! Would you steal verruca cream from a man with no feet? I mean, how would you like it if I stole your T-shirt? Your favourite one, with the custard stains down the front?"
LISTER: "I wouldn't care".
RIMMER: "You've got no right to go through my wardrobe."
LISTER: "OK, OK. (Grins) "You keep your underpants on coathangers, don't ya?"
RIMMER: "That's private!"
LISTER: "OK, Rimmer, OK. Take the shirt back."
RIMMER: "I don't want it. It's ruined. You've (shudders) sweated in it!"
LISTER: "Well, if you don't want the shirt, what do you want, Rimmer?"
RIMMER: "Just keep out of my things, all right?"

Lister waxes philosophical about the possibility of life in the universe:

LISTER: "Rimmer, there's nothing out there, you know. There's nobody out there. No alien monsters, no Zargon warships, no beautiful blondes with beehive hairdos who say, "Show me some more of this Earth thing called kissing." There's just you, me, the Cat, and a lot of floating smegging rocks. That's it. Finito."

Tha Cat shows Rimmer his "shiny thing"...

CAT: "Hey! You can't have my shiny thing! I found it, it's my shiny thing."
RIMMER: "What are you dribbling about?"
CAT: (Pulls out a silver yo-yo) "This is my shiny thing, and if you try and take it off me, I may have to eat you."
RIMMER: "It's a yo-yo, you modo."
CAT: "It does two amazing things. One, you have the shiny thing at the top, and the string down below, or, and this is the clever part, you have the string at the top, and the shiny thing down here where the string used to be."
RIMMER: "Yeah ... woweeee! You haven't the slightest clue what it's for, do you?"
CAT: "Why sure I do, grease stain. You hold the shiny thing in one hand, and you go ... aaaooowww! The string's moving! Hey! Stop that thing! Catch that string! Aaaooowww!"

Lister reads the Cats' Holy Book and finds out he is their god...

LISTER: "This is me!"

The picture depicts a noble-looking individual, vaguely resembling
Lister, wearing biblical-style robes and carrying a black cat (an
ordinary cat, not a humanoid cat) on his shoulder. Above his head is a
doughnut-shaped halo.

CAT: "No, that's not you, that's Cloister. He was the father of the Cat people. He lived years ago, at the Beginning."
LISTER: (Turns the page) "Who's that?"

The next picture shows the same guy (without the cat) sitting lotus-style
inside what seems to be a giant ice cube.

CAT: "That's him frozen in time."
LISTER: "No, that's me! I was sent into stasis. That's what "frozen in time" is."
CAT: "He did that to save Frankenstein."
LISTER: "Look, Frankenstein was my pet cat! (Points back and forth between himself and the picture) "Look: Lister, Cloister. Cloister, Lister! See?"
CAT: "Listen, you stupid monkey, Cloister's another name for ... for God!"
LISTER: "That's what I'm saying! I am your God!"

CAT looks LISTER up and down. He's not impressed. (Well, who would be?)

CAT: "OK." (Points to his bowl of crispies) "Turn this into a woman."
LISTER: "I'm serious."
CAT: "So am I!"
LISTER: "Look, Frankenstein was my pet cat, right? And she was pregnant. Now, I got put into suspended animation. I was supposed to be there for 18 months, but I didn't get out for three million years."
CAT: "You oversleep? So do I."
LISTER: "No! What I'm saying is that over those three million years, your entire race of people evolved from my pet cat."
CAT: "Ah, I gotta go now, man. But let's do lunch sometime. I'll put it in my diary: 12:30, lunch with God. And, ah, formal dress, you know what I'm saying?"
LISTER: "It is true, you know."
CAT: "Yeah? Then I gotta ask you the ultimate question. If you're God, why that face?"

Lister works out what the "UO" --- the pod --- really is:

LISTER: "Give me an R, give me an E, give me a D ... give me a Red Dwarf Garbage Pod! Holly? Did Rimmer never work in waste disposal?"
HOLLY: "No, Dave."
LISTER: "It's one of our Red Dwarf garbage pods with, like, the writing burnt off in places. Why didn't you tell him?"
HOLLY: "Well, it's a laugh, innit?"

Rimmer, blissfully unaware of what it is, ruminates on what might be inside the pod, and on the nature of, again, intelligent life in the cosmos:

RIMMER: "You can scoff, Lister. That's nothing new. They laughed at Galileo. They laughed at Edison. They laughed at Columbo."
LISTER: "Who's Columbo?"
RIMMER: "The man with the dirty mac who discovered America."
LISTER: "What makes you think these aliens exist?"
RIMMER: "They must do, Lister! There's so many things that are strange and odd. So many things we don't have any explanation for."
LISTER: "Like, um, why do intelligent people buy cinema hot dogs? Do you mean that sort of weird and mysterious thing?"
RIMMER: "No, Lister, I mean like the pyramids. How did they move such massive pieces of stone without the aid of modern technology?"
LISTER: "They had massive whips, Rimmer. Massive, massive whips."
RIMMER: "All right, then, the Bermuda Triangle. Go on, explain that one. You know all the answers."
LISTER: "No, I agree there. That is a genuine mystery. How did a song like that ever become a hit? It defies all reason."
RIMMER: "I just don't know why I bother. I'd get more sense out of a squashed hedgehog. Lister, don't you ever stop and wonder: why are we here? What's the grand purpose?"
LISTER: "Why does it have to be such a big deal? Why can't it be like, like, human beings are a planetary disease? Like the Earth's got German measles or facial herpes, right? And that's why all of the other planets give us such a wide berth. It's like, "Oh, don't go near Earth! It's got human beings on it, they're contagious!"
RIMMER: "So you're saying, Lister, you're an intergalactic, pus-filled cold sore! At last, Lister, we agree on something."
LISTER: "What do you believe in, then? Do you believe in God?"
RIMMER: "God? Certainly not! What a preposterous thought! I believe in aliens, Lister."
LISTER: "Oh, right, fine. Something sensible at last."
RIMMER: "Aliens, Lister, with technology so far in advance of our own we can't even begin to imagine."
LISTER: "Well, that's not difficult. Mankind hasn't even got the technology to create a toupee that doesn't get big laughs."
RIMMER: "Aliens, Lister, who can give me a real body."
LISTER: "Ooohhh, I can't wait to see your face in the morning, I really can't."
RIMMER: "And nor I yours, Lister. When that pod opens and from it emerges a beautiful alien woman with long green hair and six breasts."
LISTER: "Six breasts?! Imagine making love to a woman with six breasts!"
RIMMER: "Imagine making love to a woman!"

