Internet Friendships....

[Jacquin]

You do?

Was I drunk?

why does my head hurt?

J

 

[kegasaurus]

I still think its wierd hoe most people think friendships= acquaintiships? from the sounds pf mopst of these, they are not friendships

 

[Eldanuumea]

Some people become quite close very quickly.....

 

[Pantalimon]

Originally posted by kegasaurus
I still think its wierd hoe most people think friendships= acquaintiships? from the sounds pf mopst of these, they are not friendships

Its the anonimity of the net, it allows you to talk about things you would not consider talking with even some close freinds about. So these acquaintences can seem like freinds very quickly.

 

[kegasaurus]

we're using the net as a shrink?

 

[Pantalimon]

Originally posted by kegasaurus
we're using the net as a shrink?

I definately think many people do and I also think its needed in this high pressure world were close family ties and neighbourhoods aren't what they once were.

 

[kegasaurus]

Originally posted by Pantalimon

I definately think many people do and I also think its needed in this high pressure world were close family ties and neighbourhoods aren't what they once were.

Thats not an absolute, but a choice we all make. A big part of friendship for me is touch, whther it be a hand shake, a hug or a smack on the back of the head. This you cannot garner frome an internet thingy, so I don't believe the friendship is truely formed until a meeting of the personages.

 

[Eldanuumea]

I don't know about using it as a "shrink," but I definitely have found a couple of friends I would consider rather intiimate, in terms of sharing our deepest selves.
The aspect of touch is, sadly, missing....how I have wished I could actually hug some of my net friends! Look into their eyes and enjoy the changing expressions and hear the laughter... and the tears.

 

[kegasaurus]

Actually, now that I think about it, thats what friends are about. They serve the purpose of an intimate 'Shrink' Though they don't realise it and we honestly don't acknowlege it.

 

[Sammie]

Originally posted by kegasaurus
Thats not an absolute, but a choice we all make. A big part of friendship for me is touch, whther it be a hand shake, a hug or a smack on the back of the head. This you cannot garner frome an internet thingy, so I don't believe the friendship is truely formed until a meeting of the personages.

I see you're point, Keg, and i certainly am a very tactile person, and feel the lack of that with internet friends - but i also feel that touch isn't everything, and you CAN have a 'proper' friendship without it...but i think these take longer to be consolidated (right word??) on the net than in RL.

Originally posted by kegasaurus
Actually, now that I think about it, thats what friends are about. They serve the purpose of an intimate 'Shrink' Though they don't realise it and we honestly don't acknowlege it.

I acknowledge it on a regular basis.......and have the (slightly guilty) responsiblity of having persuaded at least two friends that they do NOT neen to see the uni counsellor...they need to see their FRIENDS. But i am anti-counselling, which is abnormal, these days......

Originally posted by e-Morgana
If I know, that YOU know, that I would never do anything I didn't think was in your best interests - then I am very happy. It's all I would ever want.

Know that i know, V!

 

[kegasaurus]

Originally posted by Sammie
I see you're point, Keg, and i certainly am a very tactile person, and feel the lack of that with internet friends - but i also feel that touch isn't everything, and you CAN have a 'proper' friendship without it...but i think these take longer to be consolidated (right word??) on the net than in RL.

Nods head, yet cannot gather the senses (Look, feel, smell(Why does Ogg come to mind here. Double Brackets?) adn just the opportunity to listen to a raspy voice.) which to me define the individual adn characterise the friendship. Yes we can have a conversationoverthe net, butyou don't get the nuances that make a person personable adn to me that is where the friendship truely lies.

Originally posted by Sammie
I acknowledge it on a regular basis.......and have the (slightly guilty) responsiblity of having persuaded at least two friends that they do NOT neen to see the uni counsellor...they need to see their FRIENDS. But i am anti-counselling, which is abnormal, these days......


[/B]

Very anit-counselling myself as I just belive these people are a sounding board for (I know this will sound harsh but...) a person to to finally admit truths to themselves that they don't want to acknowledge. I use a wall for this adn probably get better answers than people who've not lived my life. A friend however has a little knowledge of the person and can steer them in the right direction, unless they are just plain evil, such as I am.

