Whether you’re a lowly hobbit or a grizzled space mercenary, it’s par for the course to face bloodthirsty minions and world-ending Big Bads. But how do our plucky heroes level the playing-field when faced with such dire odds? By bringing out the big guns of course! Science-fiction, fantasy and, of course, mythology, are packed with legendary weapons for those times when wishful thinking and courage just aren’t gonna cut it.
Check out my picks below and add those you think I’ve missed in the comments section below.
10) The Weirding Module – Dune
Love him or hate him, there’s something no-one can say about Frank Herbert and that’s that he lacks imagination. The Weirding Modules used by the Fremen of Arrakis in Dune are sonic weapons that translate words into real, physical attacks. And our hero Paul Atreides’ Fremen name, Muad’Dib, is the most powerful killing name of them all. Though in the books the Weirding Way involves far more than simply firing sonic waves and they had to simplify it for the 1984 film adaptation, there’s no denying the fact that a weapon that converts your very name into a powerful attack is simply awesome.
9) The Glaive – Krull
Everyone’s seen Krull, that epitome of cheesy, low-budget 80’s fantasy camp and if you haven’t, well, I’m not sure whether you should count yourself lucky. Regardless, the main thing I remember from the film (aside from the cringeworthy effects) is the sheer coolness of our hero Prince Colwyn’s magical weapon – the Glaive. Resembling a large shuriken star, with razor spikes that appear on command, the blade can be thrown, returning to the wielder’s hands on command. This weapon, as with most in such fiction, proves the key to defeating the Big Bad, the imaginatively titled Beast.
8) The Boltgun – Warhammer 40,000
Few literary heroes have to face as dire a threat as those that live in the grim-dark Warhammer 40,000 universe. From rampaging Space Orks to the gribbly minions of the Chaos gods, mankind is beset on all sides by a tide of slavering foes. It falls to the Space Marines, the superhuman champions of humanity, to face the worst of these threats. And what better weapon to wield than the Bolter? More than a gun, these huge firearms launch enormous rocket-propelled rounds that detonate inside their foe, exploding them into grisly mist. Low-tech and far less elegant than a laser, as befits such a dystopian future.
7) Plasma Caster – Predator (And Sequels)
Not many sights evoke such feelings of dread as a trio of red laser dots converging on someone’s head. The Predator – one of science-fiction’s great antagonists – has an arsenal of weapons at its alien beck and call; the spear, net, spinning disc, to name a few. But the shoulder-mounted laser cannon – known as the plasma caster in lore – holds a special place in many hearts. With the power to annihilate humans, bring down space ships and even slay the mighty xenomorphs, the plasma caster remains one of the most dread weapons in all of science-fiction.
6) Excalibur – Arthur (2017 film) and Folklore
Ask anyone to name a magical sword and Excalibur will probably top the list of responses. The Dwarf-forged weapon imbued with magic has been a mainstay in Arthurian legend for hundreds of years. Various attributes have been ascribed to it during its many incarnations, but the most recent, in the surprisingly good 2017 film Arthur, gifted the eponymous hero the ability to slow time, enabling him to vanquish hordes of enemies in mere moments. Excalibur is undoubtedly the inspiration for countless similar mystical swords in the pages of fantasy novels.
5) Lawgiver- Judge Dredd
He is the Law and, as such, has to have a firearm to suit. The Lawgiver, a machine-pistol with a myriad different rounds tailored for any situation, is the ultimate side arm for any cop patrolling a violent futuristic megacity. Want to take out a perp round a corner? Use a rubber bullet. Need maximum carnage? High explosive rounds have you covered. But what if such a fearsome weapon falls into the wrong hands? Well worry ye not – thanks to palm-print recognition, any unauthorised person trying to use a Lawgiver will face injury or worse. When it comes to dystopian sci-fi weapons, Judge Dredd knows exactly what readers enjoy.
4) Sting – Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit
For such a legendary weapon, you’d expect Sting to feature higher up the list. But though it features in Tolkien’s works, and as such is worthy of a high place on this list, Sting isn’t the most awesome of weapons. It glows blue in the presence of orcs and goblins, which is damn useful, as well as making for a fine torch. It’s sharp, too, and Gollum fears it, though he’s mad so does that count? But other than that, it’s nothing more than a short sword, dagger-sized for most. Yet a perfect side-arm for perhaps the bravest little heroes to venture onto the page, so that alone earns it great respect and a place on this list.
3) Mjolnir – Thor (Movies) and Folklore
To quote Amon Amarth, Thor, thunder god, protector of mankind. A worthy title for such a mighty character. And, as befits such a figure, a mighty weapon to match. The great hammer, Mjolnir, forged from Star Metal (or Uru, for those in the know), was created as part of a bet against the trickster-god Loki and is powerful enough to smite anything Thor so wishes, as well as returning to his hand after being thrown. In the Marvel universe it also allows Thor to summon lightning and fly (or rather, be towed behind it). A godly weapon for a literal god.
2) Pulse Rifle – Aliens
Does any weapon possess a noise more distinctive? Perhaps, but we’ll get to that in a moment. The Colonial Marines didn’t know what they were getting into when they landed on LV426. But thankfully, when the xenomorph threat raised its ugly head, they were armed with the M41A Pulse Rifle. Ten millimetre, with an over and under thirty mill pump action grenade launcher, the Pulse Rifle was the Marine’s best friend, beating even knives and sharp sticks when it came to a fight. For all the good it did them… Game over, man. Game over.
And the ultimate fictional weapon of all time?
Light Sabre – Star Wars
Was there ever any doubt? Has there ever been a weapon so iconic in sound and looks as the weapon wielded by Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader? Formed of plasma contained in a magnetic field and coloured depending on the crystal in its hilt, the lightsabre is an elegant weapon from a more civilised age, capable of cutting through all but Cortosis and Superman’s skin (though that’s an argument for another time). In both single and dual-blade forms (as wielded by Darth Maul) the lightsabre will deflect blaster bolts back the way they came and cut through a hundred stormtroopers with no effort. But most importantly, that sound, man… BZZZZTTT.
Honourable (Comic) Mention: The Noisy Cricket – Men in Black
Will Smith’s look said it all when Kay introduced him to the diminutive sidearm. How could such a tiny and seemingly pathetic pistol be any use when confronting intersteller threats? As soon as he pulled that trigger and flew backwards twenty feet from the recoil, audiences were in hysterics. And the Noisy Cricket proved, once and for all, that good things do come in small packages.
About the Author
A self-confessed nerd of the highest order, Gareth, when not playing video games, painting Warhammer, or working on his latest novel, can often be found blitzing about the British countryside on a clapped-out Kawasaki sport bike. It is said that he runs and lifts weights, because if he can’t be tall then he can at least be in good shape. And rumour has it he once came eighth in the British Pipe Smoking Championships…
If you want to read any of his work, check out the Graeme Stone Saga, the eponymous hero of which possesses his own magical weapons in the form of his obsidian Glaives, Sinister and Dexter.
http://www.garethkpengelly.co.uk/
What about Stormbringer from the Elric series???
Stormbringer. The malicious soul sucking sentient sword wielded by (or wielding) Elric. The only fantasy weapon to have songs written about it by Blue Oyster Cult and Deep Purple (ecen if DP deny it).