Having asked Holly to translate the Cats' Holy Book for him, Lister learns the full truth of what their beliefs are, or were:

LISTER: "Who's Cloister? Is it me?"
HOLLY: "Yes, Dave. The Cats have made you their God."
LISTER: "Hey! Working class kid makes good!"
HOLLY: "Your plan to buy a farm on Fiji and open up a hot dog and doughnut diner has become their image of heaven." (Trollheart's note: this is perhaps a hollow attempt by the writers to claim that Lister's plan all along was to run a farm AND open up a diner. Well if it was he certainly didn't mention it to Rimmer...)
LISTER: "What?"
HOLLY: "And Cloister spake, `Lo, I shall lead you to Fyushal, and there we shall open a temple of food, wherein shall be sausages and doughnuts and all manner of bountiful things.Yea, even individual sachets of mustard. And those who serve shall have hats of great majesty, yea, though they be made of coloured cardboard and have humorous arrows through the top.'"
LISTER: "Does it say what happened to the rest of the Cats?"
HOLLY: "Holy wars. There were thousands of years of fighting, Dave, between the two factions."
LISTER: "What two factions?"
HOLLY: "Well, the ones who believed the hats should be red, and the ones who believed the hats should be blue."
LISTER: "Do you mean they had a war over whether the doughnut diner hats were red or blue?"
HOLLY: "Yeah. Most of them were killed fighting about that. It's daft really, innit?"
LISTER: "You're not kidding. They were supposed to be green! Go on, Hol."
HOLLY: "Well, finally they called a truce, and built two arks and left Red Dwarf in search of Fyushal."
LISTER: "But there's no such place as Fyushal. It's Fiji. I mean, how are they supposed to find it?"
HOLLY: "And Cloister gave to Frankenstein the sacred writing, saying, `Those who have wisdom will know its meaning.' And it was written thus: `Seven socks, one shirt--'"
LISTER: "That's my laundry list! I lined the cat's basket with me laundry list!"
HOLLY: The Blue Hats thought it was a star chart leading to the promised land."
LISTER: "Well it wasn't, it was my dirty washing.What happened next, Hol?"
HOLLY: "And the ark that left first followed the sacred signs, and lo, they flew straight into an asteroid. And the righteous in the second ark flew ever onward, knowing they were indeed righteous."
 
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This is a little out of date, but still fun to read. What do you mean? I had fun once. I distinctly remember. It was awful.

Around 2013 I started taking note of TV series I was either watching or had watched, or intended to watch, and spoke about them here. I may continue this, but for now I find it interesting to come across it and see how my tastes have changed, if at all, and whether shows I either missed or discounted turned out, if I watched them later, to have deserved such treatment.

In cases where I ended up watching something I say here that I originally did not, I'll update the notes.

So then, seven years later, let's see what old Trollheart was watching, or intending to watch, or avoiding watching...

Unforgettable - Sorry it may have been, but a major systems malfunction on my Sky Box meant I lost the whole series, so whether it was any good or not I don't know. The premise was interesting: Carrie Wells is a detective with the unusual - though hardly supernatural - ability to remember everything she sees and hears, this talent supposedly coming in handy in her role as a detective. I guess. Looks to be coming back for a second season, though that is of course no indication it was any good. If I catch it again I'll give it another shot. Note: I did not, though I tried later but space was at a premium and I deleted it without having watched it. Maybe some time in the future...

The Newsroom
- Now this I loved, but then I expected to, when Mama Sorkin's little boy is involved! A sort of an upgraded Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip with elements of The West Wing in it, I thoroughly enjoyed it and am glad to see it's returning too, in June. Even if the obligatory English female character did get up my nose. Note: watched this to the end and still loved every moment. Ended well, considering.

Lost Girl
- Heard good things about it, but it also became a victim of the Great Crash of '12, so I lost it all. Currently on season 2 on SyFy, but it's reported to be so weird that I have no intention of jumping in a season late, so will have to wait till it either airs again from the start or I get round to downloading it. I reckon I would like it though, so it's a pity it went bye-bye... Note: Tried a second time last year, but again space was tight so it got sacrificed. Would still like to see it some time.

Being Human
- Although this is currently in something like season four or five, I finally managed to get a look at season one and I really liked what I saw. Like Lost Girl, now waiting for someone to show season two or I may download it, but with so much to watch I'm in no hurry to do so just at the moment.
Note: did download it, have yet to watch it.

A Touch of Cloth
-
Lost to the crash. I would have liked to have seen it, hopefully will some day. It sounded good: a kind of satire on all those cop shows you either watch and love or laugh at. Note: Did get to see it finally, and loved every minute. Wish there was more. Highly recommended.

Sinbad - Was really looking forward to this but, yes you guessed it, thank you Sky it got erased and I never got to see it. It's on the list for future viewing. Probably be in season two by the time I get around to it... Note: Never got a second season but the first was excellent. Glad I got to see it.

Teen Wolf
-
Damn damn damn! Had both seasons one AND two, and all lost in the great crash! Gaah! Okay, calm, calm... hope to catch this again some day from the start. Note: Never did.

Good Cop
-
Watched three out of four episodes of this. Thought it was okay but by the third I was so bored and unimpressed with it that I really couldn't see it ending any other way than the way I saw it ending and so didn't bother finishing it. Got erased on purpose, and looking back on it now, the first three episodes weren't all that great. In the end, not a very original show when it had promised much.

And that's the roundup. So, what have I been watching recently? What's caught my eye and impressed me enough to hit the green button and series link it? And what's made me yawn and just hit delete? Here are some of the ones I've been looking at.

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Bid and Destroy

Another in the long line of "interesting jobs that might make an interesting programme" shows that have come out of the likes of History, NatGeo and Discovery in the last few years. Some have been good (Pawn Stars, American Restoration, Storage Wars etc) and some not so good (Hard Core Pawn*) but most of these shows I do like. This one concerns two "demo" guys (annoys me because everyone knows demo is short for demonstration, but they use it for demolition) who bid to, well, demolish houses and other buildings, and are allowed to keep anything they find. The balance they have to strike between bidding low enough to get the job and still either making a profit or breaking even, and the score they hope to make in the retrieval of items from the property is quite interesting, and there's a sort of sense of suspense as they knock down walls, open doors and investigate attics and cellars to see if there are treasures therein. Definitely worth a look, and passes a half hour pleasantly.

Verdict:
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I was looking forward to this and I haven't been disappointed. The story of the building of the US railroad with all the pitfalls, fights, obstacles and deaths thrown in, along with a heady mix of political corruption, greed and betrayal, with a healthy slice of revenge on the side. Star Anson Mount is chilling as the main character, reminding me of John wotsit from the game "Red Dead Redemption" (why isn't that available for the PC? and Star Trek's Colm Meaney a revelation as the scheming, conniving and unscrupulous man in charge of building the railroad. There's a subplot interwoven with the railroad story as Bohannon, the main character, is an ex-Rebel seeking to bring to swift and brutal justice the men who killed his wife in the Civil War.

Renewed for a second season, which I'm currently watching (the first only having been an odd 10 episodes long) I see it's now got a third, which is great news. One of my favourite shows at the moment, both authentic and gritty, with quite the blurring of the lines between "good" and "bad" guys. Note: Lost my place in this around I think season four, but not quite sure so it's hard to pick it up again. Must try to sort this out and see the rest, as it was a great series.