 

[Sammie]

Agree with your sounding board thing....BUT...not so sure i can condone talking to walls....we have names for people that do that, here in the hospital

Originally posted by kegasaurus
Nods head, yet cannot gather the senses (Look, feel, smell(Why does Ogg come to mind here. Double Brackets?) adn just the opportunity to listen to a raspy voice.) which to me define the individual adn characterise the friendship. Yes we can have a conversationoverthe net, butyou don't get the nuances that make a person personable adn to me that is where the friendship truely lies.

Again i see your point...and yet, i don't think the 5 senses are needed to 'define' a person. (Well four...i think we can all agree to do without taste ). A blind person can't see their frineds, and deaf person can't hear them...does this mean that they don't know the person? Definitely not.

Admittedly, online there's more than just the one sense missing....but i think you still get enough of the nuances of a person to say that - EVENTUALLY - you know them pretty damned well. And let's be honest - we never know the HEART of anyone, online or off....so ''damned well'' is quite sufficient in my book.

On the other hand...i used to feel exactly the way you do, Keg...so maybe i've just been too well 'integrated' into the system!

 

[kegasaurus]

Originally posted by Sammie
Agree with your sounding board thing....BUT...not so sure i can condone talking to walls....we have names for people that do that, here in the hospital

Strangley pictures Sammie with three other doctors, pointing at one of the inflicted and saying 'Keg.'

 

[Radthorne]

Rocketsheep said:

PS... looked at your book... looks fabulous.

What a wonderful sheep you are! (You'll always be a cute and cuddely sheep to me, no matter what the doctors say... about you or me!) (Of course, I've not had the experience of shearing sheep, as have you; perhaps they're not really so cute and cuddely? Or perhaps they're just soft on the outside, and toffee-like on the inside? )

On another note: Isn't it amazing how wonderfully expressive Marie is in a language that is not her own? I can only imagine how she must sound in Swedish. She certainly conveys the most vivid picture of what friendship means, much better than I could in my own language! It is certainly nice to know that there are people like her out there, who even despite having felt the pain of hurt are more than willing to continue to give friendship straight from the heart. She really is a good example for us all. (Thanks again, Pants, for showing her the way over here to SFFWorld! We're all the much better for it).

 

[Eldanuumea]

Yes, she means a great deal to us at the "other" forum....we knew we couldn't keep her all to ourselves!!

 

[Eldanuumea]

Originally posted by Pantalimon

Its the anonimity of the net, it allows you to talk about things you would not consider talking with even some close freinds about. So these acquaintences can seem like freinds very quickly.

The idea of anonymity leading to an increased intimacy is twisting my brain around. I read this earlier but it didn't sink in.
You may be on to something there, Pants. I am a pretty out front, open person anyway....but on the net I find I will tell juat about anybody just about anything!! There is a sense of privacy and intimacy bound up together somehow.
Of course, I know many folks who don't give out any personal info whatsoever.
I will admit I am probably guilty of giving out way too much.....but I have made some very close friends quite quickly because of it.

 

[Marie]

Originally posted by Radthorne
On another note: Isn't it amazing how wonderfully expressive Marie is in a language that is not her own? I can only imagine how she must sound in Swedish. She certainly conveys the most vivid picture of what friendship means, much better than I could in my own language! It is certainly nice to know that there are people like her out there, who even despite having felt the pain of hurt are more than willing to continue to give friendship straight from the heart. She really is a good example for us all. (Thanks again, Pants, for showing her the way over here to SFFWorld! We're all the much better for it).

Thank you very much.

But please remember, I have good and bad sides like every one else.

 

[Marie]

Originally posted by Eldanuumea
Yes, she means a great deal to us at the "other" forum....we knew we couldn't keep her all to ourselves!!

 

[Pantalimon]

Originally posted by Eldanuumea
Yes, she means a great deal to us at the "other" forum....we knew we couldn't keep her all to ourselves!!

I don't know, I'm starting to regret that thread bridge it means we have to spread Marie's love very thinly between two forums who have a lot of single mean on them *eyes the compertion

 

[Eldanuumea]

Originally posted by Pantalimon

I don't know, I'm starting to regret that thread bridge it means we have to spread Marie's love very thinly between two forums who have a lot of single mean on them *eyes the compertion

Don't regret your bridge, Pants! I will be forever grateful to you for introducing me to the folks around here...especially to e-Morgana, Radthorne, and Kater! (not to mention Jacquin, fluffy bunny, Cadfael, Hobbit, Sammie, Kahnovitch, Shezad, and a host of other folks I am getting to know.)
Marie has enough love to go around!