Verdict:
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Grave Trade


Another "fly-on-the-wall" documentary-style show in the vein of the likes of A Life of Grime or Ax Men, Grave Trade is an odd one. Just recently begun, it goes behind the scenes at one of Britain's oldest undertakers, showing us everything from the preparation of coffins to the embalming of bodies. In fairness, anything showing a dead body is blurred out - remember, these are real people even if they're no longer with us - and there is a very deep sense of respect running through the show. There's no way it aims to poke fun at or make light of the traumatic ordeal of a funeral, or the absolute mind-numbing pain of losing a loved one. But even so...

I wonder about it. I watched a few episodes and it's certainly interesting, but as a matter of course every episode has featured a real funeral, and I kind of feel like I'm intruding on people's private grief. I know they have obviously given their permission for the footage to be used, but nevertheless, it just seems, I don't know, unpleasant or tasteless somehow. It's got a lot going for it, but to make the subject of funerals, coffins and corpses palatable is a tall order, and I'm not sure they're going to manage it. To be honest, I can't see this lasting past one season, though of course I could be wrong: the public's desire for taboo subjects in television is well documented, and it may end up being a winner.

But I think I may find it hard to continue. I'm probably going to watch the two or three episodes I have recorded on my box, and make a decision after that. It's not that I'm squeamish (though I am) - that really has nothing to do with this, as like I say they're very careful to not show anything you wouldn't really want to see, like embalming or an actual shot of someone in their coffin. It's more a case of personal taste. I can't really watch something if I'm not comfortable with the subject matter, and this is a programme that is, I have to admit, making me feel more uncomfortable each episode I view. Note: Looks like I was wrong, and it got at least a second season. No accounting for taste. Me, I gave it up soon after reading this. Just too, well, ghoulish I felt.

Verdict: Undecided


Outlaw Empires


THIS I love! Kurt Sutter, creator of Sons of Anarchy, is granted unprecedented access to the men and the stories behind some of the world's biggest and baddest gangs. Interviewing past members, he makes it clear from the start that he is not judging, nor condoning what he is told: he's simply giving the ex-members the chance to tell their stories. And what stories! The first two episodes focused on the Boston Irish Mob and Nuestra Familia, the Mexican mafia. Some of the stories are just incredible, like the guy who was so devoted to the mob that he agreed to help murder his own mother!

Kurt Sutter has gained a great amount of respect it would seem among gang members for the sympathetic and yet authentic way he has presented the biker gangs in Sons of Anarchy, and there really could only be one person who would manage a project like this. It doesn't look to be too long, six episodes I think, but they seem to pack a hell of a lot of history into each episode. Miss at your peril!

Verdict:
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Note: More problems. Sorry for the unnecessary bolded text above; I can't seem to get rid of it.
On we proceed regardless.

Continuum
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Started off promisingly, in a dystopian future (don't you just love those?) but quickly (and more cost-efficiently) relocated to the present day, where a cop from the future tries to track down several criminals who have escaped justice in her time. The whole "fish-out-of-water" thing works for about half an episode, then suddenly everyone acclimatises to their situation and we end up with what is basically a cop show with some futuristic or sci-fi elements.

Add to that the ridiculous way the criminals are first shown to be noble freedom fighters battling a repressive government run by mega-corporations, then quite pointlessly become bloodthirsty desperadoes, forcing you to change your originally somewhat sympathetic view of them. Cardboard characters acting out a one-dimensional cop series that tries to take itself seriously as a sci-fi programme but fails miserably. I soon gave up. I see it's being renewed for another season. Just shows you. (Note: And shows what I know - reviewed for a further two, four in all...)

Verdict:
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Homeland
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I've always liked Damian Lewis since I saw him in the quirky, one-season Life, and here he shows just how versatile an actor he can be. You surely know the show: it's won Emmys and been voted one of the best shows of the year, and quite rightly in my opinion. Although not an original idea - it's a rewrite of an Israeli series called Prisoner of War, which I'm really annoyed I just missed the first showing of - but it's a great subject. In case you've been living on Mars for the last year or so, it concerns a US soldier who is found alive when he was presumed dead. He returns to the US as a hero but nobody knows he has been turned, and is working for his erstwhile captors to bring down the US Government. No-one, that is, except one CIA operative, and she has a history of mental illness, so who's going to listen to her?

Heading into its third season, this is a show you should really make time to see. If you thought 24 was unrealistic (it was), this is on the far end of the scale. A human story as much as a terrorist one, it's a programme that successfully blurs the lines between what is a freedom fighter and what is a terrorist, even what is a patriot, and asks some unsettling questions. It's also a deep journey into one man's mind, to see what makes him turn against his country, and if he is in fact justified in doing so. (Note: finished this year on its eighth season, and obviously Lewis is now best known not only for this, but for the slick high finance thriller Billions too.)

Verdict:
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Yes Prime Minister (reboot)

I like a good political satire, and over twenty years ago, no-one did it better than Yes Prime Minister and its prequel Yes Minister. Now that show has been revitalised for the twenty-first century, but rather than being a simple "re-imagining" of the original, it's got the writers who created the first series working on it, so in every sense possible it's the new, improved Yes Prime Minister.

So they say. But I don't know. When something is as loved and deeply ingrained in the TV audience's consciousness as this series, how can you really remake it? It would be like trying to resurrect Last of the Summer Wine or Fawlty Towers with a whole new cast. Doesn't sound likely. And yet to a degree this is working, mostly due to two things: firstly, writers Anthony Jay and Jonathan Lynn have duplicated the situation of the coalition government currently in power in Britain, and have relocated their new Jim Hacker, the PM, to Chequers, country retreat of the PM, with his duplicitous Permanent Private Secretary, Sir Humphrey Appleby to keep an eye on him.

The second thing is that the spirit of the original show has been kept very much alive, with Sir Humphrey running vocabularistic rings around poor old Hacker, and confusing him so much that the PM often doesn't know what he's doing. They've also kept in the long, rambling, often almost incomprehensible speeches Sir Humphrey will sometimes give in answer to a simple question, and they're minor masterpieces in themselves. However, moving with the times they've included a female character, and really I don't see her working as other than, well, a token female.

Time will tell if the new show will end up being as popular as the old one, but let's be honest about this: the new guys have got some pretty big shoes to fill! (Note: All I can say is that this premiered in 2013, ran for six episodes and has not been heard from since...)

Verdict:
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Suits

This is a very clever show about what we would call here in Ireland a "chancer", a con-man who blags his way into a law firm without ever even having attended law school, never mind graduate! He has however an analytical mind and a seemingly photographic memory, and he soon begins to not only learn from his new boss but teach him a thing or two about morals and ethics himself.

Sounds a little hackneyed yes, and to be fair it is, but the style and wit of the show save it from descending into being just "another show about lawyers", and god knows we've plenty of them! The leads are charismatic, the stories interesting and the subplots engaging. Suits also throws you the odd curveball, so that when you think a story will end happily it doesn't, which makes it in my book a little more realistic than a lot of the shows out there, legal or otherwise.

Finished the first season and I see the second is about to start, so looking forward to that. (Note: eventually ran for nine seasons. Another one I lost track of).

Verdict:
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Terra Nova

Surprisingly, for something a) created by Steven Spielberg and b) touted by all my favourite sci-fi mags as being the next big thing, this bored the hell out of me. The idea in itself is not too bad: Earth is overcrowded, to the point that people are restricted as to how many children they can have and they live in cubicle-like apartments. The discovery of time travel allows those who want to start a new life to travel back to the Triassic or Cetaceus or something period - the time the dinosaurs were stomping around, anyway - and re-colonise the planet in that time, to try to build a new world which will avoid the mistakes of the current one. Only one catch: the time machine only works in reverse so the trip is strictly one-way. If you change your mind later, tough: you can never go home.

Well, two catches really. The other is that it's crap. I was bored by the fourth episode and just deleted the rest of the ones on my box. I found I couldn't care less about the characters, which is never a good thing and always a good indication as to my own level of interest and investment in the series. It seemed to be moving too slow, and you know, the idea wasn't bad if a bit Jurassic Park; maybe if I'd given it a chance it might have developed.

But I'm a busy man and have much to watch. If something doesn't hook me from the third or fourth episode I have to assume that it's not going to, and that's when I press the delete button. As I did here. (Note: Looks like I was right. Even the heavyweight power of Spielberg couldn't save this turd and it lasted only one season before being axed. For once, I applaud the network execs!)

Verdict:
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Another show lacking in the originality stakes but still coming up trumps is this one, where a con-man is given the chance to cut short his sentence by working with an FBI agent to catch a fellow conman. Sure, we've all seen 48 Hours and we all know the maxim "set a thief to catch a thief", but again White Collar is one of those new breed of hip, sexy, intelligent, snappy shows that while it dazzles you with its glitz and glamour has yet something underneath the gloss.

The old idea of the young gun teaming up with the grizzled veteran is certainly not a new one, but the twist that some of the crimes they investigate are similar to ones the conman has perpetrated, and that he knows most of the people in the shady world of the hustle is pretty cool. In fact, pretty cool really describes this show. It's hard not to like Matthew Bomer in the lead role and like Suits you kind of root for him even if he is technically the bad guy. Decent subplot in it too.

Going into season four I believe, so obviously very successful; over this side of the water we're just about to hit season two. So lots to look forward to!

Verdict:
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There just aren't too many new ideas out there, are there? Again from the mind of Spielberg, this show takes place against the backdrop not only of an alien invasion, but of the defeat of humanity and their attempts to mount a belated resistance and "take their planet back".

Yeah. It's just that, rather like his other series, I didn't feel this at all. In fact, compared to the lack of interest in and empathy with the characters in Terra Nova, this makes me feel like they were all good friends of mine. These guys are wooden, almost hilarious caricatures that could have popped up in any post-apocalyptic or alien invasion movie. Granted, I didn't give it much of a chance (again I think I survived four episodes before giving up) but again, I believe a show should hook you from the start. Look at the shows I'm featuring here - Babylon 5, Red Dwarf, Supernatural, Spooks - these all pulled me in from episode one and did not let go until there was no more to consume. In the case of Supernatural I'm still catching up, though happy to do so.

Rather surprisingly to me, this has been awarded a third season recently. Maybe it's the name of the Big S that's doing it, because unless I really missed something in later episodes, it's not the characters. Or the story. Or the setting. Or the aliens. No, not even the aliens can save this, for me. (Note: Ended up with five seasons. Go figure huh?)

Verdict:
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You know a show is not going to appeal to you when you hate every character and wish they'd die. I had hoped this might be a bit of a laugh, a bit satirical but it tries too hard. I think it wants to be Hustle but fails miserably. The premise is that the main cast are all lawyers who go in to downsize, reorganise and try to save companies, or at least, the big fat salaries of their big fat bosses. But instead of pointing out how immoral such firms are, the series seems to glory in the fact that the company can charge its poor (not really) clients anything they want, from first-class airfares and five-star hotel rooms to tabs at strip joints, and no-one will say boo to them.

One of the characters thinks he's God's gift to women, one is a bit of a nerd and one is just so cocksure and arrogant that you want to punch him in the face. And that's Don Cheadle! Man I just got so sick and tired of him doing a Hustle to the camera, where everything freezes and he explains, "breaking the fourth wall" as it were, what they're up to. In the end, I don't care. All you're doing is saving bloated megacorporations millions of dollars while their underpaid workers get laid off so the boss can have his six homes and his fat pension. I KNOW it's just a show, but this really goes on, and I don't think making it funny works, especially when the series does nothing to challenge the perception that everything is for sale, and nobody's feelings get in the way of the deal.

Verdict:
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If you want your crime drama actually dripping with corruption, this is your show! I've seen the first season, missed the second (twice! D'oh!) and seen the third, which was subtitled "The Golden Mile". All I can say is it's gritty in a way crime shows usually are not, with really shady and yet sympathetic characters on both sides of the law, though in TGM there is very little to feel sympathy with, at least as far as the cops are concerned.

Even more shocking is the fact that this is all based on true life events so when you see someone come running up to a van and shoot another guy in front of his kids, or when there's a drive-by in the middle of the day, bullets glass and blood everywhere, this ain't fiction. It really happened that way, and although names may have been changed in some cases, in most they're not, as the voiceover tells you what happened to them (serving life, killed in a disco, run over, on the run etc) so you really feel a chilling connection to well pretty much most of the characters. Think The Wire is tough and realistic? Try this! (Note: eventually ran to six seasons, have not seen them all yet).

Verdict:
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Four lads head off to Spain to meet their old buddy, who has made it and has invited them over for a holiday at his expense. There is, however, no such thing as a free lunch and the boys quickly realise that not all is as it seems, as they become embroiled in some very unsavoury dealings that leave them quite literally running for their lives! Boasting some major stars in the likes of John Simm (Life on Mars/Doctor Who), Philip Glenister (Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes), Max Beesley (Survivors) and Marc Warren (Hustle) this is a clever, well-written tale with a twist that turns the old idea of the booze cruise on its head.

Currently running into season three, it's been very well received and though the original premise looks like it may be in danger of being stretched to breaking point, it will be interesting to see how season three develops, and if they decide to leave it there. I mean, how much more trouble can four gullible guys from England get into abroad? (Note: They finally ran it to four seasons, and it ended... well, it ended, let's just leave it at that, as I don't want to spoil it for anyone).

Verdict:
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Oh yes, we know all about the beautiful, sleek starships like The Heart of Gold, Enterprise and the White Star, but for every majestic queen of the stars there have been a dozen ragged, flung-together garbage scows that hardly deserve the name spaceship. Some are of course less ugly than others, but as the Cat from Red Dwarf would say: they are all UG-LEEE!

I haven't rated them, as I'm not really sure if JohnBoy's "flying boobs" from Battle Beyond the Stars looks worse than the Eagles from Space: 1999, so they're in no order. If you happen to retain any sad misplaced love for any of these ships, all I can say is take a look at this: now that's what a spaceship should look like! How much? A whole page full of noughts, with a one at the front. And worth every penny!

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(Note: sorry for the crappy picture: it is a lot harder than you would think to get a pic of the original TV series one, which was what I wanted. This was the best I could do...)

But these ships can't even dream, in their wildest fantasies, of being as gorgeous as The Heart of Gold, so maybe we should cut them a little slack, huh? Or not.

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First out of the craps, sorry traps, (no wait, I was right the first time!) is The Galactica. No, the original one, from the eighties sci-fi, er, drama of the same name. I mean, look at it: the last ark of humanity? It's more like the last-minute thrown-together project of some engineers who had no idea how to build a spaceship. And didn't.

Next, the ship that not only looked like it should have been aborted, but also carried one of the ugliest things ever to Earth. No, I know the Alien didn't get to our home planet, I'm not talking about that... Come on: who would you rather go out with, a slavering, slobbering alien three times your height with rows of razor-sharp fangs, dripping slime, or Sigourney Weaver? Yeah, thought so: me too. Alien every time. But the Nostromo just looks like a box with pipes attached...
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Then there are the Eagles. No, not the band! Sheesh! What kind of geek are you? Where's yer pride? Now in fairness the workhorses from Space: 1999 are not that ugly, they're just ... functional. Yeah. They have to look like that because all they do is haul .... ah, to hell with it: they're ugly as all get-out.
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Let's not forget though the mighty, er, Salvage One, from the ill-fated series of the same name. Looks like no self-respecting space pirate would even lower themselves to haul it in as salvage itself!
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But sometimes even famous ships can be ugly. I mean, we all love the Millennium Falcon, but let's be honest here: it's pretty much a flying magnet. And it's a flying magnet. Did I mention it's a flying magnet? Well it is. A flying magnet.
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But it's beauty personified compared to the, er, flying boobs from Battle Beyond the Stars. AND the ship is PINK! I mean, could you get any more mammocentric than this?
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And just to prove it's not only in crappy movies that you get crappy spaceships, here's Discovery One, from the seminal 2001: A Space Odyssey.
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A forest floating in space may be a great and worthy idea, but it makes one heck of an ugly spaceship! From Silent Running, this is Valley Forge.
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And what better to strike fear into the hearts of the rebels than ... a flying dart? No, no! It's an Imperial Star Destroyer! It's a flying dart. It's an Imperial Star Destroyer! It's a ...
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Or, indeed, a gigantic bug! That eats planets!
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Or how about a huge ugly spider?
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I'm sure there are more, and when I have a chance and feel like it I may run another selection. But that's enough ugliness for now. Let's finish with one truly beautiful spaceship, from one truly awful science-fiction series.

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? That last pic has gone AWOL. (A bit of right clickage and it turns out to be The Andromeda Ascendant - and Andromeda wasn't that awful. I'm watching season 1 and season 1 of ST:TNG with my Number One Son and Andromeda is winning.)

Personally I like ships that look like junk yards. I've never seen the point of all those wonderfully streamlined ships - The Valley Forge and the Eagles are what deep space ships should look like. Ok, you could argue that things going lightspeed fast (however you manage that) might want to be streamlined to deal with going through tenuous interstellar material but for bopping about the solar system, when you don't need to enter an atmosphere. Keep sticking on the Airfix kit spruing! The Heart of Gold just looks like a sanitary pad.
 
Hmm, I disagree. If I'm going to go up against xenomorphs I at least want to look good. How would it be if someone, looking at my mangled corpse, tsked "he flew in a piece of crap too"? Not so sure what your problem is with that pic, though when I looked for it in its original place not only was it not there but there was no indication as to what ship I was talking about (and I'm a little oblique as you can see) so I guessed at Andromeda, but I think I was right. Anyway I can see it. If anyone else can't please let me know and I'll see what I can do.

I will admit I've never seen the series, but Hercules in space doesn't appeal to me. If you think I'm pre-judging unfairly based on a not at all similar series, you're right. But I bet I am too.
 
I just see a grey "missing image" placeholder. When I trimmed the URL down to just the URL for the pic (ie stripped off everything after .jpg) it seems to work.

Andromeda_Ascendant.jpg
 
I just see a grey "missing image" placeholder. When I trimmed the URL down to just the URL for the pic (ie stripped off everything after .jpg) it seems to work.

Andromeda_Ascendant.jpg
Just the same here the place holder on Troll's post and the picture on yours. Perhaps it is sone sort of graphics size or number in the post or the amount of graphics a standard member can post per day or per xx number of minutes?
 
Don't think it's anything to do with posting limits. I'm sure it's to do with the URL pure and simple:

Code:
Before:

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/andromeda/images/2/27/Andromeda_Ascendant.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20091014201645

After:

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/andromeda/images/2/27/Andromeda_Ascendant.jpg

gives:


Before:

340


After:

Andromeda_Ascendant.jpg
 
See, to me that shows two identical pictures, just one larger than the other. I'll fix it now though.

Jesus Christ that is one hard image to even download successfully! Right, hopefully that should sort it. Thanks for pointing out the error, as it definitely did not show up on my side. Let me know if that doesn't work.
 
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I see it now.

Back on topic (ish) the only streamlined slick spaceship I really have time for is Moya from Farscape who (sic) is a living being so it makes sense she's organically shaped.
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Season One
1.06 "Skin"

An old friend of Sam's contacts him to ask for help. Her brother has been accused of murdering his girlfriend, but she doesn't believe he's capable of such a thing. Arriving at Rebecca Warren's house (Sam knows her as Becky) they investigate and are told there is a security tape which shows Zack arriving home just after 22:00, the murder having been committed a half-hour later. Becky tells them that although the tape clearly shows Zack arriving home at 22:30, he was with her till way after midnight. The brothers believe there might be a Doppelganger - an identical double - involved, which would explain the disparity and Zack's apparent ability to be two places at once.

With Sam pretending his brother is a detective, they ask to see Zack's house, and Becky admits she has the security tape - which was made with the CCTV in a store adjacent to her brother's house - that she took it from the lawyer's office. They all watch it and Sam and Dean notice Zack's eyes light with an eerie luminescence. There is also the matter of the next-door neighbour's dog, who, up until the murder, had been a pleasant and friendly animal but who now barks and growls at anyone who comes near. Dean realises that although the tape shows "Zack" entering the house it does not show him leaving. Meanwhile, the Doppelganger has struck again, this time attacking a woman who has been left at home while her husband goes to a meeting. Called back at the last moment by a cancelled flight, he is distraught to see his wife tied up and beaten, aghast as she shrinks from him as he frees her, pleading with him not to hurt her any more, and finally confronted by an exact double of himself, who knocks him out with a bat.

When the boys find out about this second incident, they realise they're not dealing with a Doppelganger after all, and change their hypothesis. Perhaps it's a shapeshifter, a creature able to assume any form it wants? But where is it going when it has killed? On both occasions the trail ended when the brothers tried to follow it, and Sam thinks maybe the sewers would be a viable way for the thing to get around, and an easy way to disappear once it's perpetrated its evil crimes. They go down into the sewers and find discarded skin, leading them to the conclusion that the shapeshifter may shed its skin as it changes.

They come across the thing in the sewers, and armed with the only thing that will kill a shapeshifter, a silver bullet, they go after it. It escapes though, and on the surface takes Dean's shape, trying to trick Sam into helping it. Sam is wise to it though and holds his gun trained on it, but there's a tiny smidgeon of doubt in his mind that this isn't really his brother, and he's unable to shoot the shapeshifter, allowing it to get the drop on him. The shapeshifter takes him to its lair and goes off to see if it, in Dean's form, can score with Becky. Meanwhile Sam hears Dean (the real Dean) groan and knows they've been imprisoned together. Great: two heads are better than one, and they're soon free.

In Becky's house, the shapeshifter tries to ingratiate himself with Becky, but she is suspicious. After all, prior to this she hadn't even known Dean, and it was his impersonation of a police officer that angered her so much she pulled them off the case, afraid it would damage her brother's upcoming trial. When the shapeshifter is unsuccessful at flirting with her however he goes for the direct approach, knocking her out and then tying her to a chair so he can cut her. However Sam and Dean know that the shapeshifter is likely to go for Rebecca, and phone in an anonymous tip to the police. A SWAT team is soon at the house, and the shapeshifter barely manages to escape.

However when Sam later thinks he's speaking to Rebecca, it is in fact the shapeshifter again (confusing, no?) and "she" knocks Sam out, and changes back into Dean's form, intending to kill Sam and have it blamed on his older brother. But the real Dean, who has re-entered the sewers and found the real Rebecca in the shapeshifter's lair, turns up just in time and shoots the creature in the heart with a silver bullet.

After explaining things to Rebecca as best they can, the boys leave. The murder Becky's brother was being tried for will be blamed now, unfortunately, on Dean, who the police now believe dead, as once the shapeshifter died it remained in Dean's form. Zack will be released, and Dean ruminates on how it sucks that he won't be able to be present at the burial of the shapeshifter. After all, how many people get to attend their own funeral?

MUSIC
Iron Butterfly: "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"
Lynyrd Skynyrd: "Poison Whiskey"
Filter: "Hey Man, Nice Shot"
Free: "All Right Now"

QUESTIONS?
None really: self-contained episode, although now that Becky knows what Sam and Dean do for a living, is that likely to make her a target of their enemies?

The "WTF??!" moment
Probably right at the beginning really, when we see the killer turn to face the SWAT team and it's ... Dean! Of course, later we learn the truth, that it's the shapeshifter in Dean's form, but it's quite a shock initially.

PCRs
Just the one: Dean mentions "the Vulcan mind meld?" A reference to the ability of the Vulcan race in Star Trek to communicate telepathically and read minds.

1.07 "Hook Man"

It's that old urban legend come to life: you know the one, where the boy and the girl are out dating and stop in a forest or somewhere. They hear a noise, the guy gets out, the girl hears banging on the roof of the car, turns out the guy is hanging and his feet are drumming on the roof? But this is Supernatural, and around here, urban legends always have their basis in horrific reality. So it proves with this one: a shadowy figure with a hook for an arm watches the lovers and although we don't see him attack the guy, it's pretty obvious that it's him who has strung up and killed the kid. The girl runs off.

Dean and Sam, reading about the case, think it could be an invisible creature, as the woman in the article, whose name is Lori Sorensen, says she saw nothing and no-one outside. They decide to investigate, and arrive at the campus Lori and her late boyfriend went to. When they talk to Lori and get the full story, they decide that it could be the Hook Man legend. Checking through records of arrest in the area over the last hundred or so years, they come across one of a preacher who was so incensed by the local prostitutes that he killed thirteen of them, and hung some of them upside-down from trees as a warning. His arm was also lost in an accident, and replaced by a hook. As a final confirmation, the incident took place at the same road as this murder occurred. Sounds like they have their man. Trouble is, this happened in 1862.

They go to check it out, but are arrested by the local sheriff for carrying firearms. Meanwhile Lori wakes from her slumber party to find her roommate dead, and scrawled in blood on the wall the words "Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?" - this refers to when she came home and found her roommate asleep (as she thought) and went straight to bed - along with four crosses. As Dean and Sam are released on the understanding that Sam was being hazed as a pledge, they see the police responding to a 911 and hear it's Lori again. Making their way into her house they wait till the cops are gone and find the writing on the wall, literally. They now know this is "classic Hook Man legend", but are surprised that the creature left its haunt, as it's supposed to stay where it died and just catch people along that path.

They try to find out where the preacher, Jacob Karn, was buried, but there is no grave so the chances of finding it and destroying the body are zero. There is also a strong smell of ozone in the air. Checking further into the history of crimes in the town they find there were two more clergymen arrested for the murder of prostitutes or other "undesirables", but who both claimed some "invisible force" was responsible. Murder weapon in both cases was a sharp object. So now they're beginning to suspect the reverend, Lori's father, might be inadvertently summoning the Hook Man, the spirit picking up on his repressed emotions and troubled view of society. As a man of God, Reverend Sorensen would deplore the state of the world, and be anxious to protect his daughter. This could be all the Hook Man needs to manifest.

Having no other choice but to try to find the unmarked grave, they split up and Sam goes to talk to Lori, while Dean heads to the cemetery noted in the report and is lucky enough to find one with the cross symbol that was scratched on the wall engraved into it. He begins to dig. Once he finds the corpse he sets it alight and stands back, watching it burn. Meanwhile, Lori's father takes exception to the time she is spending with Sam, and she gets annoyed at the preacher. Suddenly, the Hook Man appears and attacks her father. Lori screams and Sam pursues the creature into the house. He shoots it and it turns to dust.

The preacher is wounded but still alive. When Sam meets back up with Dean he asks him in annoyance why he didn't burn Jason Karn's corpse, but Dean says he did, and with salt too: the nightmare should be over. Then Sam wonders about the metal hook: perhaps that is the source of the Hook Man's power. They check and find that when Karn was executed his effects were all sent to St. Barnarbas' Church - which coincidentally is the same church Lori's father preaches at, and where they both live. Reading the parish records they find the hook was melted down, but they don't know into what, so to be on the safe side they break in and destroy everything silver.

They find Lori crying in the chapel (anyone mentions that Elvis song gets a slap!) and she admits she believes herself responsible for the two deaths and one injury, that she was angry but she thinks her anger was misplaced. She believes she is the one who should be punished, and indeed at that the Hook Man comes for her. As they battle him and frantically try to work out what silver item has been missed in their purge of the church inventory, they notice a silver necklace around Lori's neck. She says it's a church heirloom, her father gave it to her. Snapping it off, Dean legs it down to the basement where he melts it, and just at the last moment the Hook Man dissolves.

MUSIC
Split Habit: "Merry go Round"
]
Quiet Riot: "Bang Your Head (Metal Health)"
Low Five: "Noise"
Leslie Pearson: "At Rest"
APM: "Royal Bethlehem"
Paul Richards: "U Do 2 Me"
Boston: "Peace of Mind"

QUESTIONS?
None really: self-contained again, as many of the first season episodes are.

PCRs
Dean compliments Sam: "Nice job, Dr. Venkman!" He's referring to Venkman, one of the characters in the movie Ghostbusters.

Dean tells Sam: "Dude, I am Matlock." Matlock was one of those eighties terrible private-eye TV shows, this one about an attorney who solved crimes. Yeah. Matlock is seen to be beloved of the seniors in The Simpsons; when they are asked by the mayor what they enjoy, one of the main concensuses seems to be "Matlock!" so much so that the new expressway is named in his honour.

1.08 "Bugs"

Urgh! If you have an aversion to cockroaches and other crawlie things (and who doesn't?) approach this episode with caution. Having struggled through it the once I've never gone back to watch it before now. Blechh! God I hate insects! But anyway, to the story: Sam is reading about a guy in Oklahoma who apparently died of CJD, also known as Mad Cow Disease. However, when Dean asks how that is anything to do with them Sam points out that people who die from CJD usually deteriorate over months, years, and usually with some outward signs - loss of motor control, dementia etc. - but this guy died in an hour. It's strange enough to merit their investigation, the boys decide, and so head for Oklahoma.

After quizzing the dead man's co-worker the two decide to investigate the sinkhole that he was found in - the men were part of a construction team building houses in the area when the victim had his "attack". Descending into the hole, Sam finds some dead beetles and is formulating a theory about the insects having eaten out the dead man's brain, but Dean scoffs at such notions, saying that would take a lot more than ten beetles. They attend a local barbecue posing as potential buyers at a showhouse, and find that the son of the owner has a great interest in insects. There are jars of them in the house, and he has pet spiders. He seems a little weird, though Sam takes to him.

That night one of the residents is killed in the shower, apparently by an attack of spiders. When the boys quiz Matt, the kid, who would be the prime suspect as far as they are concerned, he surprises them by revealing his knowledge about the other insect-related deaths in the town. He says that as he is interested in and studies insects, he has noticed a massive coming-together of many different species to his hometown, but he has no idea what it means. While searching for clues, the boys turn up what appears to be an unmarked grave, which, when they take the bones to an anthropology professor in the local college, turn out to be Native American, about 170 years old.

"Oh no! I hear you say! Not the old "Indian burial ground" - sorry, Native American burial ground story!" - wait, just wait. It gets better.

Dean and Sam speak to a Native American who tells them that there was indeed once a reservation of his people in this land, but that over six brutal days the US Cavalry, impatient with their slow progress in relocating the tribe, raped and murdered them all. On the final day, the sixth, the dying chief of the tribe cursed the land and declared no white man should live on it, and that nature itself should rise up should they try, and defend the land. And on the sixth day, he tells them, none would survive. The brothers now have a working hypothesis: and tonight is the sixth day since the first death.

Sam and Dean race back to town, trying via phone to get the families out of the neighbourhood, but Matt's father won't listen. When they arrive they continue to argue until suddenly a massive cloud of insects blots out the sun and suddenly everyone is convinced. Running inside the house with the family, the brothers try to stop up all the gaps but there is no way to prevent at least some of the insects from gaining entrance to the house, and it is soon swarming, crawling and flying with bugs. As they try to protect themselves though, the sun rises and the sixth day ends, and with that the insects fly or crawl or slither away.

Convinced now that the house is built on cursed ground, Matt's father packs up and they leave, but Sam is glad to see that at least the two are now getting on better. Matt has lost his interest in insects, unsurprisingly, having come this close to being killed by a massive swarm of them.

MUSIC
Scorpions: "No One Like You"
Berie Marsden: "Poke in the Butt"

(Note: seems Def Leppard's "Rock of Ages" is used here again, but as we've already featured that there's no point in repeating ourselves. There are also a few other songs used but I was unable to find videos for them, so have not included them.)


QUESTIONS?
No, not really.

PCRs
Dean mentions: "Mad cow. Wasn’t that on Oprah?" Referencing Oprah Winfrey's famous talk show

Again, Dean responds to Sam's contention that some people form bonds with animals by replying "Yeah, that whole Timmy-Lassie thing." Reference to the "Lassie" movies of the 50s and 60s; Lassie being the famous border collie dog that starred.

And Dean taunts Sam with "Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters." Which obviously references the hit show "The Munsters", similar to "The Addams Family".

BROTHERS
Here I'd like to start a new post-section. As I mentioned in the introduction to this show, although it concerns itself with monsters, ghosts and helping people, and later widens to a major plotline, Supernatural is at its centre a story about two brothers. As the episodes and seasons evolve, we see deeper into the heart of each and come to appreciate more the relationship between the two, the problems they face and how they overcome their fractured past. Not every episode tackles these, but in those that do I'll be talking about them.

This is probably the first real episode in which we get an insight into the relationship. Sam, who refused to follow their father into a life of demon-hunting like his brother, has always felt both that he is seen as the black sheep of the family, and that he in some way let his father down. All he wanted was a normal life - to go to college, get a law degree, marry Jessica - but eventually all of that was blown apart by their troubled past coming back to haunt them, and he is now irrevocably set on the path of revenge, like his older brother.

However, he is there because he has been more or less forced there by circumstances, unlike Dean, who chose this path. He therefore feels a little inferior to his bigger brother, feels he is perhaps not the man Dean is, and possibly feels too a little ashamed that he deserted he and his father. We see all this come to a head in his contact with Matt, when he advises the kid, who is not getting along with his father, that he only has to wait two more years and then he can escape to college. Dean, of course, sees it another way and is angry with Sam's view. He thinks the boy should try to reconcile with his father, perhaps give him the respect he is not getting.

Dean and Sam argue about how Matt should be advised, but it's crystal clear that they're in fact arguing about their own father and how they both individually and differently approached the man. Sam later confides to Dean that he misses his father too, and although he wants to find him he is worried that John will not want to see him, feeling betrayed by his son. Dean reveals that their father used to swing by the campus to check up on Sam, and assures him that he loves him and will definitely be happy to see him.

Dean also takes capricious delight in embarrassing Sam whenever he can. In the previous episode, he tricked his younger brother into helping one of the frat guys paint his body, and here he pretends he and Sam are lovers when this is the mistaken impression the house owner gets from them. Of course there's nothing malicious in this; Dean is just a fun guy, but he probably feels his brother is too rigid and proper, and needs to be taken down a peg or two from time to time. Sam of course feels the reverse about Dean: he takes too many chances, seems to have a somewhat negotiable moral compass - at the beginning of this episode Sam is chiding him for making money as a poker shark - and probably flirts too much for his younger brother's liking, showing no real intention of ever settling down.

Two brothers who are the same on the surface but beneath are as different as can be, but who stick together and have each other's backs, as they will need to once this series gets going properly and they realise the full enormity of the task they have taken on, and the truth about the forces they face makes itself known.

1.09 "Home"

After having a premonition of danger, in fact dreaming a dream which shows the opening scene of the episode, where a little girl is menaced in her bedroom by a man made of fire, Sam tells Dean they must return home. He has been drawing a picture of a tree, unable to say where the inspiration came from, until he realises it's a tree that stands or stood outside their old house in Lawrence. He tells Dean that he can't say how, or understand why, but he knows that the house is now reoccupied and that the new tenants are in danger. When Dean presses him, he admits he sometimes has dreamed of things that then come true. Jessica's death was one such dream.

This is the first Dean has heard of this. He knows Sam has had some pretty bad nightmares, but for them to come true? And now his brother blames himself for his fiancee's death, saying he saw it beforehand in a dream but did nothing about it because he didn't believe it. If he'd had a bit more faith in his "visions", perhaps she would still be alive? Dean does not want to return to the site of his own personal nightmare - Sam was too little to be able to adequately remember what happened that night twenty-two years ago, but it's etched in fire and blood on Dean's memory, and he has no wish to reawaken those feelings. However, Sam is insistent and so they go back home.

When they speak to the lady living there, Jenny, everything seems more or less normal, though she complains of things like scratching noises and the lights flickering, but it's when her daughter, Sari, tells the boys that a "man made of fire" is in her closet that Dean begins to believe that perhaps Sam is on to something. In desperation, when alone, Dean phones their father's voicemail and leaves a shaken message: he is really worried and for once does not know what to do. The usual bravado and chirpy humour that is his trademark has totally vanished, and for once, perhaps twice in his life, he is really scared.

Trying to follow their standard modus operandi the boys check into the history of their old house - they lived there but don't know much about it really, and haven't been back for more than two decades - and talk to their father's neighbours and friends (incognito of course). This leads them to a psychic called, er, Missouri Moseley, whose name John Winchester has mentioned in their journal. Amazing the two boys, she recognises them and seems to know what they're thinking. She says she has an idea what started the fire but is unable or unwilling to elaborate. It seems to upset her greatly though, and she calls it evil.

As they talk to Missouri, things are happening back at the old Winchester house. A plumber has lost his hand in an "accident" when the garbage disposal he was fixing suddenly snapped on, and now the baby has been led into the fridge and trapped there, Jenny only barely realising where he was and saving him in time. Dean, Sam and Missouri go to the house and tell Jenny they can help. They go into Sari's room, where the psychic says the "dark energy" is concentrated. She reveals that the room Jenny's daughter is sleeping in was once Sam's nursery, the epicentre of all that happened twenty-two years ago.

Missouri tells the boys that though the thing in Sari's closet is certainly evil, it's not what killed their mother. Dark things, she says, get attracted to anywhere that true evil has been, and this appears to be one or more poltergeists, whose only aim is to kill the new occupants of the house. Without of course telling Jenny and her family about this, the trio convince her to leave the house for a few hours while they try to purify it with magic herbs and things like crossroad dirt. During the exorcism, the spirits try to kill Sam but Dean saves him and the house is cleansed. Jenny returns and Missouri tells them all is well, and leaves.

The end, right?

Er, no. Because unconvinced that everything is sorted, Dean and Sam remain in their car outside the house that night, and sure enough things start to happen. They see Sari screaming at the window and dash into the house, to see the figure of fire standing in front of her. Sam rescues Sari and Dean gets Jenny, and with Ritchie in tow they exit the house. But Sam has been trapped, held by another spirit and Dean goes back in to save him. As he approaches the figure of fire though Sam tells him to put down the gun, because he can recognise the person behind all the flames.

It's their mother.

She threatens the force holding Sam and it disappears, and she vanishes in flames into the ceiling.

The next morning Missouri apologises for misleading the boys, thinking all the spirits were gone when one remained behind. She remarks that even though she couldn't sense evil was still in the house, Sam could, but he does not know why. She bids them farewell and returns to her house where she talks to ...

... John Winchester! The boys' father says he wants desperately to talk to his sons, but he can't. Not until he knows "the truth".

MUSIC
This is the first (only?) episode not to feature any songs in it at all.

The "WTF?!!" moment
Two, really, both centred around the boys' parents. The first shock is when the fiery figure - which we have all mistakenly taken for an evil entity - turns out to be Mary Winchester, and the second, perhaps almost bigger revelation is that their father was there all along, in Missouri's house. The boys were only moments away from being reunited with their father, but he avoided them, for reasons which will become clear later.

QUESTIONS?
The big one: why does John Winchester not take the opportunity to talk to his sons, at least confirm to them that he's alive, and what is this "truth" he must find out before he can make contact?

Is Mary Winchester now dead? Was her spirit trapped in their house, awaiting the return of the boys and did she know she would need to save them? Has her soul now been saved, and if she "survived", even in spirit form, two decades, what can we really assume happened to Jessica, and where is she?

What connection has Missouri Moseley to what happened? Does she know, and is holding back the information at John's behest?

Did Sam really have a vision? Is he psychic or is there more to it, and if so, why could he not sense his father so close by?

The boys' mother tells them she is sorry. What is she sorry for? Is it just for their having to flee their home, for leaving them or is it something deeper that they don't know about? Can it be that in some way Mary Winchester knows more about the incident 22 years ago than she ever said? Certainly, in the opening episode, she almost seemed to recognise the shadowy figure holding Sam...

PCRs
Just the one. After being told by Sam about his visions, Dean is somewhat fazed. He tells him "I mean, first you tell me that you’ve got the Shining?" Referring to the Stephen King novel and movie starring Jack Nicholson, about a boy who can predict the future through visions. Or something. Never saw it myself; scary movies are not my thing.

BROTHERS
It's interesting to note that this is the first time we really see Dean vulnerable. He's shaking and in tears when he tries to contact their father; for once he's completely out of his depth and the situation is beyond his control. He's too close to this; it's too hard to look at it dispassionately. Although he was only young when his mother died, he remembers part of that night - mostly just fire and running - and is reluctant to return to where it all happened.

Sam reveals to Dean that he has these dreams of people in danger, which then seem to come true. It's news to his brother, and he needs time to assimilate that information. He tries to console Sam that there was nothing he could do about Jessica, but part of him must wonder why Sam didn't at least try? However he does support his brother, not having the faintest clue what carrying such a burden must be like.

Although their mother acknowledges them both, it must hurt Dean that she seems to concentrate more on his younger brother. Of course, it is Sam who is trapped, but Mary seems more interested in him and only says Dean's name and smiles at him. Seeing their mother again has a profound emotional effect on Dean, and again we see the tough-guy wisecracker facade fall and shatter like cheap glass.[/SPOILER]
 
Yeah, Moya was a beautiful ship. Let's not forget the White Star though...
babylon046.jpg


I've also always had a soft spot for the Romulan Warbird...
1d958382-e14d-4ba3-976f-dba6493436af.jpg
 
I don't trust anything that looks like it was designed by design school graduates and not engineers. If a spaceship looks like a tennis shoe, the only way I can suspend disbelief is to take it as a joke.

But the Eagle falls into the uncanny valley of functionality. It looks at first glance like it would make all sorts of sense, and then fridge logic kicks in. You ask: where do the pilots sit, exactly? How do they get in if there's some other sort of module? What sort of engine? Where are the sensors and comm antennas?
 

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